PART ONE: you're doing it wrong how roleplayers think fights play out how fights actually play out see the difference? the former is clearly movie magic. it's false, fake, fictional. entertaining to watch, no doubt, but far too clean and precise to be considered realistic. this is how roleplayers often envision their characters when they fight: pinpoint hits, quick movements, agile shifting of stances, peerless usage of fighting styles; absolutely no mistakes or awkwardness of any kind. sad to say that this isn't how fights work. maybe in the unreal, fantastical universe of the MCU, sure, but in any reasonable setting? nope. the latter on the other hand is far more accurate. the movements are awkward, random. much of the fighting consists of imprecise swinging and unpleasant stumbling followed by a brutal beatdown to top the whole thing off. this is how most fights go. they usually happen far too quickly to permit the application of proper stances or kung fu moves. PART TWO: /me is so brutal! i don't know why but a lot of you like to engage in this abominable trope. battle cries, bullshit "adrenaline" excuses, unnecessarily brutal moves, acting like you just came off the set of braveheart, trying to decapitate and gouge out the eyes of every person you engage in fisticuffs with. you don't have to bathe in the blood of everyone who throws a punch your way. there's no reason to go around making necklaces out of the entrails of people who start bar fights or minor scuffles with you. and furthermore, not everyone move you perform has to be prefaced with adjectives like "savage" or "crazy" or followed by dumb shit like "battle cries". furthermore, you don't have to win every fight. you don't have to end every person's life. i've seen characters who are otherwise nonviolent engage in excessively violent fights to the death over very trivial matters. stop that. roleplay human beings for fuck sakes. PART THREE: reaction times and other forgotten relics most of you severely overestimate the reaction times of your own characters while severely underestimating the reaction times of others. when something unexpected happens, you are typically shocked. in being shocked, you are robbed of the ability to act immediately. sometimes you may act irrationally; other times you might not act at all. when a guy decks someone a few feet away from you, you're not gonna instantly fall on the bastard like your life depends on it. might take a second for you to register what just happened; in that time, the guy might have turned his attention to you or perhaps begun to make an escape. in either case, you didn't act immediately because you were in shock. another example. when someone throws a punch at you and you're not expecting it, you're most likely going to take the hit. hell, even if you ARE expecting it you're still very likely to get hit. dodging things is quite difficult if you're not agile or well trained. blocking is less egregious but is ineffective for those who aren't any good at fighting. despite this, i see many of you constantly dodging and blocking your way through every combat encounter because you think for some reason that your characters have the reaction times of god damn ninjas. this was a very incoherent rant and i do not apologize. fix your fucking ways, nebulous. make bar fights more enjoyable.