In 2016, Hideo Kojima approached Konami, soon after their departure following the cancelation of Silent Hills, with the idea for a new video game series and spiritual successor to Metal Gear Solid. He called it 'OPERATION: PSYCHO KILLER by TALKING HEADS (2005 Remaster) Provided to YouTube by Rhino/Warner Records', a subtle reference to the song Psycho Killer by the band Talking Heads. What you're about to read is a translation of a recording from the pitch.
_______________________________________________
A Hideo Kojima Production
Directed by Hideo Kojima
Written by Hideo Kojima
Produced by Hideo Kojima
Created by Kojima Productions
Illustrated by Daisuke Ishiwatari
Music by Some Homeless Guy But He's Pretty Darn Good At Hitting Empty Paint Buckets With Wooden Spoons
1:19AM, July 8th, 1984
_______________________________________________
A Hideo Kojima Production
Directed by Hideo Kojima
Written by Hideo Kojima
Produced by Hideo Kojima
Created by Kojima Productions
Illustrated by Daisuke Ishiwatari
Music by Some Homeless Guy But He's Pretty Darn Good At Hitting Empty Paint Buckets With Wooden Spoons
1:19AM, July 8th, 1984
Enter out protagonist. Half-Japanese, half-American, half-Cambodian I guess, Metallica Davidbowie. He's a muscular young man with an impressive six-pack of abs and pecs as large and firm as pure rock, and arms thicker than a tree stump, and a round, chiseled, incredibly defined ass. Hey uh Hideo buddy do we need to keep this par His special ability? It's an incredibly advanced martial art system created by his mentor Mychemical Romance known simply as Judojujutsukarateaikidosystemataekwondomuaythai, or JJKASTMT for short. He can best any man or trained assassin in combat with only his bare hands, some oil, and a tight thong. What And while I'm thinking tight thongs and, uh, of squeezing into tight spaces, Metallica Davidbowie's a master of stealth infiltration. On his first ever mission, Operation Space Oddity Man Who Sold The World Starman, he managed to sneak into the Pentagon to steal their secret muscle serum of which could make any scrawny nobody into a gachimuchi superstar.
Now, our antagonist...
Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover. A man with a deep history involving Metallica Davidbowie. The two were very very VERY very veryveryvery close FRIENDS and nothing other than friends okay listen sometimes they wrestled in saunas (naked BUT wearing towels around their wastes) and Kojima-san? and they liked hang out a lot in nothing but their underpants in the middle of the night and pillow fight Kojima you don't need tbut they were ONLY FRIENDS and nothing more or less. Okay?! I'm no-... He's not gay. They're not, okay maybe Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover can be gay but NOT Metallica Davidb... uh- uh- okay ignore that, erhhhuuhhhh they go way back, you see.. Ehem, mrghh..
Until on one cold Alaskan night, while Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover and Metallica Davidbowie were cuddling by the fireplace, a hit squad sent by the Red Army (THEY STILL EXISTED DURING 1984 IN THIS UNIVERSE) bursted down the doors and hailed gunfire through the cabin. The wooden walls and antique furniture weren't the only things riddled with holes as there laid the corpse of Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover. Metallica Davidbowie made swift work of the Russian hitmen with clever use of judojujutsukarateaikidosystemataekwondomuaythai, putting one in a light rare naked choke, making sure to keep the soldier in his lap for the sake of control. Of course, man squirmed for the full 10 minutes it took for him to blow out like a light, but Metallica Davidbowie was satisfied... oh-oh-uh, and he stood over the corpse of his FRIEND ((I'M NOT KIDDING)) with tears streaming down his strong cheekbones and masculine jaw. He carried Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycash through the heavy snow beating down his pillowy, yet still stiff and rock-solid pecs. Luckily, Tokyo Hospital was just a mile away, but unfortunately... it was too late.
