vasily II vasilyevich, guided by his son, ivan III vasilyevich
1444
>be me, ten y/o in 1425, dad is grand prince of muscovy
>dad dies
>one surviving son
>guess who's in charge bitches
>ruler of vodka state who're acting tax collectors for some horsefucker bandits
>pretty cool actually, get a crown. all my peasants are dumb af and unwashed tho
>my grandfather was a horny mofo, now my uncles and cousins are eyeing my seat
>
dafuck.png
>uncle raises an army, comes for my seat
>army outside of my castle, mfw 15y/o me can't jack off cause im supposed to be taking care of this shit
>can't do shit. dad's drinking buddy betrays me and lets uncle come in and take my crown.
>banished to some shithole village
>everyone stinks, go through a bit of a grunge phase
>big mistake leaving me alive uncle
>some of my family don't like uncle, liked my dad, we start to plot
>uncle shits himself and runs off back to his stinking village
>get my crown back. YOINK
>blind dad's drinking buddy LOL. fuck you guy.
>uncle dies and his inbred sons start eyeing my throne.
>smh
>they raise an army, have to hide out at the horsefuckers village
>pretty chill. place still smells like still but horsefuckers let me buy wives for horses
>literally have a harem of hairy blonde bitches
>my dream life.
>pretty sure these people actually fuck the horses ngl
>suddenly get a message from dead uncle's inbred son, the one who didn't get the crown
>he's pissed off, wants to fuck his bro over. says he'll help me get my crown back
>want to get away from horsefuckers. can't stand the pleading looks the molested horses give me.
>me and non-crown bro banish his brother, i get the crown, everyone's happy
>blind the banished bro, FUCK you pal
>wasted my teens living in a fucking yurt because of him
>horsefucker's federation of tribes finally fall apart. it's been coming for a while, but good timing. go to war with them, to save the horses
>SHIT
>get captured. they want gold this time, not horses.
>fuck
>convince the peasants to raise a bunch of gold for my ransom
>actually get the money
>mfw
>guess who's sitting in my throne when i'm back? the fucking inbred brother who got his own bro off the throne for me
>he blinds me
>FUUUUCK
>banished AGAIN to some shithole village. he learned nothing from his dumb father.
>gather the boys for coup round 2 electric boogaloo
>retake the crown. catch the cousin, poison him, try kill his kids but they run off to the south
>sole ruler of muscovy
>everyone's fucking blind. even me
>son helps me rule, pretty shocked he hasn't poisoned me
>son wants to continue what i started, centralizing russia
>says he wants to go after horsefuckers after. says he thinks they're abusing their horses...
>ofw, 11th November 1444
>would be crying tears of pride if i had eyes
The (best) [is yet] to {come}
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