Dwarf Fortress

[AmyCat]

Anyone want to share stories of despair- I mean... triumph?

Lately, I have been training my fortress army on a zombie badger's head. The head is unable to die, and unable to attack my dwarfs. This is useful other than my dwarfs fainting from overexertion as they endlessly beat on the invincible head...

 

[Dalekfodder]

Anyone want to share stories of despair- I mean... triumph?

Lately, I have been training my fortress army on a zombie badger's head. The head is unable to die, and unable to attack my dwarfs. This is useful other than my dwarfs fainting from overexertion as they endlessly beat on the invincible head...

A game of a delicate balance

 

[AmyCat]

i loved that game very much but never figured out how to fucking play it

The whole part of learning the game is to loose over and over. My first fortress I thought it would be a good idea to build it inside of a frozen lake. Then summer came... and that is how I learnt not to build things out of ice.

 

[scrubmcnoob]

My dwarf went insane right outside the door to hell and ran in, he didn't close it. Next thing I see is a shit load of monsters rushing up my levels. Never forget the dwarfs.

 

[AmyCat]

My dwarf went insane right outside the door to hell and ran in, he didn't close it. Next thing I see is a shit load of monsters rushing up my levels. Never forget the dwarfs.

Shh! You mean the door to the circus where the clowns live! :3

 

[scrubmcnoob]

Shh! You mean the door to the circus where the clowns live! :3

The rocks in hell are ridiculous. Literally tried hauling up a few slabs and my dwarf was just fucking crushed. Forgot they weighed ten tons a pebble.

 

[Gr4Ss]

Ah, liked this game. Just for some reason never seem to be able to get a decent military together (the one time I thought I did they got horribly slaughtered by a few goblins) and always think of a better layout for my fort so I start over.

 

[AmyCat]

The rocks in hell are ridiculous. Literally tried hauling up a few slabs and my dwarf was just fucking crushed. Forgot they weighed ten tons a pebble.

I wondered why one of my dwarf children was walking 1 tile per 10 seconds. I click on his inventory screen to see he's trying to haul 20 silver goblets to the Inn.

 

[scrubmcnoob]

I wondered why one of my dwarf children was walking 1 tile per 10 seconds. I click on his inventory screen to see he's trying to haul 20 silver goblets to the Inn.

I once had to use only children for mining cause all the men were fighting a monster invasion, child labor proved to be very efficient use for those shits.

 

[AmyCat]

I once had to use only children for mining cause all the men were fighting a monster invasion, child labor proved to be very efficient use for those shits.

Children are monsters! I was watching a streamer play and one of his dwarf children kept punching a giraffe in the head, beat it to death.

 

[scrubmcnoob]

Children are monsters! I was watching a streamer play and one of his dwarf children kept punching a giraffe in the head, beat it to death.

Children who are deviants I always try to kill off. Those shits always start dark rituals and fuck a ton of people.
Children are shit in this game.

 

[AmyCat]

Children who are deviants I always try to kill off. Those shits always start dark rituals and fuck a ton of people.
Children are shit in this game.

Keep them in cages until they're old enough to draft into the military.

 

[scrubmcnoob]

Keep them in cages until they're old enough to draft into the military.

If you keep them busy in the mines 24/7, they don't get time to be shitlers and actually pay off for the food they eat.
I would just outsource for elf manpower so I wouldn't have to deal with children in the first place.

 

[A_cRaZeD_hObO]

People have done some special shit with this game. This guy built a turing machine in a normal fort, just 'cuz. There's also another person who released all his findings on the best way to effectively traumatize young dwarfs to turn them into killing machines (it was something like, 1x1 room with nowhere to move, drop really nice food from a hatch above, and have a lot of dogs in the 1x1 tile so they are contantly biting him, to bring up his stats as well as make him feel no emotion).

A classic read for dwarf fortress legacy forts is Boatmurdered. Basically, a bunch of people on the forums decided to play a single fortress, passing it to the next person every so often. The place they settled is an arctic hellhole, with skeleton elephants and shit always attacking. It's some godly reading.

 

[AmyCat]

People have done some special shit with this game. This guy built a turing machine in a normal fort, just 'cuz. There's also another person who released all his findings on the best way to effectively traumatize young dwarfs to turn them into killing machines (it was something like, 1x1 room with nowhere to move, drop really nice food from a hatch above, and have a lot of dogs in the 1x1 tile so they are contantly biting him, to bring up his stats as well as make him feel no emotion).

A classic read for dwarf fortress legacy forts is Boatmurdered. Basically, a bunch of people on the forums decided to play a single fortress, passing it to the next person every so often. The place they settled is an arctic hellhole, with skeleton elephants and shit always attacking. It's some godly reading.

I've read Boatmurdered, it's great!

Also... that computer looks amazing... even more when the thought that he would have to deal with the every day issues of dwarfs and goblin attacks. I'd love to see a tantrum dwarf go nuts inside of the switch room though x3

 

[swagile]

I had the greatest time in Dwarf Fortress when one of my dwarf children suddenly started to mass adopt every wild animal in the fortress. I had like twenty wild cats that I didn't want to kill off because they killed all the shitty mice and suddenly they are "owned" by one dwarf child.

I thought that was the end of it but we suddenly got attacked by a vampire and suddenly I see a huge amount of cat sprites surround the vampire. My attack logs read (insert name here) has attacked the Vampire! x20 at least twenty times.

Ten cats died in the first few seconds but the vampire ended up being bitten to death. I made sure to mass breed the cats that lived and created battle cats as each successive generation was stronger than the last and the child that "adopted" them ended up being my beast master.

I ended up losing that fortress because I was so focused on my beast army that I neglected all my other dwarves except my beast master himself and he died off in a last stand against a goblin raid.

Keep in mind this was (and still is) when I only knew the barest of basics and a few special tricks and tips.