[GIVEAWAY] zak 4th of july 'murican hospitality

[Zak]

hey it's everyone's favorite xenophiliac ex-developer here with some more sick fuckin memes

I've got two gift copies of Worms: Revolution and two gift copies of Borderlands 2. Follow the guidelines and I'll pick my top four. First two get their choice of game, and the remaining two get what's left.

1. rate this post nebula
2. make any type of media featuring me so i can boost my ego
3. post said media here

the media can be a video, image, shitty art, good art, memes, fanfiction, whatever the fuck you wanna do

I'll pick my four favorites on 7/7

 

[slick]

no.

 

[Zomba]

no.

 

[Ond]

i mean you could just give me the game

 

[ruben slikk]

me too

 

[Zak]

yeah but i can't stroke my e-peen if i don't make people do shit for me

 

[Twar]

Can I just send you some rude images including aliens


I'll get that on my history for a game

 

[Zak]

as long as it features me in some aspect

 

[Zak]

okay because i like spending money there's also now two copies of borderlands 2 up

 

[Bork]

 

[Zak]

cheeky

 

[*honk honk*]

same

 

[Silly Pillow]

Love me for my MSPaint skills not for my dick

 

[Pict]

 

[Maytree]

There's the story of zak, I always cum into his profile pic every day, I log in into a new browser just to see female elite porn and sending them to zak, he's my fucking senpai, I if someone fucking hates them I'll put them into a slaughterhouse and rip their fucking ballsack.

Than he came into my apartment block, I told him to sit on a couch to watch TV than I chloroform him, I put him into my bedroom and shove his snaky alien dick into my loose ass. Few hours later of alien oragy, I put him outside to set him free, I later see him wake up and started calling out for the police. And that moment that my life is complete.

While the police come knocking into my door, I hang myself while in a cold smile, and that's my story.

 

[wired]

​

The air was stagnant in the dark concrete room as several masked figures huddled around a camera. Voices in Arabic shouted violently at each other while the clammering of weapons and gear rustled in the background. The room was dimly lit by a bulb hanging freely from the ceiling, while illuminating a bound man on the floor with a execution hood draped over his head. A man shouted in Arabic and pulled the prisoner by his hair up to his knees, aiming him towards the camera at the centre of the room.

The video feed lit up, connecting to two televisions at the other end of the bunker. The feed depicted a bearded middle eastern man clothed in a balaclava and Kevlar tactical vest holding a blade in front of an imprisoned man, the ISIS flag was draped across the concrete wall in the background. The masked figure nodded to another man, who walked over to the camera and pressed the record button.

“For too long, your western values have plagued our lands. The time has come for all infidels to meet the unrelenting force of Allah. If our demands are not met, more will perish, as this man will perish tonight. To view our demands video, check the link in the description. Please like and subscribe.”

The masked man nodded to the camera and lowered his blade to the prisoner’s throat. In one quick motion, he dug his blade into the throat of the prisoner, tearing the flesh from his neck. Blood poured from the wound down onto the prisoner's jacket. After several seconds, the masked man held the severed head in front of the lens of the camera.

"This is what happens to those who oppose the will of the Islamic State."

The masked man motioned to the cameraman to cut the feed.

"So, Kashmid, how did I do? Is my hair okay?"

"Uh... Ahmad, we have a problem. The camera says we did not get any of that. We will have to do a second take."

"Are you fucking serious?! How am I going to do a second take? Do you not see what I did to him, brother?"

"Alright, alright. Call that faggot from I.T and see what he can do."

Ahmad leaned over to the intercom system on the wall and pressed the buzzer.

"Zaqmad, we need you in bunker nine, camera problems."

Harsh static could be heard on the other line, until a voice replied.

"Uh. Again?... How many times do I have to tell you. My name is Zak, you fucking cucks!"

Footsteps could be heard approaching the bunker, getting louder and louder, accompanied by the incoherent mumblings from a near autistic child. There was a knock at the steel door in the corner of the room. Ahmad motioned for Kashmid to allow entry. As the door was opened, a scrawny pale child rushed in, angrily murmuring to himself. He stunk of stale memes.

"How am I ever supposed to finish rp_cityone_south at this rate! You two jerks should realise I'm in the middle of crucial work for my roleplay community. Now, what did you fuck up this time that needs the delicate touch of a professional dev?"

