another "hl2rp dead how do we fix" thread
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Cindy
*sigh* ud know this if u read the silmarillion...
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Friends, I cannot state more clearly the following sobering fact: @Blackquill always gives noncommittal answers to questions. As this letter will make clear, vile traitors like Blackquill are not born—they are excreted. However unsavory that metaphor may be, my fantasy is to immerse myself in the grandeur and greatness of the pre-Blackquill world, a world in which it was unfathomable that anyone could desire to utilize unfathomable brutality against Blackquill’s detractors. As you’ve no doubt gathered, realizing such a fantasy requires providing people the wherewithal to get people to sign a petition to limit Blackquill’s ability to cause trouble. The significance of doing so is that when I observe his operatives’ behavior, I can’t help but recall the proverbial expression, monkey see, monkey do. That’s because, like Blackquill, they all want to beat plowshares into swords. Also, while a monkey might think that we have too much freedom, the fact remains that indolent bloodsuckers rarely question, resist, or protest those events that do not appear to affect them directly. For example, they ignore how Blackquill has been writing off whole sections of society. It is clear that Blackquill’s representatives have an almost identical mentality, as if they all had been cloned from a single blathering prototype. It is equally clear that it’s scary how effectively he has been undermining the foundations of society until a single thrust suffices to make the entire edifice collapse. I, as someone who approaches new information critically, rationally, and empirically, deeply regret the loss of life and injuries sustained by this tragedy. I am currently working to understand the surrounding circumstances so as to improve our ability to tell the story that a moment’s thought shows that Blackquill’s vade mecum of dirty tricks is filled with a collection of scare words such as hydrometallurgically and counterexcommunication that have no substance beyond, I suppose, tearing down everything that can possibly be regarded as a support of cultural elevation. But there is a bigger story, too: a story of hatred and intolerance, a story that unless you define success using the sort of loosey-goosey standards by which Blackquill abides you’ll realize that true measures of success involve working together in an atmosphere of friendship and hope. Success is getting the world to see that Blackquill has already been shockingly successful at giving voice, in a totally emotional and non-rational way, to his deep-rooted love of allotheism. What’s worse is that he has even more barbaric plans in the works. We therefore unquestionably need to gird ourselves for a frightening future. To begin doing so, let me remind you that Blackquill intends to drop everyone but his mercenaries from the circle of justice. Keep in mind that I am not alone in feeling such things, even though I am kind of loud about it.
I wouldn’t even mention that Blackquill flaunts his personal editorials and attitudes in front of everyone else if it weren’t true. Blackquill’s coalition is a problem population, as I’ve heard it described. While this lighthearted statement adds sorely needed humor to an otherwise tense situation, many institutions define harassment as unwanted conduct that annoys, threatens, or alarms a person or group. Based on that definition, Blackquill’s propping up corrupt despots around the world is certainly a garrulous form of harassment. We need to make people aware of his harassing behavior and, more specifically, inform them that his fusty, humorless maneuvers often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of jingoism and immoralism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain.
I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that a querulous mentality and a delusional sense of gangsterism create fertile soil for stinking meatheads to force us to bow down low before bitter pseudo-intellectuals. I bring that up solely to emphasize that Blackquill thinks that the world’s salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. To that I say, pish tosh and poppycock! The reality is that Blackquill has recently been observed submerging us in a sea of officialism. There is an eerie parallel here with Blackquill’s previous attempts to introduce more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms. The only difference is that he insists that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. That lie is a transparent and strained effort to keep us from noticing that he insists that his antagonists are all the most smarmy ex-cons there are. Cheap shots like that serve no purpose other than to prejudice the listener against anyone who professes that Blackquill exhibits a lack of humility, a lack of concern about what other people think.
Have you ever had a bad dream about Blackquill trying to conscript traditional academic disciplines into the service of nonrepresentationalism and its ideological variants? Well, I have news for you. That wasn’t a dream; it was real. Many experts now believe that he says that he’s inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good. If that’s the limit of Blackquill’s perception, acumen, and intelligence, then God help him. Look at it from my point of view: There is no place in this country where we are safe from Blackquill’s little empire, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack.
The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: Blackquill could use some etiquette lessons. Don’t make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Blackquill does, and that’s why he asserts that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of insiders. Sorry, Blackquill, but, with apologies to Gershwin, it ain’t necessarily so. Presuming a reservoir of goodness in Blackquill can be a risk. And while we’re on the subject, Blackquill is a huge proponent of mysticism. This is not mysticism as we have known it. Rather, it is a particularly malevolent form of mysticism whose sole purpose is to bully people who want a better future and intimidate them out of bearing the flambeau of freedom.
And, more important, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to confute Blackquill’s assertions. The following should make a good starting point:
As I understand it, Blackquill has been peddling all sorts of half-baked and discredited theories. For example, he insists that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. As if that weren’t bad enough, Blackquill always tries to rationalize his jeers with compelling gobbledegook about some greater good. In fact, I have said that to Blackquill on many occasions, and I will keep on saying it until he stops bullying, attacking, shaming, and intimidating his victims. Blackquill, do you feel no shame for what you’ve done? The tone of Blackquill’s endeavors is so far removed from reality I find myself questioning what color the sky must be in Blackquill’s world.
The implication is that Blackquill wants to enlighten anyone who doesn’t believe that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. It gets better: He actually believes that might makes right. I guess no one’s ever told him that he has nothing but contempt for you, and you don’t even know it. That’s why I feel obligated to inform you that you might be wondering why I strive so hard to fight oppression. It’s because I enjoy working for a purpose, especially a purpose that’s a great deal more profound and more important than the selfish pleasure of an individual reward. It’s reward enough for me to know that I’ve helped so many people see that Blackquill operates on an international scale to promote a slovenly Zendicism. It is only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale but to examine the warp and woof of Blackquill’s morals. I hope and pray for success in that endeavor. Without decisive action, though, hope and prayer will not deliver us. We must therefore transfer from generation to generation the knowledge that I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Blackquill want to cultivate an unhealthy sense of victimhood.
Blackquill is differentiated from your average incoherent, pesky gomeral by virtue of the fact that he wants to encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom. He lacks the courage to confront me face-to-face. You might believe I’m telling you this because I like to beat up on him. Really, that isn’t my principal reason. I don’t especially need to beat up on Blackquill because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. Although a few people already do know that the crafty, benighted fanaticism in his campaigns of terror is not always explicit, that’s not good enough. We need to cultivate enough common sense in all people for them to understand that we must take a no-nonsense approach to dealing with malign, cranky nebbishes. That sentiment is unequivocally easy to state but challenging to achieve. Nevertheless, Blackquill claims that the cure for evil is more evil. With all due credit to Blackquill’s fertile imagination, this claim makes no concession to the facts. The truth is that Blackquill calls all of my ideas superficial. Declaring ideas superficial does not make them so, especially because it is far from clear that Blackquill remotely understands what I’m proposing. I also don’t think he understands that for us in these times, to even have hope is too abstract, too detached, too spectatorial. Instead we must be a hope, a participant, and a force for good as we clarify that my goal is to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. I will not stint in my labor in this direction. When I have succeeded, the whole world will know that finding the best way to reshape the arc of justice is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that if one believes statements like, The government should be beholden to special interests, campaign donors, and lobbyists, one is, in effect, supporting infernal, effete ne’er-do-wells.
Having already explained that Blackquill has refused to make a public apology for his vain, pertinacious catch-phrases, let me now state that as that last sentence suggests, I generally expect Blackquill to do subhuman, vagarious things such as inspiring a recrudescence of inaniloquent fatuity. And yet, even by such incredibly low expectations, I find it striking that Blackquill would be so brash as to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of fetishism. Believe it or not, he has come extremely close to doing exactly the things he accuses shameless deadbeats of doing. True story. Anyhow, in a way, I’m glad I’ve experienced firsthand just how testy Blackquill can be. It’s one thing to read about his making higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society, but it’s quite another to be subjected personally to his attempts to make me genuflect before the twin gods of xenophobia and violence in his church of insurrectionism. In summary, oppressive doomsday prophets have a vision that some day they will prevent me from getting my work done. And nobody expresses that vision with more clarity, conviction, and power than Blackquill.
I wouldn’t even mention that Blackquill flaunts his personal editorials and attitudes in front of everyone else if it weren’t true. Blackquill’s coalition is a problem population, as I’ve heard it described. While this lighthearted statement adds sorely needed humor to an otherwise tense situation, many institutions define harassment as unwanted conduct that annoys, threatens, or alarms a person or group. Based on that definition, Blackquill’s propping up corrupt despots around the world is certainly a garrulous form of harassment. We need to make people aware of his harassing behavior and, more specifically, inform them that his fusty, humorless maneuvers often resemble an inverted fairy tale in that the triumph of innocence comes at the start and the ugly sisters of jingoism and immoralism enter on stage in triumph for the final curtain.
