show us your food GOD DAMNIT

[Subeh]

Looks like it could double as a fucking blunt weapon

it's longer than my forearm

not kidding

 

[Blackquill]

it's longer than my forearm

not kidding

imagine Agent 47 hitting you over the head with it

Looks like it belongs in a hitman game

 

[Johnny B. Goode]

ate the captain's food the other day because he brought his own stuff

 

[Subeh]

​

alright boys

enough is enough

ive practiced

ive fan fried

ive smoked

ive grilled

its time

high grade, 1.2kg (2.64lb) tomahawk steak that costed me a whopping $90 AUD

gonna smoke this bad boy with a combination of hickory and apple wood chunks, with a nice barbecue rub and occasional bathing in garlic butter

expecting a 2-1/2 to 3 hour cook, given ill be holding it steady between 125c and 175c

also this is my 5000th post

do you know how proud i am that this is my 5000th post

It's time.

I will return in 3-4 hours with pictures.

Wish me luck friends; today is a day of ascension.

 

[Subeh]

​

friends

today was a proud day

today, I have discovered heaven

Spoiler: humble beginnings

Spoiler: the finished product

Spoiler: sliced up

Spoiler: tenderness test

seasoned with only salt and pepper with garlic infused extra virgin olive oil as a binder, allowed to sit until room temperature before its maiden voyage onto the heat

2 hour long smoke with pecan smoking chunks, along a consistent temperature of between 120-130c for the duration of the cook (in a kettle grill, mind you); every 30 minutes it was glazed with garlic butter, which was also in the grill with it so that the butter could pick up on the smoky flavour. at the end, i poured in a good bed of coals and seared it on either side for about two minutes, which caused the fat to render back and turn translucent.

the end product was an exactly 62c internal, edge-to-edge medium rare; consistent throughout the entire cut, no singular edge overcooked. the smokyness was perfectly balanced, not drawing away from the beef flavour whatsoever. it was juicy enough that when pressed with the side of a knife, it was like a waterfall of juice. as you can see by the latter picture, the tenderness was almost pull-apart yet the entire thing held its form immaculately when i transported it.

i genuinely do understand why people lash out to buy expensive meat like this because the difference really really is noticeable

calling my meat brethren @Santa Key @Chezburger @nexus

im so glad i decided to take this up as a hobby

 

[Chezburger]

But does it have the fake grill marks

 

[john]

lasagna i made the day before, i was a bit weak on the cheese since we didn't have much grated

its been more than half a year and im still thinking about this unholy lasagna, it invades my dreams and disturbs me in the most uncomfortable ways

 

[key]

​

friends

today was a proud day

today, I have discovered heaven

Spoiler: humble beginnings

Spoiler: the finished product

Spoiler: sliced up

Spoiler: tenderness test

seasoned with only salt and pepper with garlic infused extra virgin olive oil as a binder, allowed to sit until room temperature before its maiden voyage onto the heat

2 hour long smoke with pecan smoking chunks, along a consistent temperature of between 120-130c for the duration of the cook (in a kettle grill, mind you); every 30 minutes it was glazed with garlic butter, which was also in the grill with it so that the butter could pick up on the smoky flavour. at the end, i poured in a good bed of coals and seared it on either side for about two minutes, which caused the fat to render back and turn translucent.

the end product was an exactly 62c internal, edge-to-edge medium rare; consistent throughout the entire cut, no singular edge overcooked. the smokyness was perfectly balanced, not drawing away from the beef flavour whatsoever. it was juicy enough that when pressed with the side of a knife, it was like a waterfall of juice. as you can see by the latter picture, the tenderness was almost pull-apart yet the entire thing held its form immaculately when i transported it.

i genuinely do understand why people lash out to buy expensive meat like this because the difference really really is noticeable

calling my meat brethren @Santa Key @Chezburger @nexus

im so glad i decided to take this up as a hobby

that looks fat american approved, thumbs up

 

[I'M #1 SO WHY TRY HARDER]

its been more than half a year and im still thinking about this unholy lasagna, it invades my dreams and disturbs me in the most uncomfortable ways

 

[Deleted member 7099]

the end product was an exactly 62c internal, edge-to-edge medium rare; consistent throughout the entire cut, no singular edge overcooked. the smokyness was perfectly balanced, not drawing away from the beef flavour whatsoever. it was juicy enough that when pressed with the side of a knife, it was like a waterfall of juice. as you can see by the latter picture, the tenderness was almost pull-apart yet the entire thing held its form immaculately when i transported it.

when i get money im gonna pay david hayter to read this in big boss's voice

 

[john]

hello gamers, today i have come to share the sacred texts for the best stew known to man, something i have finessed to a tea - something i have perfected through the years, an artform. i refuse to add a picture because the only way to witness this is for yourself.

this is not only a food but my favorite thing on earth
measurements are in retard because i couldnt find any other recipes that weren't completely retarded to edit

goulash stew recipe (mine)
this one for smaller portion, scale appropriately if you're not lonely

top with a spoon of creme fraische once it's in a bowl for that added acidy twang, also get you some garlic bread or toast or literally anything and try dipping it.

