So fair warning, below is some venting about some of my problems relating to my gender identity so just ignore all this if you dont wanna see it and if you're a happy person and would like to stay that way
Im not gonna lie, it was really easy for me to come out as a trans girl to my friends but its becoming more and more apparent to me that for some reason, alot of people online seem to feel threatened by my existence (and the existence of others like me) even though I have no bearing on their lives and will probably never meet them. Most of the time im fine but occasionally Ill get the old sock in the face or some online harassment but Ive mostly come to ignore it. They keep sending me the same dumbass arguments like the 40% one and the "you're not a real woman, its just phase" and its fucking annoying. They dont know me or my friends at all yet they try to tell me that everyone around me hates me when they dont. When I talk about how I contemplate suicide they automatically assume that its the generic "trans person kills themselves because nobody likes them" or whatever it is when in reality Im just so existentially miserable that I dont know what to do after college. Im tired of constantly getting the "Your parents probably hate you for bring trans" when my dad does hate me but he at least has the respect to refer to me as a woman when he gets mad. I hate how these people online have to assume how my life is like based off of a vocal minority of a minority group. Then on the other side of the scale theres the "allies" which are your generic quirky white bitches that try tell me how to live, act and think. They think all lgbtq people need to live up to specific standards and stereotypes of what we should be when I dont want to be like that. They think that im not a real trans person for saying that I dont enjoy politics and that i just want to stay out of politics. They get mad when I say Im not really a fan of communism and they get mad when I say I dont wanna get bottom surgery because the risks are too damn high for me to think "yeah this is a good idea."
that's just edgy humor that's everywhere on the internet. gender identity is a really easy target to make retarded jokes for small brains
anyway something happened to me kind of recently, pre-covid though. I had a friend come out as trans that I was friends with for a long while a few years ago. it started off fine, I really dont care what you identify as ill just say what you want me to call you yknow. their entire personality shifted though, they got hyper sexual and so awkward to even start a conversation with. I put up with it, didnt talk to them as much whatever. stopped talking for a good while until they eventually came back around to say whats up. kinda rebuilt the friendship until one day on their public twitter they started posting videos of them jacking off wearing a diaper. if they had it on an onlyfans or something where I couldn't see it i'd probably be alright, but since I was subject to that absolute nuke on my eyes I broke contact with them.
I personally dont want to be someone that associates with another person that pretends to be a baby, builds cribs and play areas in their room then records them shitting in their diaper for twitter. they took that as I hate trans people, kept their porn twitter private but then made their own personal venting twitter and tried to tell all of my closer friends that I was transphobic over it. whole thing was really stupid and easily explainable but they have me blocked on their twitter. they occasionally posted about me on their public one so im sure they're still venting about it to this day. obviously I don't have anything against trans people but if you want me to see your weird fetish or some shit maybe ask if I like people shitting in diapers first. last I heard from them they dropped out of college and had a twitter breakdown, started a just for fans page and had some discord grooming allegations - basically turned into one of those people that posts public porn, says that minors shouldnt follow them on twitter and doesn't really regulate anything beyond that while being heavy into age-play
it didnt really affect me mentally or anything,
maybe at the time since I knew them for a few years but ultimately being a gmod roleplayer nothing really surprises anymore