Serious Nebulous Culinary Thread.

[Rabid]

Had some chewing gum because I couldn’t be bothered to make anything

bone apple teeth

 

[Ond]

had a cup of black coffee

 

[Zappericus]

Dried whitefish (LUTEFISK) with diced bacon, potatoes, pea stew, brown cheese, sour cream and mustard.

Scandie pride. City 9 will become relevant. Eat my whole ass.

 

[Roman Loaded]

would people appreciate it if i posted a couple of my home recipes for random meals that're piss easy to make?

like shit that tastes good, costs less than a tenner for ingredients and can be made in sub 40 mins with the right technique?

living by myself and having a full time job for a year has taught me a lot and i know that shit's hard so i wanna teach people some hacks but only if y'all really need 'em.

 

[Roman Loaded]

@afran_ nebbed so here's the first one.

romeo's spaghetti marinara meatball especial

u will need

3 tins of plum tomatoes
1 whole mf carrot (and pref some vegetable stock too)
half a mf red onion
3-4 cloves of mf garlic, your dumbass can play it by eye alone
one teeny pinch of brown sugar (4 da honey dips)
some tomato paste
vinegario balsamico
cayenne pepper
basil, chopped fine as fuck and pref fresh but da 50p shit in a bag ain't problematic either
some meatballs, idc if you make your own or get em store bought, i'm an autist though so i make my own with egg, beef mince and a little salt pepper and garlic powder
(if you're an autist and can't cook beef properly, try cutting some bacon up into numerous small pieces and substitute that for the meatballs)
final ingredients you'll need are olive oil, a few bay leaves (i'm blessed to have a bay tree in my back garden) and some salt n pepper for da seasonin

cut everything fine (except the carrot and the meatballs ((obviously not the meatballs retard)), skin that mf carrot and cut it in half)

put in onions, bay leaves, sugar in some hot olive oil (use a lot of oil, but obviously don't fill the whole pot), while they simmer add a sprinkle of salt and peppah

after this add da garlic, basil and da meatballs, let them all mingle, if the meatballs break down a bit don't scream and cry, you'll be okay.

when the meatballs are nice and spicy, blend up all your tamata'z, with a bit of veggie stock and da carrot (i take this FROM the veggie stock like a pro gamer)

go back to da pot once this is all blended, add some tomata paste, balsamic vinegar and stir a bit, before adding the blended solutionerio

cook on a low heat stovetop for 30-50 mins till slightly reduced (consistent, fully cooked thru, slightly evaporated water content, but make sure it doesn't go too far cause you'll get some ashy sauce and if you want that porco dio molto benne saucerino then you know you gotta have da moisture) , season for taste with cayenne pepper as it boils (if u are a caucasiarinio or just don't like spicy food, then don't do this, you will hurt yourself, if you are insane, like me, then live a little)

boil some pasta of your choice from about the 30 min mark, i personally like linguine or fusili, but if you're a sociopath you can have something else.

et voila, plate carefully and keep the rest for like the next 3 days not having to worry about dinner because you have some mamma mia vafanculo pasta to eat like the NEET you are xoxoxoo.

​

 

[Señor Jaggles]

@afran_ nebbed so here's the first one.

romeo's spaghetti marinara meatball especial

u will need

3 tins of plum tomatoes
1 whole mf carrot (and pref some vegetable stock too)
half a mf red onion
3-4 cloves of mf garlic, your dumbass can play it by eye alone
one teeny pinch of brown sugar (4 da honey dips)
some tomato paste
vinegario balsamico
cayenne pepper
basil, chopped fine as fuck and pref fresh but da 50p shit in a bag ain't problematic either
some meatballs, idc if you make your own or get em store bought, i'm an autist though so i make my own with egg, beef mince and a little salt pepper and garlic powder
(if you're an autist and can't cook beef properly, try cutting some bacon up into numerous small pieces and substitute that for the meatballs)
final ingredients you'll need are olive oil, a few bay leaves (i'm blessed to have a bay tree in my back garden) and some salt n pepper for da seasonin

cut everything fine (except the carrot and the meatballs ((obviously not the meatballs retard)), skin that mf carrot and cut it in half)

put in onions, bay leaves, sugar in some hot olive oil (use a lot of oil, but obviously don't fill the whole pot), while they simmer add a spinkle of salt and peppah

after this add da garlic, basil and da meatballs, let them all mingle, if the meatballs break down a bit don't scream and cry, you'll be okay.