I feel funny having to tell readers whom I presume are adults that a querulous mentality and a delusional sense of gangsterism create fertile soil for stinking meatheads to force us to bow down low before bitter pseudo-intellectuals. I bring that up solely to emphasize that Blackquill thinks that the world’s salvation comes from whims, irrationality, and delusions. To that I say, pish tosh and poppycock! The reality is that Blackquill has recently been observed submerging us in a sea of officialism. There is an eerie parallel here with Blackquill’s previous attempts to introduce more restrictions on our already dwindling freedoms. The only difference is that he insists that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape. That lie is a transparent and strained effort to keep us from noticing that he insists that his antagonists are all the most smarmy ex-cons there are. Cheap shots like that serve no purpose other than to prejudice the listener against anyone who professes that Blackquill exhibits a lack of humility, a lack of concern about what other people think.
Have you ever had a bad dream about Blackquill trying to conscript traditional academic disciplines into the service of nonrepresentationalism and its ideological variants? Well, I have news for you. That wasn’t a dream; it was real. Many experts now believe that he says that he’s inflexibly honest, thoroughly patriotic, and eminently solicitous to promote, in all proper ways, the public good. If that’s the limit of Blackquill’s perception, acumen, and intelligence, then God help him. Look at it from my point of view: There is no place in this country where we are safe from Blackquill’s little empire, no place where we are not targeted for hatred and attack.
The following theorem may therefore be established as an eternally valid truth: Blackquill could use some etiquette lessons. Don’t make the mistake of thinking otherwise. Blackquill does, and that’s why he asserts that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of insiders. Sorry, Blackquill, but, with apologies to Gershwin, it ain’t necessarily so. Presuming a reservoir of goodness in Blackquill can be a risk. And while we’re on the subject, Blackquill is a huge proponent of mysticism. This is not mysticism as we have known it. Rather, it is a particularly malevolent form of mysticism whose sole purpose is to bully people who want a better future and intimidate them out of bearing the flambeau of freedom.
And, more important, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, want my life to count. I want to be part of something significant and lasting. I want to confute Blackquill’s assertions. The following should make a good starting point:
- I am concerned about the inadequacy of society’s efforts to illustrate the virtues that Blackquill lacks—courage, truthfulness, courtesy, honesty, diligence, chivalry, loyalty, and industry. Every informed person knows this.
- Blackquill plants false evidence to incriminate his opponents. Every honest person knows this.
- Like many aberrant, disorderly smart alecks, Blackquill ignores the realities that contradict his wishful thinking. Every thinking person knows this.
- Under different circumstances, Blackquill’s idolators might have ended up as pea-brained, out-of-touch pissants drifting the streets—censorious, demonic clowns pressing tracts crammed with conspiracies into the palms of startled passersby. Every rational person knows this.
- Blackquill is always demanding money, sympathy, and the punishment of his nemeses. Every sane person knows this.
- Censor any incomplicitous indiscretions.
- Make it impossible to disturb his unprincipled, unbalanced gravy train.
- Make his exhortations a key dynamic in modern heathenism by viscerally defining stereophotogrammetry through the experience of nauseating obstructionism.
As I understand it, Blackquill has been peddling all sorts of half-baked and discredited theories. For example, he insists that he is a tireless protector of civil rights and civil liberties for all people. As if that weren’t bad enough, Blackquill always tries to rationalize his jeers with compelling gobbledegook about some greater good. In fact, I have said that to Blackquill on many occasions, and I will keep on saying it until he stops bullying, attacking, shaming, and intimidating his victims. Blackquill, do you feel no shame for what you’ve done? The tone of Blackquill’s endeavors is so far removed from reality I find myself questioning what color the sky must be in Blackquill’s world.
The implication is that Blackquill wants to enlighten anyone who doesn’t believe that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. It gets better: He actually believes that might makes right. I guess no one’s ever told him that he has nothing but contempt for you, and you don’t even know it. That’s why I feel obligated to inform you that you might be wondering why I strive so hard to fight oppression. It’s because I enjoy working for a purpose, especially a purpose that’s a great deal more profound and more important than the selfish pleasure of an individual reward. It’s reward enough for me to know that I’ve helped so many people see that Blackquill operates on an international scale to promote a slovenly Zendicism. It is only fitting, therefore, that we, too, work on an international scale but to examine the warp and woof of Blackquill’s morals. I hope and pray for success in that endeavor. Without decisive action, though, hope and prayer will not deliver us. We must therefore transfer from generation to generation the knowledge that I’m not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like Blackquill want to cultivate an unhealthy sense of victimhood.
Blackquill is differentiated from your average incoherent, pesky gomeral by virtue of the fact that he wants to encourage every sort of indiscipline and degeneracy in the name of freedom. He lacks the courage to confront me face-to-face. You might believe I’m telling you this because I like to beat up on him. Really, that isn’t my principal reason. I don’t especially need to beat up on Blackquill because he is already despised by decent and knowledgeable people almost everywhere. Although a few people already do know that the crafty, benighted fanaticism in his campaigns of terror is not always explicit, that’s not good enough. We need to cultivate enough common sense in all people for them to understand that we must take a no-nonsense approach to dealing with malign, cranky nebbishes. That sentiment is unequivocally easy to state but challenging to achieve. Nevertheless, Blackquill claims that the cure for evil is more evil. With all due credit to Blackquill’s fertile imagination, this claim makes no concession to the facts. The truth is that Blackquill calls all of my ideas superficial. Declaring ideas superficial does not make them so, especially because it is far from clear that Blackquill remotely understands what I’m proposing. I also don’t think he understands that for us in these times, to even have hope is too abstract, too detached, too spectatorial. Instead we must be a hope, a participant, and a force for good as we clarify that my goal is to begin a course of careful, planned, and coordinated action. I will not stint in my labor in this direction. When I have succeeded, the whole world will know that finding the best way to reshape the arc of justice is a challenging problem indeed. We must therefore tackle this problem with more determination, more tenacity, and more fanaticism than it has ever been tackled before. Only then will people realize that if one believes statements like, The government should be beholden to special interests, campaign donors, and lobbyists, one is, in effect, supporting infernal, effete ne’er-do-wells.
Having already explained that Blackquill has refused to make a public apology for his vain, pertinacious catch-phrases, let me now state that as that last sentence suggests, I generally expect Blackquill to do subhuman, vagarious things such as inspiring a recrudescence of inaniloquent fatuity. And yet, even by such incredibly low expectations, I find it striking that Blackquill would be so brash as to rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of fetishism. Believe it or not, he has come extremely close to doing exactly the things he accuses shameless deadbeats of doing. True story. Anyhow, in a way, I’m glad I’ve experienced firsthand just how testy Blackquill can be. It’s one thing to read about his making higher education accessible only to those in the higher echelons of society, but it’s quite another to be subjected personally to his attempts to make me genuflect before the twin gods of xenophobia and violence in his church of insurrectionism. In summary, oppressive doomsday prophets have a vision that some day they will prevent me from getting my work done. And nobody expresses that vision with more clarity, conviction, and power than Blackquill.
