Hello young fellow. How are you doing at the moment? It appears to me that you are currently displeased with the situation. What is it, that is making your life so difficult at this moment? Is it perhaps caused by the recent roasting of your jeromes that so suddenly occured? I must say that this roasting is undeniably the strongest since the 2000 hoax. Do you have the slightest clue of why this particular roasting of your walters was so powerful? No? Well... I can for sure tell you the currently disclosed reason for this significant event. It was, in fact, ME who caused your displeasement. I can hear you trying to comprehend how is this possible. But, and I'm sure about this, you cannot process what has happened to you because it is far too complex for your understanding. Even God himself cannot fully understand this despicable and devilish work of trickery. It took me a lifetime to fully write out my evil plan and another to understand it. The complexity is even higher than that of a 14-faced dodecahedron. It all starts out with the day of this legendary ruse. The day of rusement so carefully planned and calculated on this exact day. The day where an astronomical constellation appeared that will never occur for another 35 eons. A constellation that has generated a powerful antimatter pool. This antimatter black hole does not only suck in matter, however. This antimatter black hole sucks in the well being of everyone living on this planet. But did you see anyone feel bad today? No? You see, my young fellow, that is because I have perfectly engineered an antimatter pool thats power is focused on you. It took me 15 years to construct this extremely complex lens and I had to combine the power of God with this lens to give it the ultimate focus. But enough with the past. As I'm not some novice ruseman, I have planned
even more, a device of trickery sprinkled with lies and logical fallacies, meant to corrupt you and send you into a pit of despair. With my ruseman insticts, I sensed that you were typing your reply to the displeasing content you have viewed. At the exact moment you pressed the left button on your mouse, clicking send, you unleashed the machine of displeasure and "not well being". A machine that, once started, cannot ever be stopped. Not by anyone. Not even God himself. While your comment rushed through cyberspace you started to feel bad. Something in your brain was screaming but you just didn't listen. It was destiny that you fall for my trickery. You should have thought before you foolishly sent that comment to me. But what heightens the intensity of your mistake is that you unwittingly decided to argue with a MASTER RUSEMAN GRADE 5. I was the leader of an ancient circle of rusemen. By the look on your face, it seems that you are coming to realize who it is you are dealing with. Yes, you have been RUSEDI by me. There were only one RUSEDI experienced by mankind until now. Can you imagine how hard it is to do? There are only two completed RUSEDIS in the last 3 billion years. Now you finally know the unbearable discomfort that you experienced after you got my response. This response, this message, reveals what has happened to you. You, yes you have been rused. You are powerless, you want to scream but you cannot do anything but just sit in a mix of rage and hopelessness. You want to find this man, this ruser, and you want to kill him. But, at the exact moment of thinking, you also realize that you will never ever come close to such a powerful ruseman such as myself. This puts me at a position higher than Hades. You think you can overcome this heavy rustling. You think you can bear such extraordinary rusing, but my devilish plan goes far deeper. Now that you have been rused to infinity, your discomfort rises to a near eternal level of discomfort. In the letter you are currently reading you will realize how hard you have been bamboozled. I will tell you the enchanting tale of my coming, and show you who you are really confronting. I do not know where I am from, but I know that I am the first of my kind. I rused alone but soon people followed. We created a circle called the MASTER RUSEMEN. Only the elite RUSERS could be given admission into such a legion. But after some time I led my own followers, my own CREATIONS, into a tricky situation, much less powerful than the rusing you have just experienced. I named myself MASTER RUSEMAN and made everyone else's jacobs rommle into despair. After they found out what exquisite trickery had taken place, they named me the GOD OF RUSING, a title only a RUSER RUSER could acheive. You never thought that you could have been rused by such a ruseful entity. Somehow you feel honored. Honored to have had you gustavsons jingled by the TRUE MASTER RUSEMAN. The rusement was too strong. Not even time itself could heal the wounds this monumental trickery has caused the Universe. I am, on my part, pretty rustled myself. Even I had my doubts on if I could cause a contrivance this tricky. But I proved I had the power to concieve the most thourough and well-executed RUSEDI. You have been rused by me, THE ONE AND ONLY GOD OF RUSEMEN. Even after 100 years you will remember this day. The day of THE ruse. The day I, THE GOD OF RUSEMEN personally made a statement, to intentionally discomfort YOU. This rusing, yes, this rusing has opened a new chapter in the art of rusing. Your suffering has helped advance my legacy as a ruser. You are now shocked as I seemingly award you for furthering my career. Yet, you have been tricked again. Are you befuddled? Bewildered? Or perhaps you are bamboozled by this perplexing chain of tricks. Either way, this all goes according to my devilish work. My RUSERI has left my mark on your daily life. Everyday you will be reminded of my legendary ruse, and as you try to forget, will be shot with the memory of this event. Aside the banter, you, my young friend, are quite a gullible lad. You have befallen to my elaborate schemes of claiming untruthful statements as truthful. Now, let me ask you, are you disappointed? Are your delanos properly roosevelted? Is your gluteal cleft aching? I am most sure of this fact. If everything has gone according to my devious plan, which it obviously has done so, then my statements should be free of error. I bid you good day, my buddy. Again, you have once again been tricked. I can sense that my antics and varied actions are causing your brain to focus more on your limbal system rather than the entirety of your cerebral cortex, placing much stress with your emotions, causing the desired effect of creating a vexation. Is this rusing getting to you? It appears that your hatred towards my stratagems is growing. But, you have yet to realize that it is not I that has gotten you into this unruly situation, why yes, it was you who has caused yourself a misfortune. Your ignorance has lead you to this series of unfortunate conditions. But, as I am a busy ruseman, and I must continue misleading such fools as yourself, I bid goodbye to you, young fellow. But be warned, for I will return. And when I return, everybody will be reminded of this legendary ruse. SONGS WILL BE WRITTEN ABOUT AND SUNG ON THIS DAY, THIS DAY OF THIS MASTERFUL RUSE, AND I HOLD NO REMORSE OR REGRET FOR I AM AND WILL ALWAYS BE THE GOD OF THE RUSE.