when the meatballs are nice and spicy, blend up all your tamata'z, with a bit of veggie stock and da carrot (i take this FROM the veggie stock like a pro gamer)

go back to da pot once this is all blended, add some tomata paste, balsamic vinegar and stir a bit, before adding the blended solutionerio

cook on a low heat stovetop for 30-50 mins till slightly reduced (consistent, fully cooked thru, slightly evaporated water content, but make sure it doesn't go too far cause you'll get some ashy sauce and if you want that porco dio molto benne saucerino then you know you gotta have da moisture) , season for taste with cayenne pepper as it boils (if u are a caucasiarinio or just don't like spicy food, then don't do this, you will hurt yourself, if you are insane, like me, then live a little)

boil some pasta of your choice from about the 30 min mark, i personally like linguine or fusili, but if you're a sociopath you can have something else.

et voila, plate carefully and keep the rest for like the next 3 days not having to worry about dinner because you have some mamma mia vafanculo pasta to eat like the NEET you are xoxoxoo.

​

I'm eating and I'm already hungry again wtf

 

[Ond]

@afran_ nebbed so here's the first one.

romeo's spaghetti marinara meatball especial

u will need

3 tins of plum tomatoes
1 whole mf carrot (and pref some vegetable stock too)
half a mf red onion
3-4 cloves of mf garlic, your dumbass can play it by eye alone
one teeny pinch of brown sugar (4 da honey dips)
some tomato paste
vinegario balsamico
cayenne pepper
basil, chopped fine as fuck and pref fresh but da 50p shit in a bag ain't problematic either
some meatballs, idc if you make your own or get em store bought, i'm an autist though so i make my own with egg, beef mince and a little salt pepper and garlic powder
(if you're an autist and can't cook beef properly, try cutting some bacon up into numerous small pieces and substitute that for the meatballs)
final ingredients you'll need are olive oil, a few bay leaves (i'm blessed to have a bay tree in my back garden) and some salt n pepper for da seasonin

cut everything fine (except the carrot and the meatballs ((obviously not the meatballs retard)), skin that mf carrot and cut it in half)

put in onions, bay leaves, sugar in some hot olive oil (use a lot of oil, but obviously don't fill the whole pot), while they simmer add a spinkle of salt and peppah

after this add da garlic, basil and da meatballs, let them all mingle, if the meatballs break down a bit don't scream and cry, you'll be okay.

when the meatballs are nice and spicy, blend up all your tamata'z, with a bit of veggie stock and da carrot (i take this FROM the veggie stock like a pro gamer)

go back to da pot once this is all blended, add some tomata paste, balsamic vinegar and stir a bit, before adding the blended solutionerio

cook on a low heat stovetop for 30-50 mins till slightly reduced (consistent, fully cooked thru, slightly evaporated water content, but make sure it doesn't go too far cause you'll get some ashy sauce and if you want that porco dio molto benne saucerino then you know you gotta have da moisture) , season for taste with cayenne pepper as it boils (if u are a caucasiarinio or just don't like spicy food, then don't do this, you will hurt yourself, if you are insane, like me, then live a little)

boil some pasta of your choice from about the 30 min mark, i personally like linguine or fusili, but if you're a sociopath you can have something else.

et voila, plate carefully and keep the rest for like the next 3 days not having to worry about dinner because you have some mamma mia vafanculo pasta to eat like the NEET you are xoxoxoo.