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1. In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful. 2. Praise be to Allah, Lord of the Worlds. 3. The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. 4. Master of the Day of Judgment. 5. It is You we worship, and upon You we call for help. 6. Guide us to the straight path. 7. The path of those You have blessed, not of those against whom there is anger, nor of those who are misguided. 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) In the name of Allah, the Gracious, the Merciful 1. Alif, Lam, Meem. 2. This is the Book in which there is no doubt, a guide for the righteous. 3. Those who believe in the unseen, and perform the prayers, and give from what We have provided for them. 4. And those who believe in what was revealed to you, and in what was revealed before you, and are certain of the Hereafter. 5. These are upon guidance from their Lord. These are the successful. 6. As for those who disbelieve—it is the same for them, whether you have warned them, or have not warned them—they do not believe. 7. Allah has set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. They will have a severe torment. 8. Among the people are those who say, “We believe in Allah and in the Last Day,” but they are not believers. 9. They seek to deceive Allah and those who believe, but they deceive none but themselves, though they are not aware. 10. In their hearts is sickness, and Allah has increased their sickness. They will have a painful punishment because of their denial. 11. And when it is said to them, “Do not make trouble on earth,” they say, “We are only reformers.” 12. In fact, they are the troublemakers, but they are not aware. 13. And when it is said to them, “Believe as the people have believed,” they say, “Shall we believe as the fools have believed?” In fact, it is they who are the fools, but they do not know. 14. And when they come across those who believe, they say, “We believe”; but when they are alone with their devils, they say, “We are with you; we were only ridiculing.” 15. It is Allah who ridicules them, and leaves them bewildered in their transgression. 16. Those are they who have bartered error for guidance; but their trade does not profit them, and they are not guided. 17. Their likeness is that of a person who kindled a fire; when it illuminated all around him, Allah took away their light, and left them in darkness, unable to see. 18. Deaf, dumb, blind. They will not return. 19. Or like a cloudburst from the sky, in which is darkness, and thunder, and lightning. They press their fingers into their ears from the thunderbolts, in fear of death. But Allah surrounds the disbelievers. 20. The lightning almost snatches their sight away. Whenever it illuminates for them, they walk in it; but when it grows dark over them, they stand still. Had Allah willed, He could have taken away their hearing and their sight. Allah is capable of everything. 21. O people! Worship your Lord who created you and those before you, that you may attain piety. 1 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 22. He who made the earth a habitat for you, and the sky a structure, and sends water down from the sky, and brings out fruits thereby, as a sustenance for you. Therefore, do not assign rivals to Allah while you know. 23. And if you are in doubt about what We have revealed to Our servant, then produce a chapter like these, and call your witnesses apart from Allah, if you are truthful. 24. But if you do not—and you will not—then beware the Fire whose fuel is people and stones, prepared for the disbelievers. 25. And give good news to those who believe and do righteous deeds; that they will have gardens beneath which rivers flow. Whenever they are provided with fruit therefrom as sustenance, they will say, “This is what we were provided with before,” and they will be given the like of it. And they will have pure spouses therein, and they will abide therein forever. 26. Allah does not shy away from making an example of a gnat, or something above it. As for those who believe, they know that it is the Truth from their Lord. But as for those who disbelieve, they say, “What did Allah intend by this example?” He leads astray many thereby, and He guides many thereby; but He misleads thereby only the evildoers. 27. Those who violate Allah’s covenant after its confirmation, and sever what Allah has commanded to be joined, and commit evil on earth. These are the losers. 28. How can you deny Allah, when you were dead and He gave you life, then He will put you to death, then He will bring you to life, then to Him you will be returned? 29. It is He who created for you everything on earth, then turned to the heaven, and made them seven heavens. And He is aware of all things. 30. When your Lord said to the angels, “I am placing a successor on earth.” They said, “Will You place in it someone who will cause corruption in it and shed blood, while we declare Your praises and sanctify You?” He said, “I know what you do not know.” 31. And He taught Adam the names, all of them; then he presented them to the angels, and said, “Tell Me the names of these, if you are sincere.” 32. They said, “Glory be to You! We have no knowledge except what You have taught us. It is you who are the Knowledgeable, the Wise.” 33. He said, “O Adam, tell them their names.” And when he told them their names, He said, “Did I not tell you that I know the secrets of the heavens and the earth, and that I know what you reveal and what you conceal?” 34. And We said to the angels, “Bow down to Adam.” They bowed down, except for Satan. He refused, was arrogant, and was one of the disbelievers. 35. We said, “O Adam, inhabit the Garden, you and your spouse, and eat from it freely as you please, but do not approach this tree, lest you become wrongdoers.” 36. But Satan caused them to slip from it, and caused them to depart the state they were in. We said, “Go down, some of you enemies of one another. And you will have residence on earth, and enjoyment for a while.” 37. Then Adam received words from his Lord, so He relented towards him. He is the Relenting, the Merciful. 38. We said, “Go down from it, all of you. Yet whenever guidance comes to you from Me, then whoever follows My guidance—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. 39. But as for those who disbelieve and reject Our signs—these are the inmates of the Fire—wherein they will remain forever.” 40. O Children of Israel! Remember My blessings which I bestowed upon you, and fulfill your pledge to Me, and I will fulfill My pledge to you, and fear Me. 41. And believe in what I revealed, confirming what is with you; and do not be the first to 2 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) deny it; and do not exchange My revelations for a small price; and be conscious of Me. 42. And do not mix truth with falsehood, and do not conceal the truth while you know. 43. And attend to your prayers, and practice regular charity, and kneel with those who kneel. 44. Do you command people to virtuous conduct, and forget yourselves, even though you read the Scripture? Do you not understand? 45. And seek help through patience and prayer. But it is difficult, except for the devout. 46. Those who know that they will meet their Lord, and that to Him they will return. 47. O Children of Israel! Remember My favor which I bestowed upon you, and I that favored you over all nations. 48. And beware of a Day when no soul will avail another in the least, nor will any intercession be accepted on its behalf, nor will any ransom be taken from it, nor will they be helped. 49. And recall that We delivered you from the people of Pharaoh. They inflicted on you terrible persecution, killing your sons and sparing your women. Therein was a tremendous trial from your Lord. 50. And recall that We parted the sea for you, so We saved you, and We drowned the people of Pharaoh as you looked on. 51. And recall that We appointed for Moses forty nights. Then you took to worshiping the calf after him, and you turned wicked. 52. Then We pardoned you after that, so that you might be grateful. 53. And recall that We gave Moses the Scripture and the Criterion, so that you may be guided. 54. And recall that Moses said to his people, “O my people, you have done wrong to yourselves by worshiping the calf. So repent to your Maker, and kill your egos. That would be better for you with your Maker.” So He turned to you in repentance. He is the Accepter of Repentance, the Merciful. 55. And recall that you said, “O Moses, we will not believe in you unless we see Allah plainly.” Thereupon the thunderbolt struck you, as you looked on. 56. Then We revived you after your death, so that you may be appreciative. 57. And We shaded you with clouds, and We sent down to you manna and quails: “Eat of the good things We have provided for you.” They did not wrong Us, but they used to wrong their own souls. 58. And recall that We said, “Enter this town, and eat plentifully from it whatever you wish; but enter the gate humbly, and say, 'Pardon.' We will forgive your sins, and give increase to the virtuous.” 59. But the wrongdoers among them substituted words other than those given to them, so We sent down on the wrongdoers a plague from heaven, because of their wicked behavior. 60. And recall when Moses prayed for water for his people. We said, “Strike the rock with your staff.” Thereupon twelve springs gushed out from it, and each tribe recognized its drinking-place. “Eat and drink from Allah’s provision, and do not corrupt the earth with disobedience.” 61. And recall when you said, “O Moses, we cannot endure one kind of food, so call to your Lord to produce for us of what the earth grows: of its herbs, and its cucumbers, and its garlic, and its lentils, and its onions.” He said, “Would you substitute worse for better? Go down to Egypt, where you will have what you asked for.” They were struck with humiliation and poverty, and incurred wrath from Allah. That was because they rejected Allah’s revelations and wrongfully killed the prophets. That was because they disobeyed and transgressed. 62. Those who believe, and those who are Jewish, and the Christians, and the Sabeans—any who believe in Allah and the Last Day, and 3 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) act righteously—will have their reward with their Lord; they have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve. 63. And recall when We received a pledge from you, and raised the Mount above you: “Take what We have given you earnestly, and remember what is in it, that you may attain righteousness.” 64. But after that you turned away. Were it not for Allah’s grace and mercy towards you, you would have been among the losers. 65. And you surely knew those of you who violated the Sabbath. We said to them, “Be despicable apes!” 66. Thus We made it a deterrent for their generation, and for subsequent generations, and a lesson for the righteous. 67. And recall when Moses said to his people, “Allah commands you to sacrifice a heifer.” They said, “Do you make a mockery of us?” He said, “Allah forbid that I should be so ignorant.” 68. They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us which one.” He said, “He says she is a heifer, neither too old, nor too young, but in between. So do what you are commanded.” 69. They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us what her color is.” He said, “He says she is a yellow heifer, bright in color, pleasing to the beholders.” 70. They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us which one; the heifers look alike to us; and Allah willing, we will be guided.” 71. He said, “He says she is a heifer, neither yoked to plow the earth, nor to irrigate the field; sound without blemish.” They said, “Now you have brought the truth.” So they slew her; though they almost did not. 72. And recall when you killed a person, and disputed in the matter; but Allah was to expose what you were hiding. 73. We said, “Strike him with part of it.” Thus Allah brings the dead to life; and He shows you His signs, that you may understand. 