dee pixel's coronavirus post-prologue review:
wewie thas a good game
now i'll admit, i had a lot of reservations about this game prior to playing it. when i first heard about it, i was unrealistically hyped like many of my peers. but as the months went by and the release date approached, my hype was tempered by delays, reality checks and subtle insights into the game's development cycle. for a while i was worried that it would be terrible, that all the excitement would amount to a waste of $60 and a quiet fart of a video game whose only memorable quality would be the ability to design the contours of your avatar's genitals.
but thankfully, that wasn't the case.
i went in subtly expecting a tacky, bug-addled mess of seizure lights and shallow anti-corporatism ironically built off worker abuse. i was instead met with a compelling, authentic glimpse into an absurd ancap wasteland where you can pack blades into your arms and play fight club with keanu reeves (also built off worker abuse). the dialogue and memorable characters combined with a setting that dripped with atmosphere drew me in like nothing before. it's been a while since a video game was able to instill such awe in me with its storytelling.
some highlights:
now to be fair, my standards for game mechanics are basically in the fucking dirt. like, i got way more enjoyment out of vanilla skyrim than i should have. that's how low my standards are. and i can see where the gameplay is shoddy and why its would trouble some. combat can be confusing. npcs sometimes flicker into the nth dimension. there can be awkward pauses in dialogue when the game frantically tries to find its dm notes so it can figure out where the fuck the next objective marker should go. animations are awkward, pedestrians randomly cower for no reason, the prologue is a bit gratuitous with the cutscenes. it certainly has its fair share of bugs and annoying designs, but they don't shake my own enjoyment of the game.
all in all, i felt it was a well written foray into a criminally underappreciated franchise crafted by talented, dedicated people who should sue and/or crucify their bosses for forcing them to crunch. fuck the suits, we are just as guilty for buying this glimmering piece of forced labor as they are for larping corpo in real life. thank you.
edit: also the customization was a little weak but it's primarily a first person game. plus i'd rather have 10 preset faces that look like faces and not a bunch of sliders that control the tone and width of your character's play-doh cheekbones (looking at you, bethesda. all those fucks in the capital wasteland look like they were birthed from the same sister-mom)
wewie thas a good game
now i'll admit, i had a lot of reservations about this game prior to playing it. when i first heard about it, i was unrealistically hyped like many of my peers. but as the months went by and the release date approached, my hype was tempered by delays, reality checks and subtle insights into the game's development cycle. for a while i was worried that it would be terrible, that all the excitement would amount to a waste of $60 and a quiet fart of a video game whose only memorable quality would be the ability to design the contours of your avatar's genitals.
but thankfully, that wasn't the case.
i went in subtly expecting a tacky, bug-addled mess of seizure lights and shallow anti-corporatism ironically built off worker abuse. i was instead met with a compelling, authentic glimpse into an absurd ancap wasteland where you can pack blades into your arms and play fight club with keanu reeves (also built off worker abuse). the dialogue and memorable characters combined with a setting that dripped with atmosphere drew me in like nothing before. it's been a while since a video game was able to instill such awe in me with its storytelling.
some highlights:
adam smasher's first on screen appearance during evelyn's braindance was terrifying. he creeps me out everytime he's on screen but that first encounter was so incredibly intimidating that i actually dreaded the potential of encountering him later on. fucker has a presence.
the confrontation between the elder arasaka and his son and the former's subsequent death by his child's hands were so tense i forgot i wasn't just watching a film play out
the deaths of jackie and t-bug genuinely upset me because they were set up to be your loyal friends and crewmates and instead died avoidably and unceremoniously
the first silverhands memory weren't at all tedious, but felt like retreading the steps of a legend
now to be fair, my standards for game mechanics are basically in the fucking dirt. like, i got way more enjoyment out of vanilla skyrim than i should have. that's how low my standards are. and i can see where the gameplay is shoddy and why its would trouble some. combat can be confusing. npcs sometimes flicker into the nth dimension. there can be awkward pauses in dialogue when the game frantically tries to find its dm notes so it can figure out where the fuck the next objective marker should go. animations are awkward, pedestrians randomly cower for no reason, the prologue is a bit gratuitous with the cutscenes. it certainly has its fair share of bugs and annoying designs, but they don't shake my own enjoyment of the game.
all in all, i felt it was a well written foray into a criminally underappreciated franchise crafted by talented, dedicated people who should sue and/or crucify their bosses for forcing them to crunch. fuck the suits, we are just as guilty for buying this glimmering piece of forced labor as they are for larping corpo in real life. thank you.
edit: also the customization was a little weak but it's primarily a first person game. plus i'd rather have 10 preset faces that look like faces and not a bunch of sliders that control the tone and width of your character's play-doh cheekbones (looking at you, bethesda. all those fucks in the capital wasteland look like they were birthed from the same sister-mom)
Last edited:
Reactions:
List