His body was stolen by the black ops division of an organization known as The Patriots OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Okay, okay, settle down Mr. Kozuki... as I was saying... the black ops division was known as Foxhound. and with the body they operated for weeks on end, using an experimental prosthetic systems which could heal organs, even the heart and brain. Soon, Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover rose from his supposed "death" bed, scarred and malformed except for his... SIMPLY PERFECT male physique, now reborn with a new grizzled look. His pecs now sprinkled with gashes and stiches. As a result of the surgery it is now impossible for Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover is perpetually erect. WAIT WHAT His penis never flacid nor his nipples, constantly rock hard, bound to bulge through any tight tank top. WHAT IS HE SAYING The only catch is the brainwashing. The Patriots Ohh, this is just... jesus. planted a chip in his brain during his surgery, replacing all his fond FRIENDLY!!! ... Memories of Metallica Davidbowie with pure hatred as, you see, he was previously a member of Foxhound before betraying the Pariots. Now, Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover acts as the Partiot's puppet.
Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover. A man with a deep history involving Metallica Davidbowie. The two were very very VERY very veryveryvery close FRIENDS and nothing other than friends okay listen sometimes they wrestled in saunas (naked BUT wearing towels around their wastes) and Kojima-san? and they liked hang out a lot in nothing but their underpants in the middle of the night and pillow fight Kojima you don't need tbut they were ONLY FRIENDS and nothing more or less. Okay?! I'm no-... He's not gay. They're not, okay maybe Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover can be gay but NOT Metallica Davidb... uh- uh- okay ignore that, erhhhuuhhhh they go way back, you see.. Ehem, mrghh..
Until on one cold Alaskan night, while Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover and Metallica Davidbowie were cuddling by the fireplace, a hit squad sent by the Red Army (THEY STILL EXISTED DURING 1984 IN THIS UNIVERSE) bursted down the doors and hailed gunfire through the cabin. The wooden walls and antique furniture weren't the only things riddled with holes as there laid the corpse of Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover. Metallica Davidbowie made swift work of the Russian hitmen with clever use of judojujutsukarateaikidosystemataekwondomuaythai, putting one in a light rare naked choke, making sure to keep the soldier in his lap for the sake of control. Of course, man squirmed for the full 10 minutes it took for him to blow out like a light, but Metallica Davidbowie was satisfied... oh-oh-uh, and he stood over the corpse of his FRIEND ((I'M NOT KIDDING)) with tears streaming down his strong cheekbones and masculine jaw. He carried Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycash through the heavy snow beating down his pillowy, yet still stiff and rock-solid pecs. Luckily, Tokyo Hospital was just a mile away, but unfortunately... it was too late.
His body was stolen by the black ops division of an organization known as The Patriots OH YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! Okay, okay, settle down Mr. Kozuki... as I was saying... the black ops division was known as Foxhound. and with the body they operated for weeks on end, using an experimental prosthetic systems which could heal organs, even the heart and brain. Soon, Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover rose from his supposed "death" bed, scarred and malformed except for his... SIMPLY PERFECT male physique, now reborn with a new grizzled look. His pecs now sprinkled with gashes and stiches. As a result of the surgery it is now impossible for Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover is perpetually erect. WAIT WHAT His penis never flacid nor his nipples, constantly rock hard, bound to bulge through any tight tank top. WHAT IS HE SAYING The only catch is the brainwashing. The Patriots Ohh, this is just... jesus. planted a chip in his brain during his surgery, replacing all his fond FRIENDLY!!! ... Memories of Metallica Davidbowie with pure hatred as, you see, he was previously a member of Foxhound before betraying the Pariots. Now, Aboynamedsue Hurtbynineinchnailsjohnnycashcover acts as the Partiot's puppet.
Now... how about we get into game design... wait who cut the mic. Hey... HEY! Why're you all leaving, c'mahh, gimme a chance, you guys! ... Guys? C'mah... wait, wait, don't lock the door, I don't have a key-BANG! Oh, crud.. How am I gonna... BANGBANGBANGBANG HEY!!! SOMEONE, TEH-TEH-THERE'S B-BEEN A MISTAKE! I, I, I DON'T HAVE A... key! ... Well, shit.
_______________________________________________
They rejected him on the spot. KojiPro canned the whole project immediately. Now, Konami hangs these fliers around their offices and have since filed a restraining order against Kojima.
_______________________________________________
They rejected him on the spot. KojiPro canned the whole project immediately. Now, Konami hangs these fliers around their offices and have since filed a restraining order against Kojima.
Reactions:
List
