Memorable SS13 Rounds

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As title says. Discuss your most memorable SS13 rounds.

For plebs not in the know, SS13 is a indie sandbox Sci-fi game where a number of players take on roles to keep a state-of-the-art (read: rickety piece of shit) space station up and running. All the while, the crew has to deal with disasters such as corporate saboteurs, shitty security officers, Xenomorphs, kill squads, clown invasions, rogue AI, wayward black holes and meteor storms. It's considered a miracle if you manage to survive.

I'll start mine. Firstly, this round isn't your vanilla experience. It's on a server called Colonial Marines (which is 100x better than the game Sega made, mind) where as the name implies, you get to be either a Marine fighting ayyyliums or an alien killing baldie Marines. I was a Marine medic this particular round.

We gear up, get briefed by the XO since there was no Commander and head down to the planet. Round goes pretty standard and contact gets made with aliens. Then shit hits the fan. Thanks to incompetence, an assault on the Xeno hive fails and we fall back to our established FOB with the wounded and the aliens following us. We barely have enough men to defend it, but we don't run back to the Sulaco, our ship in orbit. I should mention that despite being a 2D game about spessmen (spess mehreens in CM's case) it can get pretty hellish fast. People are dying and bleeding and being one of the few medics left I barely had enough supplies to treat everyone. (Squad medics are forbidden to perform surgery by the rules) It gets so bad that I have to resort to ghetto tactics such as feeding people food to restore blood and CPR. I was performing CPR on a Marine that had his lungs ruptured by some idiot who turned a sentry gun's safety settings off when a Commander announced himself.

Thank God. Maybe he can help us, right? Wrong. His first words to the dying and fighting marines on the planet was about how much he loved mom's spaghetti.

Like an omen, the Marine I'm giving CPR to died choking on his own blood the moment the CO says this. As the aliens manage to secure a foothold and start overrunning our defences, the CO continues talking on and on about how much he loves spaghetti. Mom's spaghetti, restaurant spaghetti, frozen spaghetti, all kinds of spaghetti. We scream at him to give the retreat order, but he ignores us and keeps talking. Eventually, we all unanimously agree to retreat ourselves and start packing up to get the fuck out. As we run, the CO won't shut up about spaghetti. A glob of spit knocks me down and the aliens drag me away from my retreating comrades. They hug me and later when I'm about to spawn a chestburster, the last thing I hear is the CO saying he'll make spaghetti for the aliens.

I join the Xeno side, evolve all the way to a hunter by the time the aliens raid the Sulaco and abandon the ensuing fight in the hangar deck to claw my way into the Bridge. A one-alien-army. I kill the entire bridge staff, their guards and personally tell the Commander about how much I love spaghetti by cutting his head off with a tail swipe.

That was a good round. I made myself spaghetti afterwards to celebrate.
 
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ruben slikk

life aint shut but a fat vagin
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vgstation round where i singlehandedly killed a nuke op team

was working on toxins, see a guy running through maint with a locker
run after him, open the locker, out come nuke ops who were trying to sneak in

they chase me back to toxins, i close the door on them, take a bomb, open the door, suicidebombed them

cue round end sound "IF YOU SMELLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING", OOC chat explodes with "what the fuck round was it?" "i didnt even see a single nuke op"
 
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Captain Cardgage

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My Borg got promoted somehow by the HoS for single handingly kill a team of shadowlings as a engiborg then security got fired except the warden and the HoS.
 
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shibe

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was geneticist and a traitor, told the HoP I had the hulk power, and asked him if he wants it too, he said yes, i said "please come with me" i injected him, he turned into a monkey, then I dumped himinto the disposal unit
 
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Enlightening

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A few days ago, on tg, nuke ops decide to declare war upon us when I choose to observe that round, soundly, I get an pAI prompt, I click yes, wanting to shred the everliving shit out of Syndicate scum, and request to be put in control of a hacked Mulebot, they hack the mulebot's motor so it drives faster, turns the safeties off and let me loose. I spot two shielded hardsuit wearing syndicate scum, proceed to run them over as if I was a bowling ball, and kill two nuclear ops in a span of thirty seconds top, I end up being very damaged due to the bomb implants they have and retire from Syndicate killing for the remainder of the round.
 

cns - he/him/his

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i was playing on tg like a day or two ago and i was qm, nuke-ops declared war on station so within seconds my cargo bay was filled with sec shouting "where guns????". So I spend all my points on riot armour and energy weapons and hand them out to the crew. Some how along this amazing story I get damaged so I brake into medical and to the place with all the kits, once there some random med shoots me with a syeringe gun so I wipe out a gat, knock her down and choke her out before a cargo tech of mine killed like 4 nuke ops on a mulebot
 

