Sil
jus one more fing
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2016
- Messages
- 6,399
- Nebulae
- 8,139
Let me tell you the story of this fine situation.
I was the HoP, and designated traitor. All is cool and good, until I realise that I wasn't given an uplink code. Or, at the very least, I couldn't find it. So I'm essentially forced to do my objectives using my HoP powers, which is fairly neat. However, this is SS13 and it's never that simple.
Giving out AA to literally everyone at the line, I intentionally start causing chaos. Random assistants in Engineering, the CE getting pissy over the Command Radio, etc. etc. up until a fucking Curator who I gave AA to decided to go to Sec, get suited up, and then entered my office and fucking batoned me. Called the HoS to my office, this little shit was basically arresting me for giving him and others AA. This asshole took my gift and abused it against me, in the most dickhole way possible.
HoS arrives, with the Cap. I obviously play dumb about the situation, saying 'yeah I was giving AA to people, but I'll stop'. HoS shows sympathy, which is nice, but the Cap demotes me basically on the spot. Takes my ID, and I'm sent to the brig.
I waited for 10 minutes, as I watched all of my possessions be stolen right infront of me because the idiot Sec Officer didn't put my shit in my locker. I called out, constantly, that my shit was being stolen, but alas. Shitsec is shitsec, and shitsec is fucking deaf. There's nothing I can do except shout, but no help comes. The 10 minutes are up, and I'm free. I scream at the HoS to help me get a new ID because all my shit was stolen, and the HoS let all my shit get stolen. We're heading out to find the captain, and if I remember correctly all of the bridge was now an exploded mess.
A very clever traitor decided to use teleportation to send Maxcap bombs directly into the bridge. It was glorious to see the aftermath as people are screaming on radio and the shuttle gets called. So now, I've got 10 minutes to complete BOTH objectives.
With absolutely nothing.
I follow a doc into the medbay, making my way down to genetics. I want those epic mutations, and as I check the console BAM.
Telekinesis and Chameleon stare right at me. So obviously, I pull them right out of the machine and inject them into me. I am the living equivalent of a poltergeist, being able to throw shit around. Heading out of Genetics, I just so happen to see Aston Gurney. This mfer is a true rimmytide player, completely unrobust and overall one of the easiest kills I've ever made.
At least, it would be. If cloning had've left him alone.
You see, beforehand as I was in Brig trying to prove my dumbfound innocence, I let it slip to the HoS that Aston came up to the HoP line and accidentally put down his Emag rather than his ID. Saying he quickly replaced it, but I still saw it as I was giving out the AAs. I'm pretty sure I said I didn't give him AA, to help prove this, and as such now the HoS is tricked into believing this random assistant is an emag traitor. Which I then proceed to tell the station about over my headset.
Carrying on, I grabbed a shattered drinking glass and did as most do. I started stabbing Aston in the head with it, and very swiftly he was dead. All's well and good, right? Nope. I'm now equipped in his body's clothes, it wasn't much special. To obviously dispose of the body, I put it in a locker and use telekinesis to transport it. I bang on the CMO's door with it, because objective 2. It just so happens that the CMO was very close by and saw this, however I simply said that I just wanted the Hypospray. CMO said 'Just take it', and literally gave me the Hypospray. During that time, the body of Aston was taken back to cloning, and was being cloned.
You know what's about to happen.
I went down there, waited, and started to stab the shit out of his newly cloned body. It lead on to be a great chase, all the way to Cargo until he basically stopped as I stabbed him. Putting him in a locker, and using telekinesis, I take him down to try and find an airlock to space the body. A random doc opens the locker, and drags the body down to genetics for another cloning. I'm furiously tapping on the door, wanting entry to stop the doc, and I'm just a bit too late. Watching Aston get cloned for the second time really broke my heart, but I had to carry on.
I shouted at the doc just after he began the cloning that my boy Aston was a traitor, and that I was trying to kill him and dispose of the body. Amazingly, the doc is like 'Oh shit, alright yeah' and when Aston is recloned we collectively beat the shit out of him. His body gets properly destroyed & spaced, and now objectives 1 and 2 are done.
At this point, the shuttle is only a minute away, I head down to Evac and I just sit about, waiting for the shuttle to arrive. The shuttle arrives without any mishaps, I hop into a crate and using my epic chameleon, I'm invisible.
And that, my friends, is how to Greentext.
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