Our tale begins in a terrible place known as LP. A young Finlay, alone in the city found comfort in a ration jar (What we used to serve our rations inside prior to ration packs). It was upon the walkways above the Plaza did he commit an atrocious act. The act? Using the jar to contain his characters semen, to which brought horror to the people below and forever marked the child Finlay as "the ration jar wanker"