​

Could just shred the carrots and add two of them so they mix together better. I typically throw in some red whine I let cook off too

 

[Isuckatgaming]

@afran_ nebbed so here's the first one.

romeo's spaghetti marinara meatball especial

u will need

3 tins of plum tomatoes
1 whole mf carrot (and pref some vegetable stock too)
half a mf red onion
3-4 cloves of mf garlic, your dumbass can play it by eye alone
one teeny pinch of brown sugar (4 da honey dips)
some tomato paste
vinegario balsamico
cayenne pepper
basil, chopped fine as fuck and pref fresh but da 50p shit in a bag ain't problematic either
some meatballs, idc if you make your own or get em store bought, i'm an autist though so i make my own with egg, beef mince and a little salt pepper and garlic powder
(if you're an autist and can't cook beef properly, try cutting some bacon up into numerous small pieces and substitute that for the meatballs)
final ingredients you'll need are olive oil, a few bay leaves (i'm blessed to have a bay tree in my back garden) and some salt n pepper for da seasonin

cut everything fine (except the carrot and the meatballs ((obviously not the meatballs retard)), skin that mf carrot and cut it in half)

put in onions, bay leaves, sugar in some hot olive oil (use a lot of oil, but obviously don't fill the whole pot), while they simmer add a spinkle of salt and peppah

after this add da garlic, basil and da meatballs, let them all mingle, if the meatballs break down a bit don't scream and cry, you'll be okay.

when the meatballs are nice and spicy, blend up all your tamata'z, with a bit of veggie stock and da carrot (i take this FROM the veggie stock like a pro gamer)

go back to da pot once this is all blended, add some tomata paste, balsamic vinegar and stir a bit, before adding the blended solutionerio

cook on a low heat stovetop for 30-50 mins till slightly reduced (consistent, fully cooked thru, slightly evaporated water content, but make sure it doesn't go too far cause you'll get some ashy sauce and if you want that porco dio molto benne saucerino then you know you gotta have da moisture) , season for taste with cayenne pepper as it boils (if u are a caucasiarinio or just don't like spicy food, then don't do this, you will hurt yourself, if you are insane, like me, then live a little)

boil some pasta of your choice from about the 30 min mark, i personally like linguine or fusili, but if you're a sociopath you can have something else.

et voila, plate carefully and keep the rest for like the next 3 days not having to worry about dinner because you have some mamma mia vafanculo pasta to eat like the NEET you are xoxoxoo.

​

absolutely blessed recipe, cayenne is the real shit

 

[Roman Loaded]

Could just shred the carrots and add two of them so they mix together better. I typically throw in some red whine I let cook off too

yeah but it's easier to just boil them in water with a veggie stock cube prior, this way you get both your vegetable stock and when you put the soft carrot in the blender with the plum tomatoes it blends easier and you don't end up with any little bitch flecks of mf carrot in your goddamn marinara sauce FUCK.

absolutely blessed recipe, cayenne is the real shit

will post shrimp creole recipe after this, unironically same recipe, but with mf uhhh shrimp and bell peppers and a few more herbs and spices.

I'm eating and I'm already hungry again wtf

no problem my man.


ALSO MAD THING I FORGOT, BOIL SOME CELERY WITH THE CARROT AND PUT THAT IN, I DON'T KNOW WHY IT MAKES IT TASTE SO MF GOOD BUT IT DOES HOLY FUCK.
[doublepost=1586982776][/doublepost]i also have a banging recipe for toad in the hole

and if you have a proper skillet, i can teach you all how to make fried chicken

fuck and proper nice breakfast omelettes, this is the only reason i think i ever grew as tall as i am, like i literally put it all down to food like this.
[doublepost=1586982835][/doublepost]

Could just shred the carrots and add two of them so they mix together better. I typically throw in some red whine I let cook off too

i'm not into the whole wine in pasta sauce thing, but it's deffo a good deglazer.

there's a number of different ways to do a marinara, but basically the balsamic already has an acrid taste to it so it covers that part of the flavour profile imho, this way the sauce has a spicy, savoury yet distinctly sweet flavour to it, it's like an umami marinara sauce and it really is worth a try.