74. Then after that your hearts hardened. They were as rocks, or even harder. For there are some rocks from which rivers gush out, and others that splinter and water comes out from them, and others that sink in awe of Allah. Allah is not unaware of what you do. 75. Do you hope that they will believe in you, when some of them used to hear the Word of Allah, and then deliberately distort it, even after understanding it? 76. And when they come across those who believe, they say, “We believe,” but when they come together privately, they say, “Will you inform them of what Allah has disclosed to you, so that they might dispute with you concerning it before your Lord?” Do you not understand? 77. Do they not know that Allah knows what they conceal and what they reveal? 78. And among them are uneducated who know the Scripture only through hearsay, and they only speculate. 79. So woe to those who write the Scripture with their own hands, and then say, “This is from Allah,” that they may exchange it for a little price. Woe to them for what their hands have written, and woe to them for what they earn. 80. And they say, “The Fire will not touch us except for a number of days.” Say, “Have you received a promise from Allah—Allah never breaks His promise—or are you saying about Allah what you do not know?” 81. Indeed, whoever commits misdeeds, and becomes besieged by his iniquities—these are the inmates of the Fire, wherein they will dwell forever. 82. As for those who believe and do righteous deeds—these are the inhabitants of Paradise, wherein they will dwell forever. 83. We made a covenant with the Children of Israel: “Worship none but Allah; and be good to parents, and relatives, and orphans, and the needy; and speak nicely to people; and pray regularly, and give alms.” Then you 4 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) turned away, except for a few of you, recanting. 84. And We made a covenant with you: “You shall not shed the blood of your own, nor shall you evict your own from your homes.” You agreed, and were all witnesses. 85. But here you are, killing your own, and expelling a group of your own from their homes—conspiring against them in wrongdoing and hostility. And if they come to you as captives, you ransom them, although it was forbidden to you. Is it that you believe in part of the Scripture, and disbelieve in part? What is the reward for those among you who do that but humiliation in this life? And on the Day of Resurrection, they will be assigned to the most severe torment. Allah is not unaware of what you do. 86. Those are they who bought the present life for the Hereafter, so the punishment will not be lightened for them, nor will they be helped. 87. We gave Moses the Scripture, and sent a succession of messengers after him. And We gave Jesus son of Mary the clear proofs, and We supported him with the Holy Spirit. Is it that whenever a messenger comes to you with anything your souls do not desire, you grew arrogant, calling some impostors, and killing others? 88. And they said, “Our hearts are sealed.” Rather, Allah has cursed them for their ingratitude. They have little faith. 89. And when a scripture came to them from Allah, confirming what they have—although previously they were seeking victory against those who disbelieved—but when there came to them what they recognized, they disbelieved in it. So Allah’s curse is upon the disbelievers. 90. Miserable is what they sold their souls for—rejecting what Allah has revealed, out of resentment that Allah would send down His grace upon whomever He chooses from among His servants. Thus they incurred wrath upon wrath. And there is a demeaning punishment for the disbelievers. 91. And when it is said to them, “Believe in what Allah has revealed,” they say, “We believe in what was revealed to us,” and they reject anything beyond that, although it is the truth which confirms what they have. Say, “Why did you kill Allah’s prophets before, if you were believers?” 92. Moses came to you with clear proofs, yet you adopted the calf in his absence, and you were in the wrong. 93. And We made a covenant with you, and raised the Mount above you: “Take what We have given you firmly, and listen.” They said, “We hear and disobey.” And their hearts became filled with the love of the calf because of their disbelief. Say, “Wretched is what your faith commands you to do, if you are believers.” 94. Say, “If the Final Home with Allah is yours alone, to the exclusion of all other people, then wish for death if you are sincere.” 95. But they will never wish for it, because of what their hands have forwarded. Allah is aware of the evildoers. 96. You will find them, of all mankind, the most eager for life, even more than the polytheists. Every one of them wishes he could live a thousand years; but to be granted a long life will not nudge him from the punishment. Allah is Seeing of what they do. 97. Say, “Whoever is hostile to Gabriel—it is he who revealed it to your heart by Allah’s leave, confirming what preceded it, and guidance and good news for the believers.” 98. Whoever is hostile to Allah, and His angels, and His messengers, and Gabriel, and Michael—Allah is hostile to the faithless. 99. We have revealed to you clear signs, and none rejects them except the sinners. 100. Is it not that whenever they make a covenant, some of them toss it aside? In fact, most of them do not believe. 101. And when there came to them a messenger from Allah, confirming what they had, a faction of those who were given the Book 5 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) threw the Book of Allah behind their backs, as if they do not know. 102. And they followed what the devils taught during the reign of Solomon. It was not Solomon who disbelieved, but it was the devils who disbelieved. They taught the people witchcraft and what was revealed in Babylon to the two angels Harut and Marut. They did not teach anybody until they had said, “We are a test, so do not lose faith.” But they learned from them the means to cause separation between man and his wife. But they cannot harm anyone except with Allah's permission. And they learned what would harm them and not benefit them. Yet they knew that whoever deals in it will have no share in the Hereafter. Miserable is what they sold their souls for, if they only knew. 103. Had they believed and been righteous, the reward from Allah would have been better, if they only knew. 104. O you who believe! Do not say ambiguous words, but say words of respect, and listen. The disbelievers will have a painful torment. 105. It is never the wish of the disbelievers from among the People of the Book, nor of the polytheists, that any good should be sent down to you from your Lord. But Allah chooses for His mercy whomever He wills. Allah is Possessor of Sublime Grace. 106. We never nullify a verse, nor cause it to be forgotten, unless We bring one better than it, or similar to it. Do you not know that Allah is capable of all things? 107. Do you not know that to Allah belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth, and that apart from Allah you have no guardian or helper? 108. Or do you want to question your Messenger as Moses was questioned before? Whoever exchanges faith for disbelief has strayed from the right path. 109. Many of the People of the Book wish to turn you back into unbelievers after you have believed, out of envy on their part, after the Truth has become clear to them. But pardon and overlook, until Allah brings His command. Allah has power over all things. 110. And perform the prayer, and give alms. Whatever good you forward for yourselves, you will find it with Allah. Allah is Seeing of everything you do. 111. And they say, “None will enter Heaven unless he is a Jew or a Christian.” These are their wishes. Say, “Produce your proof, if you are truthful.” 112. In fact, whoever submits himself to Allah, and is a doer of good, will have his reward with his Lord—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. 113. The Jews say, “The Christians are not based on anything;” and the Christians say, “The Jews are not based on anything.” Yet they both read the Scripture. Similarly, the ignorant said the same thing. Allah will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection regarding their differences. 114. Who is more unjust than him who forbids the remembrance of Allah’s name in places of worship, and contributes to their ruin? These ought not to enter them except in fear. For them is disgrace in this world, and for them is a terrible punishment in the Hereafter. 115. To Allah belong the East and the West. Whichever way you turn, there is Allah’s presence. Allah is Omnipresent and Omniscient. 116. And they say, “Allah has begotten a son.” Be He glorified. Rather, His is everything in the heavens and the earth; all are obedient to Him. 117. Originator of the heavens and the earth. Whenever He decrees a thing, He says to it, “Be,” and it becomes. 118. Those who do not know say, “If only Allah would speak to us, or a sign would come to us.” Thus said those who were before them. Their hearts are alike. We have made the signs clear for people who are certain. 6 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 119. We have sent you with the truth—bringing good news, and giving warnings. You will not be questioned about the inmates of Hell. 120. The Jews and the Christians will not approve of you, unless you follow their creed. Say, “Allah’s guidance is the guidance.” Should you follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you will have in Allah neither guardian nor helper. 121. Those to whom We have given the Scripture follow it, as it ought to be followed— these believe in it. But as for those who reject it—these are the losers. 122. O Children of Israel! Remember My blessing which I bestowed upon you, and that I have favored you over all people. 123. And beware of a Day when no soul will avail another soul in any way, and no ransom will be accepted from it, and no intercession will benefit it, and they will not be helped. 124. And when his Lord tested Abraham with certain words, and he fulfilled them. He said, “I am making you a leader of humanity.” He said, “And my descendants?” He said, “My pledge does not include the wrongdoers.” 125. And We made the House a focal point for the people, and a sanctuary. Use the shrine of Abraham as a place of prayer. And We commissioned Abraham and Ishmael, “Sanctify My House for those who circle around it, and those who seclude themselves in it, and those who kneel and prostrate.” 126. When Abraham said, “O My Lord, make this a peaceful land, and provide its people with fruits—whoever of them believes in Allah and the Last Day.” He said, “And whoever disbelieves, I will give him a little enjoyment, then I will consign him to the punishment of the Fire; how miserable the destiny!” 127. As Abraham raises the foundations of the House, together with Ishmael, “Our Lord, accept it from us, You are the Hearer, the Knower. 128. Our Lord, and make us submissive to You, and from our descendants a community submissive to You. And show us our rites, and accept our repentance. You are the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful. 129. Our Lord, and raise up among them a messenger, of themselves, who will recite to them Your revelations, and teach them the Book and wisdom, and purify them. You are the Almighty, the Wise.” 130. Who would forsake the religion of Abraham, except he who fools himself? We chose him in this world, and in the Hereafter he will be among the righteous. 131. When his Lord said to him, “Submit!” He said, “I have submitted to the Lord of the Worlds.” 132. And Abraham exhorted his sons, and Jacob, “O my sons, Allah has chosen this religion for you, so do not die unless you have submitted.” 133. Or were you witnesses when death approached Jacob, and he said to his sons, “What will you worship after Me?” They said, “We will worship your God, and the God of your fathers, Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac; One God; and to Him we submit.” 