A much needed apology

[MaelRadecs]

I've decided to take my leave from the community and I'd like to begin with that this isn't a post to get pity or anything from any of you.

If you've known me for awhile you're well aware of my frequent usage of the teamspeak server. I tend to sit in there for a good majority of my time on server or even off server playing other games.

But I've been horrible.

Possibly to you, possibly to your friends, but considering we're all a community this apology needs to be addressed to the community.

I've been so caught up in myself and my words over these past few months that I've been actively shittalking people behind their back, in a joking manner (basically passing it off as banter), without anyway for them to respond to me, because they weren't present or aware of me doing it. Sometimes I was so unaware of my words or what I was saying that I was doing this without even remembering that I'm doing it. Yeah, it's that bad.

I have an issue with this, it's not how I used to act ever and whatever has happened, I attribute to me genuinely being a fucking douchebag. I know others shit talk, I know others are rude and we bounce off that in chat, but it didn't make it excusable for me to do it. Not once, not ever.

It's even worse because when other people got joked about, I'd stand up for them and then not five minutes later, there I am joking about someone else who I hardly even know beyond a video game.

I want to believe I can be better than this, I do believe I can improve myself, and ultimately it starts by moving past these mistakes and admitting my wrongs to all of you. I know this post won't fix things, but if I didn't do this, I'd forever be stuck at step one.

If I've wronged you throughout my time here or you feel that way about me, I'd like to personally apologize to you.

Know that you all are way beyond my words if I ever insulted you or shit talked you. You deserve so much better than a mere apology, and as ingenuine as that can seem coming from me, I mean it to myself and I hope I can show you that I mean it to you as well someday.

Thanks for everything, guys.

 

[florek]

How cool of you to follow me just when I left as well..

Never had any qualms with you bud, I think you're a good guy. Best of luck with whatever it is you'll pursue from here on out and happy trails in the path of self improvement.

 

[Zulu]

but....

seriously though, good luck with shit man, I've had some of my best experiences with you on neb.

Hope you come back soon.

 

[bigdaddyman413]

Hope you return to us soon, gamer, I got some real good experiences out of RP with you, even if it was only a few moments and we hardly knew one another.

 

[Pollux]

Nooo :(

 

['77 East]

Goodbye, old friend.

 

[PilotBland]

gotta return to trash the trash talkers

take care

 

[Ond]

Strange to throw the towel once you realized the problem, but it's your choice

 

[MaelRadecs]

Strange to throw the towel once you realized the problem, but it's your choice

I was so caught up in my own shit that I didn't notice it (what I'd said this past time around) and continuously asked for what I could have possibly done wrong until I got a clip of my own voice, saying everything I did.

I never realized that I sounded like that, that I said those things like that or spoke like that about others until it got repeated to me, word for word in my own voice.

I don't really know what to make of that, but the teamspeak environment really fucked me up and I blame myself for that, entirely. There's no excuse for what I've said or done on there and I don't expect people to be friendly with me or pity me after this.

 

[walgreens]

rip. pourin one out...

 

[jerry]

I've decided to take my leave from the community and I'd like to begin with that this isn't a post to get pity or anything from any of you.

If you've known me for awhile you're well aware of my frequent usage of the teamspeak server. I tend to sit in there for a good majority of my time on server or even off server playing other games.

But I've been horrible.

Possibly to you, possibly to your friends, but considering we're all a community this apology needs to be addressed to the community.

I've been so caught up in myself and my words over these past few months that I've been actively shittalking people behind their back, in a joking manner, without anyway for them to respond to me, because they weren't present or aware of me doing it. Sometimes I was so unaware of my words or what I was saying that I was doing this without even remembering that I'm doing it. Yeah, it's that bad.

I have an issue with this, it's not how I used to act ever and whatever has happened, I attribute to me genuinely being a fucking douchebag. I know others shit talk, I know others are rude and we bounce off that in chat, but it didn't make it excusable for me to do it. Not once, not ever.

It's even worse because when other people got joked about, I'd stand up for them and then not five minutes later, there I am joking about someone else who I hardly even know beyond a video game.

I want to believe I can be better than this, I do believe I can improve myself, and ultimately it starts by moving past these mistakes and admitting my wrongs to all of you. I know this post won't fix things, but if I didn't do this, I'd forever be stuck at step one.

If I've wronged you throughout my time here or you feel that way about me, I'd like to personally apologize to you.

Know that you all are way beyond my words if I ever insulted you or shit talked you. You deserve so much better than a mere apology, and as ingenuine as that can seem coming from me, I mean it to myself and I hope I can show you that I mean it to you as well someday.

Thanks for everything, guys.

take care dude, i understand the whole shit with the military and whatever but you're still a good guy to talk and play vidya with; if you ever want to return, you're more then welcome.

 

[420Alex]

Sometimes it's good to step back. Take care and have a good one

 

[jerry]

unironically tearing up over someone i barely knew and only played video games with but its needed

 

[Ond]

I was so caught up in my own shit that I didn't notice it (what I'd said this past time around) and continuously asked for what I could have possibly done wrong until I got a clip of my own voice, saying everything I did.

I never realized that I sounded like that, that I said those things like that or spoke like that about others until it got repeated to me, word for word in my own voice.

I don't really know what to make of that, but the teamspeak environment really fucked me up and I blame myself for that, entirely. There's no excuse for what I've said or done on there and I don't expect people to be friendly with me or pity me after this.

I think you think that people genuinely care enough to get upset or shaken

If you like playing just don't go on teamspeak, it's cancerous anyways lol

 

[MaelRadecs]

I think you think that people genuinely care enough to get upset or shaken

If you like playing just don't go on teamspeak, it's cancerous anyways lol

I feel you man, part of me will always want to come back and talk to friends and I won't say never but I've got six months of training coming up for the military. Wouldn't be able to stick around regardless but I'll give it time and see whatever happens.

 

[Rabid]

I'll miss you Mael!

But I echo @Ond; I can guarantee nobody cares in that regard and it would be a genuine shame for you to throw in the towel perma over something everyone does.

You've been a fantastic Vort lead and have done some amazing events. You never coming back over something like this would suck. TS and Rp has always been a terrible duo.

 

[Señor Jaggles]

We'll be waiting here when you want to return, but it'd be best if you didn't leave. Qualms or not, I'm sure nobody or nearly nobody wants you out more than, say, they want me out, so you're safe there bud. Regardless of whatever we may or may have not had in the past, I've been pissed way too much by some people in the community I don't really think I would keep any real grudge with some minor stuff that I may not even remember.

Best of luck to you dude, but it's honestly sad to see you go. You're a good guy, and we all make silly mistakes and fight over stupid stuff then the next day we're all jolly and good, don't sweat it really.

 

[Powley]

Own what you did wrong and apologise, don't make the mistake of doing it again else I'll actually make fun of you for years on end

Don't be a pussy bitch and quit now, right your wrongs

 

[Mike65536]

Have a good one Mael. I've enjoyed fucking around with you on TS. Been some of my best memories with neb. I await your (Hopeful) return someday.

 

[Trains]

you were cool to have around, thanks for being an antlion guard for me in joes son

good luck in the army too bro


teamspeak is a shit environment honestly