Ahmad and Kashmid muffled their laughter and pointed towards the camera on the tripod. Zak nodded and stepped over the decapitated corpse on the concrete floor, just missing the growing pool of blood.

"So Zaqmad, did we lose the video?"

"No, Kashmid, luckily I'm always one step ahead of you. I've set your camera to upload to the cloud whenever it's finished recording something."

Zak raised his laptop and closed several trap porn tabs on incognito windows before opening the cloud viewer.

"You see, it's right here. Now why don't you call Toasty to edit it for you."

Both militants dropped to their knees as they bowed to the superior dev overlord.

"We will surely talk to toasqumad about editing the video. After, you can upload it to Nebulous. Oh, one more thing. Me and Ahmad were going to the animal brothel to have some fun, care to join?"

"No thanks, shitlords. Memes are my only reward."

Zak then turned on his heels and walked out the door, strutting with the confident step of a mapper.

THE END?



​

edit: Happy 4th of July Americanos!!! Maybe Canadians will leave our British overlords soon.

 

[Ond]

​

The air was stagnant in the dark concrete room as several masked figures huddled around a camera. Voices in Arabic shouted violently at each other while the clammering of weapons and gear rustled in the background. The room was dimly lit by a bulb hanging freely from the ceiling, while illuminating a bound man on the floor with a execution hood draped over his head. A man shouted in Arabic and pulled the prisoner by his hair up to his knees, aiming him towards the camera at the centre of the room. The video feed lit up, connecting to two televisions at the other end of the bunker. The feed depicted a bearded middle eastern man clothed in a balaclava and Kevlar tactical vest holding a blade in front of an imprisoned man, the ISIS flag was draped across the concrete wall in the background. The masked figure nodded to another man, who walked over to the camera and pressed the record button.

“For too long, your western values have plagued our lands. The time has come for all infidels to meet the unrelenting force of Allah. If our demands are not met, more will perish, as this man will perish tonight. To view our demands video, check the link in the description. Please like and subscribe.”

The masked man nodded to the camera and lowered his blade to the prisoner’s throat. In one quick motion, he dug his blade into the throat of the prisoner, tearing the flesh from his neck. Blood poured from the wound down onto the prisoner's jacket. After several seconds, the masked man held the severed head in front of the lens of the camera.

"This is what happens to those who oppose the will of the Islamic State."

The masked man motioned to the cameraman to cut the feed.

"So, Kashmid, how did I do? Is my hair okay?"

"Uh... Ahmad, we have a problem. The camera says we did not get any of that. We will have to do a second take."

"Are you fucking serious?! How am I going to do a second take? Do you not see what I did to him, brother?"

"Alright, alright. Call that faggot from I.T and see what he can do."

Ahmad leaned over to the intercom system on the wall and pressed the buzzer.

"Zaqmad, we need you in bunker nine, camera problems."

Harsh static could be heard on the other line, until a voice replied.

"Uh. Again?... How many times do I have to tell you. My name is Zak, you fucking cucks!"

Footsteps could be heard approaching the bunker, getting louder and louder, accompanied by the incoherent mumblings from a near autistic child. There was a knock at the steel door in the corner of the room. Ahmad motioned for Kashmid to allow entry. As the door was open, a scrawny pale child rushed in, angrily murmuring to himself. He stunk of stale memes.

"How am I ever supposed to finish rp_cityone_south at this rate! You two jerks should realise I'm in the middle of crucial work for my roleplay community. Now, what did you fuck up this time that needs the delicate touch of a professional dev?"

Ahmad and Kashmid muffled their laughter and pointed towards the camera on the tripod. Zak nodded and stepped over the decapitated corpse on the concrete floor, just missing the growing pool of blood.

"So Zaqmad, did we lose the video?"

"No, Kashmid, luckily I'm always one step ahead of you. I've set your camera to upload the the cloud whenever it's finished recording something."

Zak raised his laptop and closed several trap porn tabs on incognito windows before opening the cloud viewer.

"You see, it's right here. Now why don't you call Toasty to edit it for you."

Both militants dropped to their knees as they bowed to the superior dev overlord.

"We will surely talk to toasqumad about editing the video. After, you can upload it to Nebulous. Oh, one more thing. Me and Ahmad were going to the brothel to have some fun, care to join"

"No thanks, shitlords. Memes are my only reward."

Zak then turned on his heels and walked out the door.

THE END?​

winrar

 

[external]

 

[eldeos]

free games?

 

[Chromesthesia_]

snake gun the movie trailer