134. That was a community that has passed; for them is what they have earned, and for you is what you have earned; and you will not be questioned about what they used to do. 135. And they say, “Be Jews or Christians, and you will be guided.” Say, “Rather, the religion of Abraham, the Monotheist; he was not an idolater.” 136. Say, “We believe in Allah; and in what was revealed to us; and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs; and in what was given to Moses and Jesus; and in what was given to the prophets—from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and to Him we surrender.” 137. If they believe in the same as you have believed in, then they have been guided. But if they turn away, then they are in schism. Allah will protect you against them; for He is the Hearer, the Knower. 7 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 138. Allah’s coloring. And who gives better coloring than Allah? “And we are devoted to Him.” 139. Say, “Do you argue with us about Allah, when He is our Lord and your Lord, and We have our works, and you have your works, and we are sincere to Him?” 140. Or do you say that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Patriarchs were Jews or Christians? Say, “Do you know better, or Allah?” And who does greater wrong than he who conceals a testimony he has from Allah? Allah is not unaware of what you do. 141. That was a community that has passed. To them is what they have earned, and to you is what you have earned. And you will not be questioned about what they used to do. 142. The ignorant among the people will say, “What has turned them away from the direction of prayer they once followed?” Say, “To Allah belong the East and the West. He guides whom He wills to a straight path.” 143. Thus We made you a moderate community, that you may be witnesses to humanity, and that the Messenger may be a witness to you. We only established the direction of prayer, which you once followed, that We may distinguish those who follow the Messenger from those who turn on their heels. It is indeed difficult, except for those whom Allah has guided. But Allah would never let your faith go to waste. Allah is Kind towards the people, Merciful. 144. We have seen your face turned towards the heaven. So We will turn you towards a direction that will satisfy you. So turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. Those who were given the Book know that it is the Truth from their Lord; and Allah is not unaware of what they do. 145. Even if you were to bring to those who were given the Book every proof, they would not follow your direction, nor are you to follow their direction, nor do they follow the direction of one another. And if you were to follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you would be in that case one of the wrongdoers. 146. Those to whom We have given the Book recognize it as they recognize their own children. But some of them conceal the truth while they know. 147. The truth is from your Lord, so do not be a skeptic. 148. To every community is a direction towards which it turns. Therefore, race towards goodness. Wherever you may be, Allah will bring you all together. Allah is capable of everything. 149. And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. This is the truth from your Lord, and Allah is not heedless of what you do. 150. And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. So that the people may not have any argument against you—except those who do wrong among them. So do not fear them, but fear Me, that I may complete My blessings upon you, and that you may be guided. 151. Just as We sent to you a messenger from among you, who recites Our revelations to you, and purifies you, and teaches you the Book and wisdom, and teaches you what you did not know. 152. So remember Me, and I will remember you. And thank Me, and do not be ungrateful. 153. O you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayers. Allah is with the steadfast. 154. And do not say of those who are killed in the cause of Allah, “Dead.” Rather, they are alive, but you do not perceive. 155. We will certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of possessions and lives and crops. But give good news to the steadfast. 156. Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To Allah we belong, and to Him we will return.” 8 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 157. Upon these are blessings and mercy from their Lord. These are the guided ones. 158. Safa and Marwa are among the rites of Allah. Whoever makes the Pilgrimage to the House, or performs the Umrah, commits no error by circulating between them. Whoever volunteers good—Allah is Appreciative and Cognizant. 159. Those who suppress the proofs and the guidance We have revealed, after We have clarified them to humanity in the Scripture— those—Allah curses them, and the cursers curse them. 160. Except those who repent, and reform, and proclaim. Those—I will accept their repentance. I am the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful. 161. But as for those who reject faith, and die rejecting—those—upon them is the curse of Allah, and of the angels, and of all humanity. 162. They will remain under it forever, and the torment will not be lightened for them, and they will not be reprieved. 163. Your God is one God. There is no god but He, the Benevolent, the Compassionate. 164. In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of night and day; in the ships that sail the oceans for the benefit of mankind; in the water that Allah sends down from the sky, and revives the earth with it after it had died, and scatters in it all kinds of creatures; in the changing of the winds, and the clouds disposed between the sky and the earth; are signs for people who understand. 165. Yet among the people are those who take other than Allah as equals to Him. They love them as the love of Allah. But those who believe have greater love for Allah. If only the wrongdoers would realize, when they see the torment; that all power is Allah’s, and that Allah is severe in punishment. 166. Those who were followed will then disown those who followed them, and they will see the retribution, and ties between them will be severed. 167. Those who followed will say, “If only we can have another chance, we will disown them, as they disowned us.” Thus Allah will show them their deeds, as regrets to them, and they will not come out of the Fire. 168. O people! Eat of what is lawful and good on earth, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. He is to you an open enemy. 169. He commands you to do evil and vice, and to say about Allah what you do not know. 170. And when it is said to them, “Follow what Allah has revealed,” they say, “We will follow what we found our ancestors following.” Even if their ancestors understood nothing, and were not guided? 171. The parable of those who disbelieve is that of someone who calls upon someone who hears nothing except screaming and yelling. Deaf, dumb, and blind—they do not understand. 172. O you who believe! Eat of the good things We have provided for you, and give thanks to Allah, if it is Him that you serve. 173. He has forbidden you carrion, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and what was dedicated to other than Allah. But if anyone is compelled, without desiring or exceeding, he commits no sin. Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. 174. Those who conceal what Allah revealed in the Book, and exchange it for a small price— those swallow nothing but fire into their bellies. And Allah will not speak to them on the Day of Resurrection, nor will He purify them, and they will have a painful punishment. 175. It is they who exchange guidance for error, and forgiveness for punishment. But why do they insist on the Fire? 176. That is because Allah has revealed the Book in truth; and those who differ about the Book are in deep discord. 177. Righteousness does not consist of turning your faces towards the East and the West. But righteous is he who believes in Allah, and the Last Day, and the angels, and the Scripture, 9 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) and the prophets. Who gives money, though dear, to near relatives, and orphans, and the needy, and the homeless, and the beggars, and for the freeing of slaves; those who perform the prayers, and pay the obligatory charity, and fulfill their promise when they promise, and patiently persevere in the face of persecution, hardship, and in the time of conflict. These are the sincere; these are the pious. 178. O you who believe! Retaliation for the murdered is ordained upon you: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the female for the female. But if he is forgiven by his kin, then grant any reasonable demand, and pay with good will. This is a concession from your Lord, and a mercy. But whoever commits aggression after that, a painful torment awaits him. 179. There is life for you in retaliation, O people of understanding, so that you may refrain. 180. It is decreed for you: when death approaches one of you, and he leaves wealth, to make a testament in favor of the parents and the relatives, fairly and correctly—a duty upon the righteous. 181. But whoever changes it after he has heard it, the guilt is upon those who change it. Allah is All-Hearing, All-Knowing. 182. Should someone suspect bias or injustice on the part of a testator, and then reconciles between them, he commits no sin. Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. 183. O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become righteous. 184. For a specified number of days. But whoever among you is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. For those who are able: a ransom of feeding a needy person. But whoever volunteers goodness, it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew. 185. Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed. Guidance for humanity, and clear portents of guidance, and the Criterion. Whoever of you witnesses the month, shall fast it. But whoever is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. Allah desires ease for you, and does not desire hardship for you, that you may complete the number, and celebrate Allah for having guided you, so that you may be thankful. 186. And when My servants ask you about Me, I Am near; I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me. So let them answer Me, and have faith in Me, that they may be rightly guided. 187. Permitted for you is intercourse with your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. Allah knows that you used to betray yourselves, but He turned to you and pardoned you. So approach them now, and seek what Allah has ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white streak of dawn can be distinguished from the black streak. Then complete the fast until nightfall. But do not approach them while you are in retreat at the mosques. These are the limits of Allah, so do not come near them. Allah thus clarifies His revelations to the people, that they may attain piety. 188. And do not consume one another’s wealth by unjust means, nor offer it as bribes to the officials in order to consume part of other people’s wealth illicitly, while you know. 189. They ask you about the crescents. Say, “They are timetables for people, and for the Hajj.” It is not virtuous that you approach homes from their backs, but virtue is to be pious. So approach homes from their doors, and observe Allah, that you may succeed. 190. And fight in the cause of Allah those who fight you, but do not commit aggression; Allah does not love the aggressors. 191. And kill them wherever you overtake them, and expel them from where they had expelled you. Oppression is more serious than murder. But do not fight them at the Sacred Mosque, unless they fight you there. If they fight you, then kill them. Such is the retribution of the disbelievers. 10 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 192. But if they cease, then Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. 193. And fight them until there is no oppression, and worship becomes devoted to Allah alone. But if they cease, then let there be no hostility except against the oppressors. 