oh yeah
gettin CT scan results in a few days
ill let u all know how it goes
CT was perfect, blood test was perfect
doctor has outright said he, to quote him directly; "isn't really that concerned anymore" and he sincerely doesn't believe it'll come back - this coming from a doctor who's got a slew of achievements in his field and works with a lot of severe cases like mine, so i believe every word of it because i know he wouldn't say it unless he was completely sure.
what really struck me though was what he said afterward. in his once again quoted words; "once you hit the three year mark you've basically got as much chance of getting cancer as anyone else does."
yeah. he actually fucking said that.
i'm still shocked, honestly. i didnt expect to hear something like that for years, or even at all; but he said, with the utmost confidence, that by the time i hit the 3 year mark (which is in a
year's time), i'll have just as much risk as anyone else. jesus christ.
for the last two and a half years i've sincerely wondered if i'll ever have the same opportunities as everyone else; i sincerely wondered if i'd live long enough to do the things i wanted to do, regardless of whether or not everything was going well. i had this biting feeling in the back of my head that i was being too optimistic and it was going to come back and it was going to kill me. but then he said that.
what he said just keeps replaying in my head. i'm sincerely shocked and i swear to almost makes me tear up every time i think about it.
and i can now confidently say what i've been wanting to say for the last two and a half years;
i won. i fucking won.
i love all of you and i'm excited to see what life has in store for me.