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resident australian
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- Apr 26, 2016
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So, this is an unfinished story that I felt like writing at 3am about. It's about a man who gets chased down by a mob playing polka and then dies I guess and the part about polka hasnt even been introduced into the story and the tense is all over the fucking place because i am the worlds shittiest writer but i have a sense of smugness about me because i won one fucking writing competition at the age of 7 despite only being able to write in scribbles the year before thanks to cartoons thanks cartoons
also yes i totally stole the name from weird al go away
"So, Steve, when are ya' heading out?" John let out without a single thought, simply choosing to focus on the TV blaring mindless bleeps and flashes, instead of choosing to acknowledge Steve by simply turning to him and listening, you know, like a barbarian would.
Steve quickly turned back to John before entering the small hall, "I never said I was?". John paused for a while, seemingly thinking over the options in his head. Instead of possibly getting up and arguing with Steve, or possibly having an excited and well paced fight with a space octopus or made the moon crash into the Earth, John (for plot and to allow the author to be lazy) just sunk further into the already depressed cushion, slowly lay down his head onto his chest and simply went 'Eh'. He didn't even bother to shrug his shoulders. Jerk. Steve just tried to spin around on his heel, falling flat on his face, because spinning on a shag-like carpet works out well. After a moment, he pulled himself back up and went down the hall, stopping at a door and entering. For a while the house was quiet, with a few people popping in and out of the kitchen as John flipping in and out of various positions, ranging from 'Space Hogging Hassle' to 'Whoops Who Flipped Gravity?'. After said hours had passed, the sun had gone down and the moon was rising, there was a short knock. The knock was quickly followed by another, cutting it off mid resonance. John quickly rolled onto the floor and shuffled around to the arm of the couch, hiding where he wouldn't have been able to have been seen from the entryway. John left himself alone with his thoughts as the door was abused, instead choosing to study the carpet and its unique inhabitants. Most was unseen, swallowed whole by the shag carpeting, leaving few available to the casual onlooker, or, in John's case, someone down on all fours hiding from... Probably a salesman or something. Again the demon spawn salesman knocked again, this time with some yelling.
"Hey, anyone home?" The voice deeply spoke. John peeped his head up high above the arm of the couch, shouting back at the demon. "Stay back, salesman scum!"
A sigh came audibly through under the door, "John, open the door. It's Dan, not some salesman."
"Nonsense! You're obviously trying to trick me, get in and eat my flesh, or sell me flesh softener to soften me up and then eat my flesh!"
"Agh..." There was a short ring and before long, some mumbling. His roommate Steve soon came out and went to the door. John quickly started shouting at Steve, "No! Don't open the door! It's just a demon posing as Dan!".
Steve quickly raised his shoulders up and down, opening the door nonetheless. A man stepping, dressed in some coveralls, with 'Janitor' stitched on the side.
"Told you I wasn't a demon."
John grunted, pulling out his phone and taking a seat on the floor again.
"You... Could've been..."
Dan scoffed, inching toward the fridge. "Yeah, right." He pulled out a can of something and moved towards the hall, heading into the second room on the right.
criticism and comments appreciated okay thanks bye more parts on their way soon
also yes i totally stole the name from weird al go away
"So, Steve, when are ya' heading out?" John let out without a single thought, simply choosing to focus on the TV blaring mindless bleeps and flashes, instead of choosing to acknowledge Steve by simply turning to him and listening, you know, like a barbarian would.
Steve quickly turned back to John before entering the small hall, "I never said I was?". John paused for a while, seemingly thinking over the options in his head. Instead of possibly getting up and arguing with Steve, or possibly having an excited and well paced fight with a space octopus or made the moon crash into the Earth, John (for plot and to allow the author to be lazy) just sunk further into the already depressed cushion, slowly lay down his head onto his chest and simply went 'Eh'. He didn't even bother to shrug his shoulders. Jerk. Steve just tried to spin around on his heel, falling flat on his face, because spinning on a shag-like carpet works out well. After a moment, he pulled himself back up and went down the hall, stopping at a door and entering. For a while the house was quiet, with a few people popping in and out of the kitchen as John flipping in and out of various positions, ranging from 'Space Hogging Hassle' to 'Whoops Who Flipped Gravity?'. After said hours had passed, the sun had gone down and the moon was rising, there was a short knock. The knock was quickly followed by another, cutting it off mid resonance. John quickly rolled onto the floor and shuffled around to the arm of the couch, hiding where he wouldn't have been able to have been seen from the entryway. John left himself alone with his thoughts as the door was abused, instead choosing to study the carpet and its unique inhabitants. Most was unseen, swallowed whole by the shag carpeting, leaving few available to the casual onlooker, or, in John's case, someone down on all fours hiding from... Probably a salesman or something. Again the demon spawn salesman knocked again, this time with some yelling.
"Hey, anyone home?" The voice deeply spoke. John peeped his head up high above the arm of the couch, shouting back at the demon. "Stay back, salesman scum!"
A sigh came audibly through under the door, "John, open the door. It's Dan, not some salesman."
"Nonsense! You're obviously trying to trick me, get in and eat my flesh, or sell me flesh softener to soften me up and then eat my flesh!"
"Agh..." There was a short ring and before long, some mumbling. His roommate Steve soon came out and went to the door. John quickly started shouting at Steve, "No! Don't open the door! It's just a demon posing as Dan!".
Steve quickly raised his shoulders up and down, opening the door nonetheless. A man stepping, dressed in some coveralls, with 'Janitor' stitched on the side.
"Told you I wasn't a demon."
John grunted, pulling out his phone and taking a seat on the floor again.
"You... Could've been..."
Dan scoffed, inching toward the fridge. "Yeah, right." He pulled out a can of something and moved towards the hall, heading into the second room on the right.
criticism and comments appreciated okay thanks bye more parts on their way soon
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