date fuckups

[Deleted member 61]

Not really a date story or fuck-up on my behalf story.

Went to a Halloween Party in high school with my crew at some trashy chick's house... with a full bottle of my dad's Crown Royal whiskey.
Drink half the bottle competitively.
Sit down, chat for maybe 25 mins.
I stand up and I realize...
I'm blitzed.
I tell one of the hottest babes from a neighbouring school that she's so hot, she asked how hot? I said that I'd bend her over and bang her.
Little did I know that the dude sitting with her and holding her hand was her boyfriend, but they both laughed it off relatively well. She followed me on Twitter and Instagram.
My next exploit was the kitchen. I think I was visibly plastered because people started handing me frozen waffles and milk.
Naturally, I started to down the frozen waffles and chug the milk to the sound of cheering fans. Mind you, I didn't go for the milk and waffles, they brought them to me.
Next thing you know, I'm outside having a smoke, woozy as fuck and barely conscious.
A girl, who happens to be my old school friend's sister, asks me if she can slap me in the face and desperate for any female touch at that young age, I said, "Sure!", turned my cheek and waited for it. I stood there for like ten seconds before somebody jumped out of nowhere (considering my eyes were closed) and socked me in the side of the face. Being this drunk, it didn't hurt. Turned out to be a drug dealer looking for a freebie.
Cops ended up rolling and shutting it down.
The parents ended up divorced and the host of the party's father is now living downstairs beneath me as a tenant.

As I said, not really a date or a fuck up story considering I ended up with awesome grad dates and valedictorian.


Also, fuck Tinder. Until my wrist gets carpel tunnel and my legs break, I will never resort to meeting up with random sluts on the internet.

 

[Mute]

Also, fuck Tinder. Until my wrist gets carpel tunnel and my legs break, I will never resort to meeting up with random sluts on the internet.

not like any of them would wanna hook up with you

your musk permeates through the internet

 

[abcdefg]

A girl, who happens to be my old school friend's sister, asks me if she can slap me in the face and desperate for any female touch at that young age, I said, "Sure!", turned my cheek and waited for it. I stood there for like ten seconds before somebody jumped out of nowhere (considering my eyes were closed) and socked me in the side of the face. Being this drunk, it didn't hurt. Turned out to be a drug dealer looking for a freebie.
Cops ended up rolling and shutting it down.
The parents ended up divorced and the host of the party's father is now living downstairs beneath me as a tenant.

this part reads like a fever dream wtf lol

 

[Deleted member 442]

Also, fuck Tinder.

have you considered giving grindr a go?

 

[Deleted member 61]

this part reads like a fever dream wtf lol

welcome to my life.

from die hard metalhead outcast that hated showering and never cut his hair to socially affluent preppy ball player who took daily showers and wore exclusively hilfigure, hollister, american eagle and A&F.

now i lift for a living.

 

[Deleted member 61]

have you considered giving grindr a go?

Easy now, you're happily married. ;)

 

[Dallas]

in 2016 once left a girl in the middle of a date because i had to go to class and id forgot about it, the lecturer said they'd grade you down at the end of the year for poor attendance and id already missed like 2 weeks because of flu

i left her in the movie theatre, sitting there, by herself, no wonder i never got a second date

looking back on it, the first year of my undergrad, none of it actually mattered or contributed to my final classification or the stuff im doing now

thoughts before thots, i guess lads

 

[abcdefg]

in 2016 once left a girl in the middle of a date because i had to go to class and id forgot about it, the lecturer said they'd grade you down at the end of the year for poor attendance and id already missed like 2 weeks because of flu

i left her in the movie theatre, sitting there, by herself, no wonder i never got a second date

looking back on it, the first year of my undergrad, none of it actually mattered or contributed to my final classification or the stuff im doing now

thoughts before thots, i guess lads

class before ass

 

[Dallas]

Not really a date story or fuck-up on my behalf story.