Entora

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joined 30 player server and harassed the dirty liggers over radio

white pink hair females beat me to crit, was saved by hop who is a ligger

i put the hop down the trash chute and made more racist radio remarks till shuttle, pushed a ligger into space
 

in pu

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i have stories out the ass and will periodically load this thread with them now

decide to observe, instantly hear the roundstart hype of the ghosts who find out it was a nuke ops round, i watch them and listen to their entire plan, it consisted of them entering through the north side solar entrance and just bumrushing the disk. they take a good half hour to gear up, assign roles, backup plans, even meeting spots, very competent team, except for one motherfucker, #4. can easily tell #4 is the weak link, he doesn't know what he's doing, everyone holds his hand through the process, etc

fast forward - ship is north of station, they all deploy, waiting outside of the solar doo as one of them hacks it, #4 E-MAG's it before the door is unbolted, thus sealing it forever

everyone else: "god fucking damn it #4"

"Meaty Ores incoming to the station."

#4: "why didn't the emag open the door???"

#4 strolls into the middle of the bunched up group as he then gets struck by a perilous space bovine traveling at maximum velocity towards them, killing him, causing his explosive implant to activate, which then procedurally activated the implants of all the other ops in a wonderful symphony of incompetence, ending the round swiftly and causing mass hysteria among the ghosts

god bless #4
 
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Gr4Ss

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Alright, so, I used to play a mute engineer whom was decently well known on the server. Character had a bit of a reputation to just do stuff instead of asking and also that of being easiest to kill, hardest to keep dead.

So I join up and decide to give Chief Engineer a shot as normal engie was getting dull. It's a traitor round, I spawn in as a traitor. In my good habit I don't look at my objectives once I see that I'm a traitor but just pull my PDA out and buy a syndie balloon. Yes, I play traitor on hard mode. Then I see my objective: steal magboots and escape alive. Wait a minute... I'm wearing those already because CE!

Before I leave my office however, an admin contacts me and asks if I want a different objective. I say yes, I don't like easy mode. He asks if I want to play hardcore mode. I say yes, but tell him I already spend my points on a balloon. Kind admin says he'll give me twenty more points (double normal) and put me in hard mode. I end up with three more objectives and only 10 extra points (giving them twice apparently didn't add them up).

But no worries, I just buy a second syndie balloon right away to give to someone else (I take my hardcore mode seriously), then go about reading objectives. Steal diamond, captain's jumpsuit, something else. Meh, alright. Captain goes AFK halfway in the round, standing on the bridge. I kindly ask the AI to let me into his office so I can put him in bed. When the AI gets called as doorknob I quickly grab a bunch of shit (as in, every valuable/traitor item in the room and not just the captain's jumpsuit) and head out. Then the AI hologram appears just after I grabbed the nuke auth disc. Fuck. Or not... casually walk to the locker and pretend to stuff things away, telling the AI it is safer that way. The AI agrees and goes off being doorknob again.

And with my new captain access I go and plunder research (needed a bag of holding) and then go plunder the station... space suits, hand teleporter, trip to satellite to grab a space suit there, jetpack, and just about every other traitor item on the station. A few welder fuel tank bombs causing three air leaks (security, atmos oxygen and mix tank and singularity emitter) quickly send the station spiralling down out of control. Shuttle gets called, I casually walk on with a syndie balloon in one hand a space suit in the other as my bag of holding was full.

I asked the admin to add all other shit I stole to my objectives.

Round completes and... I completed a whopping 10 objectives with nobody apparently even really having noticed shit was missing. Two traitors failed because I stole the stuff they were supposed to steal.

And that's how I won SS13. Plunder the station as if I'm shopping and end the round with people going "wtf, someone stole the nuke disc?"
 
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Enlightening

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Alright, so, I used to play a mute engineer whom was decently well known on the server. Character had a bit of a reputation to just do stuff instead of asking and also that of being easiest to kill, hardest to keep dead.

So I join up and decide to give Chief Engineer a shot as normal engie was getting dull. It's a traitor round, I spawn in as a traitor. In my good habit I don't look at my objectives once I see that I'm a traitor but just pull my PDA out and buy a syndie balloon. Yes, I play traitor on hard mode. Then I see my objective: steal magboots and escape alive. Wait a minute... I'm wearing those already because CE!

