Isuckatgaming

You think you're so cool, with your stick, bullying citizens, you didn't see what i did, my brothers did, the CAPTAIN did, you couldn't know anything we lived through. When I was a child the combines forced me and the other kids to make cremator heads, every day, I saw another of my friends die, right before my eyes, we were forced to work, forced to build monsters, while standing next to the guts of our friends, the only smell in that hellhole, was the smell of our brothers blood, that, was the hell I was in. Those are the only memories from my childhood. The Captain saved me from that hell, he and his men, they burnt the whole factory to the ground...he was a god in my eyes, he saved us.... he freed us... made us men! He made us soldiers...I'm happy to die here, for HIS cause...because my life, everything I am, belongs to him...

To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Dallas events. The character development is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of post-modern film theory most of the jokes will go over a typical players’s head. There’s also Dallas’s nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation- his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these events, to realise that they’re not just fun to play- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Dallas truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn’t appreciate, for instance, the humour in Dallas’s existential catchphrase “For fuck's sake Powley,” which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev’s Russian epic Fathers and Sons. I’m smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dallas’s genius wit unfolds itself on their computer screens. What fools.. how I pity them.

And yes, by the way, i DO have a Wasteland 3 tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It’s for the ladies’ eyes only- and even then they have to demonstrate that they’re within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand. Nothin personnel kid

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Birthday
Dec 14, 1999 (Age: 24)
Occupation
gamer god

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