Went to a Halloween Party in high school with my crew at some trashy chick's house... with a full bottle of my dad's Crown Royal whiskey.
Drink half the bottle competitively.
Sit down, chat for maybe 25 mins.
I stand up and I realize...
I'm blitzed.
I tell one of the hottest babes from a neighbouring school that she's so hot, she asked how hot? I said that I'd bend her over and bang her.
Little did I know that the dude sitting with her and holding her hand was her boyfriend, but they both laughed it off relatively well. She followed me on Twitter and Instagram.
My next exploit was the kitchen. I think I was visibly plastered because people started handing me frozen waffles and milk.
Naturally, I started to down the frozen waffles and chug the milk to the sound of cheering fans. Mind you, I didn't go for the milk and waffles, they brought them to me.
Next thing you know, I'm outside having a smoke, woozy as fuck and barely conscious.
A girl, who happens to be my old school friend's sister, asks me if she can slap me in the face and desperate for any female touch at that young age, I said, "Sure!", turned my cheek and waited for it. I stood there for like ten seconds before somebody jumped out of nowhere (considering my eyes were closed) and socked me in the side of the face. Being this drunk, it didn't hurt. Turned out to be a drug dealer looking for a freebie.
Cops ended up rolling and shutting it down.
The parents ended up divorced and the host of the party's father is now living downstairs beneath me as a tenant.

As I said, not really a date or a fuck up story considering I ended up with awesome grad dates and valedictorian.


Also, fuck Tinder. Until my wrist gets carpel tunnel and my legs break, I will never resort to meeting up with random sluts on the internet.

am i the only one who finds the tone of this really off-putting?

 

[Deleted member 442]

Easy now, you're happily married. :wink:

tryna fuck?

 

[Dallas]

class before ass

hell yeah brother

 

[Deleted member 61]

am i the only one who finds the tone of this really off-putting?

no, i find it pretty off-putting as well. i have shame.

 

[Dallas]

no, i find it pretty off-putting as well. i have shame.

we've all been there
[doublepost=1602452392][/doublepost]

one time i went on a date with 2 different people at once. it was so uncomfortable and i still feel awful about it.

this is a seinfeld episode

 

[Ond]

Also, fuck Tinder. Until my wrist gets carpel tunnel and my legs break, I will never resort to meeting up with random sluts on the internet.

chicks are literally on tinder for the exact same reason dudes are

what is this double standard lmao just wear rubber and you're good

 

[Rabid]

Maybe this sounds pretentious but I've never really understood how anyone can have trouble just talking to someone in the sense of being friends with a woman and having that eventually lead somewhere organically.

Like I understand the idea of being fearful of rejection: I was rejected a lot in my teens and it really, really ruined my confidence and yet in that same vote I've since had several great relationships just by being able to interact with people - I never let that rejection ruin my inherent social skills.

 

[john]

Maybe this sounds pretentious but I've never really understood how anyone can have trouble just talking to someone in the sense of being friends with a woman and having that eventually lead somewhere organically.

Like I understand the idea of being fearful of rejection: I was rejected a lot in my teens and it really, really ruined my confidence and yet in that same vote I've since had several great relationships just by being able to interact with people - I never let that rejection ruin my inherent social skills.

think its mainly a case of people having no social skills to begin with whichever way you swing it. not everyone takes rejection well.

also @ everyone pretending they're better than tinder. to you i say lol
do you seriously think women are sluts because they want to have sex as much as you do??
get out the house my guy, go outside

 

[Ond]

Maybe this sounds pretentious but I've never really understood how anyone can have trouble just talking to someone in the sense of being friends with a woman and having that eventually lead somewhere organically.

Like I understand the idea of being fearful of rejection: I was rejected a lot in my teens and it really, really ruined my confidence and yet in that same vote I've since had several great relationships just by being able to interact with people - I never let that rejection ruin my inherent social skills.

you think it be like this

but it dont

if you want to actually reorganize someone's insides, you can't just talk to them like any friend and this is a, lukewarm at best, take

think its mainly a case of people having no social skills to begin with whichever way you swing it. not everyone takes rejection well.

also @ everyone pretending they're better than tinder. to you i say lol
do you seriously think women are sluts because they want to have sex as much as you do??
get out the house my guy, go outside

yeah lmao

you can fuck every day if you wanted, as long as your standards are low enough on tinder

 

[GenericPlayer]

damn y'all out dating?

 

[Ond]

damn y'all out dating?

if you think i spent the entire corona lockdown at home jerking off then you got another thing coming

 

[Rabid]

if you want to actually reorganize someone's insides, you can't just talk to them like any friend and this is a, lukewarm at best, take

Fair actually, I worded it poorly.

Then again I suppose I don't do casual hookups really so all of my encounters have come as a result of actually being in relationships or flirting with someone who I'm already friends with and not just chatting a stranger up (which I'm sure I could do if I put my mind to it).