Before I leave my office however, an admin contacts me and asks if I want a different objective. I say yes, I don't like easy mode. He asks if I want to play hardcore mode. I say yes, but tell him I already spend my points on a balloon. Kind admin says he'll give me twenty more points (double normal) and put me in hard mode. I end up with three more objectives and only 10 extra points (giving them twice apparently didn't add them up).

But no worries, I just buy a second syndie balloon right away to give to someone else (I take my hardcore mode seriously), then go about reading objectives. Steal diamond, captain's jumpsuit, something else. Meh, alright. Captain goes AFK halfway in the round, standing on the bridge. I kindly ask the AI to let me into his office so I can put him in bed. When the AI gets called as doorknob I quickly grab a bunch of shit (as in, every valuable/traitor item in the room and not just the captain's jumpsuit) and head out. Then the AI hologram appears just after I grabbed the nuke auth disc. Fuck. Or not... casually walk to the locker and pretend to stuff things away, telling the AI it is safer that way. The AI agrees and goes off being doorknob again.

And with my new captain access I go and plunder research (needed a bag of holding) and then go plunder the station... space suits, hand teleporter, trip to satellite to grab a space suit there, jetpack, and just about every other traitor item on the station. A few welder fuel tank bombs causing three air leaks (security, atmos oxygen and mix tank and singularity emitter) quickly send the station spiralling down out of control. Shuttle gets called, I casually walk on with a syndie balloon in one hand a space suit in the other as my bag of holding was full.

I asked the admin to add all other shit I stole to my objectives.

Round completes and... I completed a whopping 10 objectives with nobody apparently even really having noticed shit was missing. Two traitors failed because I stole the stuff they were supposed to steal.

And that's how I won SS13. Plunder the station as if I'm shopping and end the round with people going "wtf, someone stole the nuke disc?"
On most servers, you can emag the communications console to send a message to the Syndicate, asking for additional objectives and credits.
 

Gr4Ss

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On most servers, you can emag the communications console to send a message to the Syndicate, asking for additional objectives and credits.
Not on Baystation. Wasn't really needed there considering most people only managed to complete their objectives in the end of the round chaos. Besides if you completed your objective (which usually doesn't happen before you're an hour into the round) you are just expected to cause a shuttle call as well so it doesn't go on forever, not do even more objectives.
 

scrubmcnoob

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Here is a quickie story.
On Paradise and Nuke ops declare war, I am scientist and start bomb manufacturing.
I grab two other bags for bomb holding.
Now I have a science and normal backpack, as well as a duffle bag.
Each bomb was on a signal freq and set one higher from each other. The order went Science, Normal, and then Duffle.
I see nuke ops charging up, so I leave a bag next to a locker and run off, detonate it and get one op; another losing his leg. I then drop a bomb in a locker and push it towards them, getting two of them this time.
Finally, after they shot a shit load of people, I ran down the hallway into the remaining two nukies while they were reloading their weapons and before they could gat me into crit, I detonated my duffle bag bomb.
This ended their malicious attempts and I was hailed as the true duffle bag bomber.
 

Expax

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this game sounds really silly and fun.
what is it about anyway?
 
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this game sounds really silly and fun.
what is it about anyway?
For plebs not in the know, SS13 is a indie sandbox Sci-fi game where a number of players take on roles to keep a state-of-the-art (read: rickety piece of shit) space station up and running. All the while, the crew has to deal with disasters such as corporate saboteurs, shitty security officers, Xenomorphs, kill squads, clown invasions, rogue AI, wayward black holes and meteor storms. It's considered a miracle if you manage to survive.
 

scrubmcnoob

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Only stories can explain this game.
The full scope of the game is so large, its very hard to take in.
Just imagine insanity in space literally incarnated into anything possible.
 

Enlightening

Quark
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For plebs not in the know, SS13 is a indie sandbox Sci-fi game where a number of players take on roles to keep a state-of-the-art (read: rickety piece of shit) space station up and running. All the while, the crew has to deal with disasters such as corporate saboteurs, shitty security officers, Xenomorphs, kill squads, clown invasions, rogue AI, wayward black holes and meteor storms. It's considered a miracle if you manage to survive.
 

Enlightening

Quark
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why is there a wizard??
It's best not to question some aspects of the game, as they are just made for fun/made in a light-hearted way, the wizards are from the Wizard Federation, apparently. The game is packed full of references and unexplainable stuff that is just passed off as "bluespace" when questioned ICly, some other references include xenomorphs, the thing from the movie the thing, hulk as a genetic superpower, etc.
 
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