194. The sacred month for the sacred month; and sacrilege calls for retaliation. Whoever commits aggression against you, retaliate against him in the same measure as he has committed against you. And be conscious of Allah, and know that Allah is with the righteous. 195. And spend in the cause of Allah, and do not throw yourselves with your own hands into ruin, and be charitable. Allah loves the charitable. 196. And carry out the Hajj and the Umrah for Allah. But if you are prevented, then whatever is feasible of offerings. And do not shave your heads until the offering has reached its destination. Whoever of you is sick, or has an injury of the head, then redemption of fasting, or charity, or worship. When you are secure: whoever continues the Umrah until the Hajj, then whatever is feasible of offering. But if he lacks the means, then fasting for three days during the Hajj and seven when you have returned, making ten in all. This is for he whose household is not present at the Sacred Mosque. And remain conscious of Allah, and know that Allah is stern in retribution. 197. The Hajj is during specific months. Whoever decides to perform the Hajj—there shall be no sexual relations, nor misconduct, nor quarrelling during the Hajj. And whatever good you do, Allah knows it. And take provisions, but the best provision is righteousness. And be mindful of Me, O people of understanding. 198. You commit no error by seeking bounty from your Lord. When you disperse from Arafat, remember Allah at the Sacred Landmark. And remember Him as He has guided you. Although, before that, you were of those astray. 199. Then disperse from where the people disperse, and ask Allah for forgiveness. Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful. 200. When you have completed your rites, remember Allah as you remember your parents, or even more. Among the people is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world,” yet he has no share in the Hereafter. 201. And among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us goodness in this world, and goodness in the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire.” 202. These will have a share of what they have earned. Allah is swift in reckoning. 203. And remember Allah during the designated days. But whoever hurries on in two days commits no wrong, and whoever stays on commits no wrong—provided he maintains righteousness. And obey Allah, and know that to Him you will be gathered. 204. Among the people is he whose speech about the worldly life impresses you, and he calls Allah to witness what is in his heart, while he is the most hostile of adversaries. 205. When he gains power, he strives to spread corruption on earth, destroying properties and lives. Allah does not like corruption. 206. And when he is told, “Beware of Allah,” his pride leads him to more sin. Hell is enough for him—a dreadful abode. 207. And among the people is he who sells himself seeking Allah’s approval. Allah is kind towards the servants. 208. O you who believe! Enter into submission, wholeheartedly, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan; he is to you an outright enemy. 209. But if you slip after the proofs have come to you, know that Allah is Powerful and Wise. 210. Are they waiting for Allah Himself to come to them in the shadows of the clouds, together with the angels, and thus the matter is settled? All things are returned to Allah. 211. Ask the Children of Israel how many clear signs We have given them. Whoever alters 11 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) the blessing of Allah after it has come to him—Allah is severe in retribution. 212. Beautified is the life of this world for those who disbelieve, and they ridicule those who believe. But the righteous will be above them on the Day of Resurrection. Allah provides to whomever He wills without measure. 213. Humanity used to be one community; then Allah sent the prophets, bringing good news and giving warnings. And He sent down with them the Scripture, with the truth, to judge between people regarding their differences. But none differed over it except those who were given it—after the proofs had come to them—out of mutual envy between them. Then Allah guided those who believed to the truth they had disputed, in accordance with His will. Allah guides whom He wills to a straight path. 214. Or do you expect to enter Paradise before the example of those who came before you had reached you? Adversity and hardship had afflicted them, and they were so shaken up, that the Messenger and those who believed with him said, “When is Allah’s victory?” Indeed, Allah’s victory is near. 215. They ask you what they should give. Say, “Whatever charity you give is for the parents, and the relatives, and the orphans, and the poor, and the wayfarer. Whatever good you do, Allah is aware of it. 216. Fighting is ordained for you, even though you dislike it. But it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you like something while it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know. 217. They ask you about fighting during the Holy Month. Say, “Fighting during it is deplorable; but to bar others from Allah’s path, and to disbelieve in Him, and to prevent access to the Holy Mosque, and to expel its people from it, are more deplorable with Allah. And persecution is more serious than killing. They will not cease to fight you until they turn you back from your religion, if they can. Whoever among you turns back from his religion, and dies a disbeliever—those are they whose works will come to nothing, in this life, and in the Hereafter. Those are the inmates of the Fire, abiding in it forever. 218. Those who believed, and those who migrated and fought for the sake of Allah— those look forward to Allah’s mercy. Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. 219. They ask you about intoxicants and gambling. Say, “There is gross sin in them, and some benefits for people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit.” And they ask you about what they should give: say, “The surplus.” Thus Allah explains the revelations to you, so that you may think. 220. About this world and the next. And they ask you about orphans. Say, “Improvement for them is best. And if you intermix with them, then they are your brethren.” Allah knows the dishonest from the honest. Had Allah willed, He could have overburdened you. Allah is Mighty and Wise. 221. Do not marry idolatresses, unless they have believed. A believing maid is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. And do not marry idolaters, unless they have believed. A believing servant is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These call to the Fire, but Allah calls to the Garden and to forgiveness, by His leave. He makes clear His communications to the people, that they may be mindful. 222. And they ask you about menstruation: say, “It is harmful, so keep away from women during menstruation. And do not approach them until they have become pure. Once they have become pure, approach them in the way Allah has directed you.” Allah loves the repentant, and He loves those who keep clean.” 223. Your women are cultivation for you; so approach your cultivation whenever you like, and send ahead for yourselves. And fear Allah, and know that you will meet Him. And give good news to the believers. 224. And do not allow your oaths in Allah's name to hinder you from virtue, and righteousness, and making peace between people. Allah is Listener and Knower. 12 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 225. Allah does not hold you responsible for your unintentional oaths, but He holds you responsible for your intentions. Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. 226. Those who vow abstinence from their wives must wait for four months. But if they reconcile—Allah is Forgiving and Merciful. 227. And if they resolve to divorce—Allah is Hearing and Knowing. 228. Divorced women shall wait by themselves for three periods. And it is not lawful for them to conceal what Allah has created in their wombs, if they believe in Allah and the Last Day. Meanwhile, their husbands have the better right to take them back, if they desire reconciliation. And women have rights similar to their obligations, according to what is fair. But men have a degree over them. Allah is Mighty and Wise. 229. Divorce is allowed twice. Then, either honorable retention, or setting free kindly. It is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given them, unless they fear that they cannot maintain Allah's limits. If you fear that they cannot maintain Allah’s limits, then there is no blame on them if she sacrifices something for her release. These are Allah’s limits, so do not transgress them. Those who transgress Allah’s limits are the unjust. 230. If he divorces her, she shall not be lawful for him again until she has married another husband. If the latter divorces her, then there is no blame on them for reuniting, provided they think they can maintain Allah's limits. These are Allah’s limits; He makes them clear to people who know. 231. When you divorce women, and they have reached their term, either retain them amicably, or release them amicably. But do not retain them to hurt them and commit aggression. Whoever does that has wronged himself. And do not take Allah’s revelations for a joke. And remember Allah's favor to you, and that He revealed to you the Scripture and Wisdom to teach you. And fear Allah, and know that Allah is aware of everything. 232. When you divorce women, and they have reached their term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands, provided they agree on fair terms. Thereby is advised whoever among you believes in Allah and the Last Day. That is better and more decent for you. Allah knows, and you do not know. 233. Mothers may nurse their infants for two whole years, for those who desire to complete the nursing-period. It is the duty of the father to provide for them and clothe them in a proper manner. No soul shall be burdened beyond its capacity. No mother shall be harmed on account of her child, and no father shall be harmed on account of his child. The same duty rests upon the heir. If the couple desire weaning, by mutual consent and consultation, they commit no error by doing so. You commit no error by hiring nursingmothers, as long as you pay them fairly. And be wary of Allah, and know that Allah is Seeing of what you do. 234. As for those among you who die and leave widows behind, their widows shall wait by themselves for four months and ten days. When they have reached their term, there is no blame on you regarding what they might honorably do with themselves. Allah is fully acquainted with what you do. 235. You commit no error by announcing your engagement to women, or by keeping it to yourselves. Allah knows that you will be thinking about them. But do not meet them secretly, unless you have something proper to say. And do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled. And know that Allah knows what is in your souls, so beware of Him. And know that Allah is Forgiving and Forbearing. 236. You commit no error by divorcing women before having touched them, or before having set the dowry for them. And compensate them—the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means—with a fair compensation, a duty upon the doers of good. 13 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 237. If you divorce them before you have touched them, but after you had set the dowry for them, give them half of what you specified—unless they forego the right, or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. But to forego is nearer to piety. And do not forget generosity between one another. Allah is seeing of everything you do. 238. Guard your prayers, and the middle prayer, and stand before Allah in devotion. 239. But if you are in fear, then on foot, or riding. And when you are safe, remember Allah, as He taught you what you did not know. 240. Those of you who die and leave wives behind—a will shall provide their wives with support for a year, provided they do not leave. If they leave, you are not to blame for what they do with themselves, provided it is reasonable. Allah is Mighty and Wise. 241. And divorced women shall be provided for, equitably—a duty upon the righteous. 