 

[Ond]

used this dude's video as a base for my bolognese

i dont do the livers though because i dont have access to it but its still god tier

 

[Roman Loaded]

used this dude's video as a base for my bolognese

i dont do the livers though because i dont have access to it but its still god tier

this is unironically what i based mine on

thin thin garlic

one small onion (don't put too many onions in the sauce vinnie)

3 small cans (1 and a half big cans)

bacon as the pork, meatballs as the beef (YOU GOTTA ADD DA PORK VINNIE DAS THE FLAVA)

and then basically all the basics of an italian marinara

do this, and you unironically have a true mafioso wise guy pasta sauce

i use the rest of the sauce the next day to break down the meatballs and make a mean lasagna the next day sometimes, the fam in quarantine be lovin that shit rn

 

[Ond]

this is unironically what i based mine on

thin thin garlic

one small onion (don't put too many onions in the sauce vinnie)

3 small cans (1 and a half big cans)

bacon as the pork, meatballs as the beef (YOU GOTTA ADD DA PORK VINNIE DAS THE FLAVA)

and then basically all the basics of an italian marinara

do this, and you unironically have a true mafioso wise guy pasta sauce

i use the rest of the sauce the next day to break down the meatballs and make a mean lasagna the next day sometimes, the fam in quarantine be lovin that shit rn

based and kinopilled

 

[Roman Loaded]

based and kinopilled

you can learn so much from scorcese about italian food man, it's actually ridiculous.

also i'm surprisingly attentive with my cooking so i watch stuff like this and just absorb entire recipes and meal ideas.
[doublepost=1586983429][/doublepost]and when all else fails, please PLEASE listen to basics with babish, he's an amazing home cook, not a chef, not a cook in the traditional sense, but his mastery of home cheffery makes him better than most of your classical professional cooks in the home kitchen.

like that man is a true sensei, even as a kid from a family of talented home cooks i learn smth new every time i watch one of his videos.

 

[Ond]

you can learn so much from scorcese about italian food man, it's actually ridiculous.

also i'm surprisingly attentive with my cooking so i watch stuff like this and just absorb entire recipes and meal ideas.
[doublepost=1586983429][/doublepost]and when all else fails, please PLEASE listen to basics with babish, he's an amazing home cook, not a chef, not a cook in the traditional sense, but his mastery of home cheffery makes him better than most of your classical professional cooks in the home kitchen.

put on goodfellas once or twice every year and start cooking near the beginning so you can sit down with your meatsauce/meatballs when they cook and eat in the prison

comfy

 

[Whilt]

if you want a cute cooking show to watch on netflix try Salt Fat Acid Heat

it's not as educational as the book but Nosrat is very good presenter, it's very wholesome and it's only 4 episodes so you might as well in quarantine xx

 

[Ond]

if you want a cute cooking show to watch on netflix try Salt Fat Acid Heat

it's not as educational as the book but Nosrat is very good presenter, it's very wholesome and it's only 4 episodes so you might as well in quarantine xx

Bruh try watching samurai gourmet

literally the most wholesome fucking show i've seen in a while its so nice and pleasent you just need to get into it and appreciate it for what it is

 

[Ricsow]

Tried making a milkshake today, turned out pretty good. Forgot to take pictures tho so uh...

 

[Ond]

Tried making a milkshake today, turned out pretty good. Forgot to take pictures tho so uh...

 

[Ricsow]

Good idea

Fucking easy too, just put ice cream, milk and sugar into a blender, it‘s that easy

 

[Zappericus]

Fucking easy too, just put ice cream, milk and sugar into a blender, it‘s that easy

Cocoa powder + cream and you've got yourself a thick and delicious brown goo

Your heart's ventricles will thank you