 

[Subeh]

hello gamers, today i have come to share the sacred texts for the best stew known to man, something i have finessed to a tea - something i have perfected through the years, an artform. i refuse to add a picture because the only way to witness this is for yourself.

this is not only a food but my favorite thing on earth
measurements are in retard because i couldnt find any other recipes that weren't completely retarded to edit

goulash stew recipe (mine)
this one for smaller portion, scale appropriately if you're not lonely

top with a spoon of creme fraische once it's in a bowl for that added acidy twang, also get you some garlic bread or toast or literally anything and try dipping it.

challenge accepted nexus.

i'll do it tomorrow.

 

[john]

challenge accepted nexus.

i'll do it tomorrow.

coward

 

[Subeh]

coward

shut up sweden

ill do it at some point

 

[Deleted member 3818]

tres leches cake da best cake, change my mind

 

[Trains]

tres leches cake da best cake, change my mind

im sure it tastes nice but it looks like a plate of cake that you've thrown up on

 

[Deleted member 3818]

im sure it tastes nice but it looks like a plate of cake that you've thrown up on

the cream a lil sticky iffy woo wee

 

[Subeh]

BEEN DOIN SOME STEAK COOKIN TODAY BOYS

​

i present to you a two inch thick, high grade ribeye cut by a butcher mate of mine who i've been getting my meat from for a while now; i got the tomahawk from him, too.

cooked in the oven at around 90-100c for an hour and a half and then blasted on a piping hot cast iron pan (the reverse sear method)

managed to get it relatively close to medium rare, it was overcooked a LITTLE but it was still good enough

that reverse sear method is the traditional way of doing it and it 100% provides you with a very, very tender cut of meat at the end that's near edge-to-edge medium rare.

it was seasoned with the typical salt, pepper and garlic mixture, then seared in the pan with a garlic butter baste

overall turned out great, reverse sear method definitely worth it

 

[doomerbloomer]

does chef @Subeh happen to have any tips, tricks and easy to do recipes for a beginner like myself?

 

[Subeh]

does chef @Subeh happen to have any tips, tricks and easy to do recipes for a beginner like myself?

meat-wise? can't go wrong with an old fashioned cheap steak

try to find a cut with a lot of marbling (marbling =/= the fat on the edges; marbling is the little flecks of fat INSIDE the meat), preferably a sirloin/ribeye or just generally a cut that doesn't have connective tissue in the middle of it because connective tissue is not edible in any way shape or form. also try to make sure the cut is fairly thick.

get yourself a cheap meat thermometer while you're at it and do your best to try and cook the meat how you like it. if you've never tried meat medium rare i highly recommend that. at first you'll probably do it on a pan, so don't be aggravated if you fuck it up the first time or there's a 'ring' of overcooked meat around the pink center, that's perfectly normal when you're just pan-frying; later on you can get into stuff like reverse searing, smoking, sous vide, etc.

when you cook it and the temperature is almost where you want it (remember the meat will rise in temperature by 3-6 degrees celcius AFTER it comes off the pan, if you rest it - which you should, for at least 5-10 minutes) throw in some unsalted butter, a few garlic gloves and a sprig of rosemary or thyme, then when the butter melts you can start basting it with a spoon (tilt the pan a little so the butter collects on one side and then spoon the butter onto the meat repeatedly. take it off the pan once it's at the temp u desire, let it rest for at least 5-10 minutes so the juices settle and wont run out when you cut, serve.

other easy meat dishes are stuff like chicken breast, chicken thighs, pork chops, skin-on fish (make SURE you use a non-stick pan for fish), etc.

non-meat dishes? could try potato wedges.

• get 3 large potatoes
• cut potatoes in half
• cut potato halves into 3 wedges each
• dump back into water, wash thoroughly
• tip out water and wash again until the water stops going murky (this gets rid of the starch which helps them crisp up)
• dump potato wedges in bowl
• drizzle in a little bit of olive oil; enough that they all get some on em
• season well with salt, pepper, smoked paprika, garlic powder and mixed herbs of your choice
• mix wedges by hand until they're all coated
• place non-skin-side down on oiled baking tray
• bake in 220c (430f) oven for 15 minutes
• flip to other non-skin-side
• bake for 15 minutes
• flip to skin side
• bake for 15 minutes (or until the colour is to your liking)
• serve with sauce of some kind

now what i REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY recommend is watching the SHIT out of these channels;

Babish Culinary Universe
Sous Vide Everything (extension of Guga Foods)
Guga Foods
Adam Ragusea
The Bearded Butchers
J. Kenji Lopez-Alt
HowToBBQRight
Cowboy Kent Rollins
Food Wishes
BBQ Pit Boys
Best Ever Food Review Show (more educational of other cultures' foods; no real recipes. Good to know though.)
allthingsbbq

all very very very good channels, i learned 99.99% of everything i know from that selection of channels over the last year or two

if i have any strict advice, though;

• be patient
• be ready to fuck up a lot (a year or so of cooking and i fuck up at least once per dish still)
• try things you've never tried before
• don't let the complexity of a dish scare you off
• LISTEN to what those people say; they've been cooking since you were born, they know best - change recipes when you're ready to
• don't be afraid to sink money into it if you're enjoying it
• don't rely on other people's compliments; if YOU like the food, that's all that matters
• cook for yourself first, others later
• DON'T restrict yourself to your own food culture; 95% of what i cook/the methods i use aren't something australians do, ever
• don't listen to @nexus when he tries to make you cook goulash

happy cooking my friend; it's a welcoming world with nothing but rewards for those who embrace it and i love it passionately

also friend me if u want to talk about stuff or need more tips