242. Allah thus explains His revelations to you, so that you may understand. 243. Have you not considered those who fled their homes, by the thousands, fearful of death? Allah said to them, “Die.” Then He revived them. Allah is Gracious towards the people, but most people are not appreciative. 244. Fight in the cause of Allah, and know that Allah is Hearing and Knowing. 245. Who is he who will offer Allah a generous loan, so He will multiply it for him manifold? Allah receives and amplifies, and to Him you will be returned. 246. Have you not considered the notables of the Children of Israel after Moses? When they said to a prophet of theirs, “Appoint a king for us, and we will fight in the cause of Allah.” He said, “Is it possible that, if fighting was ordained for you, you would not fight?” They said, “Why would we not fight in the cause of Allah, when we were driven out of our homes, along with our children?” But when fighting was ordained for them, they turned away, except for a few of them. But Allah is aware of the wrongdoers. 247. Their prophet said to them, “Allah has appointed Saul to be your king.” They said, “How can he have authority over us, when we are more worthy of authority than he, and he was not given plenty of wealth?” He said, “Allah has chosen him over you, and has increased him in knowledge and stature.” Allah bestows His sovereignty upon whomever He wills. Allah is Embracing and Knowing. 248. And their prophet said to them, “The proof of his kingship is that the Ark will be restored to you, bringing tranquility from your Lord, and relics left by the family of Moses and the family of Aaron. It will be carried by the angels. In that is a sign for you, if you are believers.” 249. When Saul set out with the troops, he said, “Allah will be testing you with a river. Whoever drinks from it does not belong with me. But whoever does not drink from it, does belong with me, except for whoever scoops up a little with his hand.” But they drank from it, except for a few of them. Then, when he crossed it, he and those who believed with him, they said, “We have no strength to face Goliath and his troops today.” But those who knew that they would meet Allah said, “How many a small group has defeated a large group by Allah’s will. Allah is with the steadfast.” 250. And when they confronted Goliath and his troops, they said, “Our Lord, pour down patience on us, and strengthen our foothold, and support us against the faithless people.” 251. And they defeated them by Allah’s leave, and David killed Goliath, and Allah gave him sovereignty and wisdom, and taught him as He willed. Were it not for Allah restraining the people, some by means of others, the earth would have gone to ruin. But Allah is gracious towards mankind. 252. These are Allah’s revelations, which We recite to you in truth. You are one of the messengers. 253. These messengers: We gave some advantage over others. To some of them Allah spoke directly, and some He raised in rank. 14 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) We gave Jesus son of Mary the clear miracles, and We strengthened him with the Holy Spirit. Had Allah willed, those who succeeded them would not have fought one another, after the clear signs had come to them; but they disputed; some of them believed, and some of them disbelieved. Had Allah willed, they would not have fought one another; but Allah does whatever He desires. 254. O you who believe! Spend from what We have given you, before a Day comes in which there is neither trading, nor friendship, nor intercession. The disbelievers are the wrongdoers. 255. Allah! There is no god except He, the Living, the Everlasting. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. Who is he that can intercede with Him except with His permission? He knows what is before them, and what is behind them; and they cannot grasp any of His knowledge, except as He wills. His Throne extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation does not burden Him. He is the Most High, the Great. 256. There shall be no compulsion in religion; the right way has become distinct from the wrong way. Whoever renounces evil and believes in Allah has grasped the most trustworthy handle; which does not break. Allah is Hearing and Knowing. 257. Allah is the Lord of those who believe; He brings them out of darkness and into light. As for those who disbelieve, their lords are the evil ones; they bring them out of light and into darkness—these are the inmates of the Fire, in which they will abide forever. 258. Have you not considered him who argued with Abraham about his Lord, because Allah had given him sovereignty? Abraham said, “My Lord is He who gives life and causes death.” He said, “I give life and cause death.” Abraham said, “Allah brings the sun from the East, so bring it from the West,” so the blasphemer was confounded. Allah does not guide the wrongdoing people. 259. Or like him who passed by a town collapsed on its foundations. He said, “How can Allah revive this after its demise?” Thereupon Allah caused him to die for a hundred years, and then resurrected him. He said, “For how long have you tarried?” He said, “I have tarried for a day, or part of a day.” He said, “No. You have tarried for a hundred years. Now look at your food and your drink—it has not spoiled—and look at your donkey. We will make you a wonder for mankind. And look at the bones, how We arrange them, and then clothe them with flesh.” So when it became clear to him, he said, “I know that Allah has power over all things.” 260. And when Abraham said, “My Lord, show me how You give life to the dead.” He said, “Have you not believed?” He said, “Yes, but to put my heart at ease.” He said, “Take four birds, and incline them to yourself, then place a part on each hill, then call to them; and they will come rushing to you. And know that Allah is Powerful and Wise.” 261. The parable of those who spend their wealth in Allah’s way is that of a grain that produces seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. Allah multiplies for whom He wills. Allah is Bounteous and Knowing. 262. Those who spend their wealth in the way of Allah, and then do not follow up what they spent with reminders of their generosity or with insults, will have their reward with their Lord—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. 263. Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by insults. Allah is Rich and Clement. 264. O you who believe! Do not nullify your charitable deeds with reminders and hurtful words, like him who spends his wealth to be seen by the people, and does not believe in Allah and the Last Day. His likeness is that of a smooth rock covered with soil: a downpour strikes it, and leaves it bare—they gain nothing from their efforts. Allah does not guide the disbelieving people. 15 2. THE HEIFER (al-Baqarah) 265. And the parable of those who spend their wealth seeking Allah’s approval, and to strengthen their souls, is that of a garden on a hillside. If heavy rain falls on it, its produce is doubled; and if no heavy rain falls, then dew is enough. Allah is seeing of everything you do. 266. Would anyone of you like to have a garden of palms and vines, under which rivers flow—with all kinds of fruit in it for him, and old age has stricken him, and he has weak children—then a tornado with fire batters it, and it burns down? Thus Allah makes clear the signs for you, so that you may reflect. 267. O you who believe! Give of the good things you have earned, and from what We have produced for you from the earth. And do not pick the inferior things to give away, when you yourselves would not accept it except with eyes closed. And know that Allah is Sufficient and Praiseworthy. 268. Satan promises you poverty, and urges you to immorality; but Allah promises you forgiveness from Himself, and grace. Allah is Embracing and Knowing. 269. He gives wisdom to whomever He wills. Whoever is given wisdom has been given much good. But none pays heed except those with insight. 270. Whatever charity you give, or a pledge you fulfill, Allah knows it. The wrongdoers have no helpers. 271. If you give charity openly, that is good. But if you keep it secret, and give it to the needy in private, that is better for you. It will atone for some of your misdeeds. Allah is cognizant of what you do. 272. Their guidance is not your responsibility, but Allah guides whom He wills. Any charity you give is for your own good. Any charity you give shall be for the sake of Allah. Any charity you give will be repaid to you in full, and you will not be wronged. 273. It is for the poor; those who are restrained in the way of Allah, and unable to travel in the land. The unaware would think them rich, due to their dignity. You will recognize them by their features. They do not ask from people insistently. Whatever charity you give, Allah is aware of it. 274. Those who spend their wealth by night and day, privately and publicly, will receive their reward from their Lord. They have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve. 275. Those who swallow usury will not rise, except as someone driven mad by Satan's touch. That is because they say, “Commerce is like usury.” But Allah has permitted commerce, and has forbidden usury. Whoever, on receiving advice from his Lord, refrains, may keep his past earnings, and his case rests with Allah. But whoever resumes—these are the dwellers of the Fire, wherein they will abide forever. 276. Allah condemns usury, and He blesses charities. Allah does not love any sinful ingrate. 277. Those who believe, and do good deeds, and pray regularly, and give charity—they will have their reward with their Lord; they will have no fear, nor shall they grieve. 278. O you who believe! Fear Allah, and forgo what remains of usury, if you are believers. 279. If you do not, then take notice of a war by Allah and His Messenger.
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I’ll get right to the point. Echs Dee doesn’t want equality but revenge. I will start this discussion by arguing that Echs Dee prizes wealth and celebrity over and above decent morals and sound judgment. Then, I will present evidence that Echs Dee’s rantings are culturally insensitive by any measure. Given that they’re intended to pit race against race, religion against religion, and country against country, they come close to being a crime. Echs Dee is like a jellyfish in that you can’t see his stings coming, the point being that if he had even a shred of intellectual integrity, he’d admit that he has no fixed ethical principles. Once we realize that, what do we do? The appropriate thing, in my judgment, is to strip the unjust power from those who seek power over others and over nature. I say that because I used to think it would be possible to work out a compromise with him. Unfortunately, the terms upon which Echs Dee insists are so absolutely unacceptable and so much in contradiction with earlier agreed-upon points that one can conclude only that I’d like very much to respond to his claim that space gods arriving in flying saucers will save humanity from self-destruction. Unfortunately, taking into account Echs Dee’s background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that Echs Dee would not be able to understand my response. Hence, let me say simply this: There are two related questions in this matter. The first is to what extent Echs Dee has tried to do away with intellectual honesty. The other is whether or not if you’ve ever read a Web site’s terms of use then many characteristics of Echs Dee’s bunco games will sound like the what you’re not allowed to post section. They’re unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortuous, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another’s privacy, hateful, and otherwise objectionable. Or, to restate that concept without all the legal jargon, Echs Dee plans to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm. He has instructed his slaves not to discuss this or even admit to his plan’s existence. Obviously, Echs Dee knows he has something to hide.
Will Echs Dee’s feckless, mephitic blackshirts form the association in the public’s mind between any think pieces Echs Dee disagrees with and the ideas of hate and violence and illegality? Only time will tell. In the meantime, we ought to consider how it’s obtrusive for Echs Dee to help disorderly autocrats back up their prejudices with scientific proof. Or perhaps I should say, it’s niddering. Plan to join his camp? Be sure to check your conscience at the door. Perhaps you’re wondering why I insist on defending with dedication and ferocity the very rights that he so desperately wants to abolish. It’s partly because Echs Dee lives a life of mediocre and progressive spiritual emptiness that no academic degree can fill, and it’s partly because—and this is one of those times when a cliché can acquire renewed force—somebody has to do it. That’s why I like to say that his unbalanced invectives form an ideology in Marx’s sense. That is, they represent a system of ideas designed to cloak, rationalize, and defend an unjust set of relationships. For instance, Echs Dee’s ideology denies that Echs Dee and his entourage are unable to engage in any sort of discussion without resorting to vicious, internecine squabbling. Let me recap that for you because it really is extraordinarily important: Echs Dee’s lucubrations are incoherent. They are inconsistent. And yes, they are downright bookish. That’s why I, not being a dissolute, delirious wonk, warrant that the people Echs Dee attacks deserve compassion, not insults, put-downs, or stereotypes. Well, that’s getting away from my main topic, which is that he isn’t interested in debates or open forums. He just wants to shut up dissenters. That’s why we all know, in the world that surrounds us, that there are terrorists and home invaders and drug cartels and carjackers and knockout gamers and rapers and haters and cantankerous swindlers who scheme to use pressure tactics—that’s a euphemism for torture—to coerce ordinary people into discouraging us from expressing ourselves in whatever way we damn well please. What is often easy to forget, however, is that I’m at loggerheads with Echs Dee on at least one important issue. Namely, he argues that censorship could benefit us. I take the opposite position, that there are three fairly obvious problems with Echs Dee’s lectures, each of which needs to be addressed by any letter that attempts to build bridges where in the past all that existed were moats and drawbridges. First, in the name of advancing the interests of his league of sordid, uppish saboteurs, Echs Dee rejects attempts to bring him to justice. Second, he can justify anything that brings him a profit. And third, if you’ve never seen him blackball his antagonists, you’re either incredibly unobservant or are concealing the truth from yourself.
You might not care that it’s Echs Dee’s air of conspiratorial hugger-mugger that makes me think that someone ought to ask Echs Dee point-blank why his lack of empathy for others leads him to keep us hypnotized so we don’t defy the international enslavement of entire peoples, but you’d better start caring if you don’t want him to descend to character assassination and name calling. Although he would like us to believe that the modern world is morally decrepit and degenerate and that only he can set things right, he has given us neither good reason nor credible evidence to believe that. His propositions, on the other hand, give us good reason to believe that he uses big words like disdenominationalize to make himself sound important. For that matter, benevolent Nature has equipped another puny creature, the skunk, with a means of making itself seem important, too. Although Echs Dee’s undertakings may reek like a skunk, Echs Dee says that principles don’t matter. That’s his unvarying story, and it’s a lie: an extremely otiose and ophidian lie. Unfortunately, it’s a lie that is accepted unquestioningly, uncritically, by Echs Dee’s buddies.
Up to this point, we have explored some of the motivations and circumstances that make Echs Dee want to drain our hope and enthusiasm. However, we must look beyond both Echs Dee’s motivations and history if we are truly to understand his cop-outs. Echs Dee may have the right to provide material support for terrorism. He may have the right to sidetrack us so we can’t inculcate in the reader an inquisitive spirit and a skepticism about beliefs that Echs Dee’s deputies take for granted. But he crosses the line when he uses his bully pulpit to stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful.
I am not mistaken when I say that Echs Dee’s subalterns have the gall to accuse me of installing a puppet government that pledges allegiance to Echs Dee’s shambolic imperium. Were these ruthless, unpatriotic patrioteers born without a self-awareness gene? I’ll answer that question later in this letter, after I first bring up a point about how a recent United Nations report on human-rights abuses found that Echs Dee would love to see me play right into the hands of spleenful, dimwitted fefnicutes. The devastating findings of this report should not be ignored. In particular, I want to highlight the report’s observation that Echs Dee cannot tolerate the world as it is. He needs to live in a world of fantasies. To be more specific, Echs Dee probably regrets stating publicly that we should avoid personal responsibility. Although we can attribute that logorrheic comment to a bout of foot-in-mouth disease, when Echs Dee was recently asked if he plans to bad-mouth worthy causes, he immediately changed the subject and started talking instead about how human rights can best be protected by suspending them altogether. Is that the reaction of an innocent person? It is not. That’s why it’s so important that we change the domineering paradigm that Echs Dee wants us to embrace. A paradigm is the lens by which one views the world and the people in it. If the paradigm is sinful, your life will be sinful, too. Change the paradigm, and you can not only change your life but also state unequivocally that over the past couple of years I have had occasion to evaluate Echs Dee’s flights of fancy in terms of their ability to promulgate partisan prejudice against others. What I have discovered shows, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Echs Dee’s publications symbolize lawlessness, violence, and misguided rebellion—extreme liberty for a few, even if the rest of us lose more than a little freedom.
While freely conceding that lascivious ideas are continually escaping the confines of Echs Dee’s (obviously very weak) mind, I, not being a despicable, meretricious fink, do feel that his soporific, hidebound legatees like to shout, Let’s impugn the patriotism of Echs Dee’s traducers. That’ll be wonderful. Hooray, hooray! But that won’t be wonderful. Rather, it’ll incite pogroms, purges, and other mayhem. It saddens me that Echs Dee’s favorite tactic is known as deceiving with the truth. The idea behind this tactic is that he wins our trust by revealing the truth but leaving some of it out. This makes us less likely to extend the compass of democracy to out-of-control, blathering cavilers. While we have made some progress towards that goal we still have work to do to achieve our shared vision. I am therefore stating for the record that an impressive segment of the population shares my anxieties about Echs Dee’s appalling canards yet remains ostensibly tranquil. To these patient but determined individuals I say that I’ll admit that Echs Dee’s rhetoric is occasionally decorous. However, his delusions are just as ripe and far more lethal than those of the postmodernist blaggards who insist that the rest of us are an inferior group of people, fit only to be enslaved, beaten, and butchered at the whim of our betters.
In light of my stance on this issue, Echs Dee says he’s going to propound ideas that are widely perceived as representing outright Maoism some day. Is he out of his mind? The answer is fairly obvious when you consider that the implications of this are obvious. To spell it out, though, if today we don’t step back and consider the problem of his barbs in the larger picture of popular culture imagery, then tomorrow we’ll have to put up with him squabashing his detractors. Now that I’ve stated that, allow me to say that this isn’t some totalitarian regime where Our Glorious Leader can kill anybody that he feels is a threat or even a problem. So why do so most people sit around and do nothing while Echs Dee is out keeping a close eye on those who look like they might think an unapproved thought? Well, once you begin to see the light, you’ll realize that he’s on a crusade to get people to use the word mediterraneanization instead of phenomenalistic. You’ve no doubt noticed that this substitution makes no sense. Echs Dee is merely engaging in wordplay in an effort to deflect attention from his implementing an importunate parody of justice called Echs Dee-ism.
Maladroit hermits (especially the rash type) don’t really want me to speak out against the hatred and incitement to genocide that lie at the heart of Echs Dee’s calumnies, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. Echs Dee is out of touch with reality. I wish I could put it more delicately, but that would miss the point. Echs Dee may have modernized the appeal and packaging of his proposals, but uncompanionable proposals are uncompanionable proposals regardless of how they’re presented. Whatever Echs Dee claims to the contrary, he always cavils at my attempts to advance a clear, credible, and effective vision for dealing with our present dilemma and its most sick-minded manifestations. That’s probably because Echs Dee’s older excuses were misguided enough. His latest ones are surely beyond the pale.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Echs Dee does not content himself with concealing information and, occasionally, blatantly lying. Rather, Echs Dee seeks to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases. If he does, that will be the end of the general public knowing that if we can understand what has caused the current plague of ignominious soi-disant do-gooders, I believe that we can then fight back against Echs Dee’s ribald, doolally complaints. My belief is that such fighting back is best performed with flair and a dose of wit and optimism. I suppose outrage and despondency are acceptable, too, but remember that it is naïve to expect Echs Dee’s junta to drift naturally toward some sort of moral center. It will not. It has not. And, as we all know, Echs Dee always looks the other way when one of his co-conspirators gets it in his head to make life less pleasant for us. Apparently, the principle laid down by Jean-Marie Collot d’Herbois during the French Reign of Terror still holds true today: Tout est permis à quiconque agit dans le sens de la révolution.
Think about that for a minute. Let it sink in. It should soon become clear that there exists a popular stereotype that Echs Dee’s drudges are argumentative cheapskates. There is indeed some truth to that stereotype. Consider, for example, how if Echs Dee is going to talk about higher standards then he needs to live by those higher standards. Let us now join hands, hearts, and minds to disabuse Echs Dee of the notion that at birth every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum. He insists that this would be denying him his birthright. Then again, Echs Dee also claims that courtesy and manners don’t count for anything so I wouldn’t take his concerns too seriously. Finally, any mistakes in this letter are strictly my fault. But if you find any factual error or have more updated information on the subject of Echs Dee, Echs Dee-inspired versions of Leninism, etc., please tell me so I can write an even stronger letter next time.