Isuckatgaming
Rictal-Approved
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Hunt Down Freeman
- Thread starter DoubleD
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Chromesthesia_
Hailing from the same town as Sophie Dee
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Deerjohn
Nucleus
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Rida
Electron
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> giving away years of ad revenue to a fucking mod and begging for it back when you realised you are a total spastic
edit: nvm he is atleast 12 years of age judging from this pic
psure bolloxed is a girl
Bandit
Nucleus
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>TFW you care more about 50K to afford a fucking gold crowbar than your own dog's life.
Where's my
+ 34000, Frank?Is this even half life?
Or is it just fake bullsh*ttery?
Stuck in development
No release until next year maybe
Open your wallets
Look to the price and scream
I'm just a poor dev, I need a pity party
Because I'm easy scum, easy shrew
A little dumb, a little slow
Anyway the files blow, doesn't really matter to me, to me
Papa, Just entered debt
Put a price on a trainwreck
pulled shady moves, and now they're mad
Papa, the reviews have just begun
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Papa, ooo
If the updates not out by tomorrow
Shill on, Shill on, as if nothing really matters
WHERE'S THE FUCKING MONEY, SHITHEAD?!
You think you are so cool with your accusations!? Bullying developers!? You didn't see what they did! What Frank did! You couldn't know anything they lived through!
Doggo got dropped just like Bolloxed's interest rates.
Gorgo freemonty was a super cool scientist in the science place named white highland, he did all sorts of cool science stuff like wearing an orange suit, playing with loud alien dogs, shooting illegal aliens in their tiny arms, and last but not least, shooting loud alien dogs.
Gorgo was enjoying his simple cool guy life, up until BAD PEOPLE ARRIVED. The united states of keemstar's military arrived at the facility hellbent on KILLING EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES OR MOVES OR MAKES NOISE OR LOOKS AT THEM WEIRD. Gorgo was scared, but then he realized he was actually very well trained and picked up a gun and started shooting rapidly at every man he see.
The military boys got reaaaaally angry and called in BLACK OPS (not racist), they were SUPER COOL, MAYBE EVEN COOLER THAN GORGO FREEMONTY. They dodged and zoomed past all his bullets, it was like slow motion but cooler. Then Gorgo got so fed up he tossed grenades everywhere and everyone died.
All seemed well for Gorgo and he decided to head towards the exit of white highland, that was UNTIL SCAR BOY ARRIVED. "STOP RIGHT THERE ORANGE MAN, IT IS I, THE MAN OF SCARS." The scar boy said.
Gorgo turns around dramatically with anime glasses gleaming, "NO YOU FOOL, YOU ARE BUT A BOY WITH A GREASY MULLET, YOU ARE NO MAN, PREPARE TO DIE!" Gorgo and Scar boy duke it out for 13 seconds, it would've lasted longer if it wasn't for the fact that Gorgo was beating a child to death with a crowbar.
Scar boy looks up in agony, his eyes are beaten into his skull and the light blinds his face, he says to Gorgo before he passes out, "u mom gay." Gorgo sheds a tear because his mother died from the grave illness gay many moons ago, he waltz out of the facility crowbar in hand. Scar boy awakens in front of a old man in a suit who appears to be removing articles of clothing.
"O-OH OH YEAH UH HEY WHAT'S POPPIN' ITSAME THE GEE GUY, I was definitely not attempting assault on an unconscious child no no!" Said the Gee guy.
Scar boy responds, "WHO ARE YOU STRANGE OLD MAN IN MY HEAD!?"
The gee guy looks at him with a confused face and says, "I just said my name, it's gee guy, also go ahead and kill this orange guy that mangled your face lol k bye." THEN the Gee guy vanishes in thin air, dropping a smoke bomb but is actually leaving through a fire escape.
Scar boy awakens in a hospital in ALBOQUIEQOAHWOW and a mean british Asian approaches his bed, "AWAKE UP MY SOLDIER CHILD IT'S TIME TO FIGHT THE ALIEN INVASION AND ZOMBIES" he says. Scar boy looks at him in confusion, but gets up and grabs conveniently placed gun and runs along side him.
So uhh, I guess they fight a lot of aliens for awhile in incredibly poorly designed ma- I MEAN INCREDIBLY DESIGNED OPEN WORLD ENVIRONMENTS. After awhile Scar boy finds a man in a dark room with a rifle, he asks him "are you wacking it in here? That's disgusting."
The man emerges from the shadows and replies "oh, hi mark." It was none other than TOMMY WISEAU. They aim guns at each other for 15 minutes and put them down, just to walk out together in hand as new found friends.
Then uhm, something with a russian guy, then child slavery, oH THEN GORGO FREEMONTY APPEARS ON A BOAT 300 YEARS LATER WHERE THE COMBONE HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANET. Gorgo looks at scar boy, who is now scar slightly older boy, and his child army. Gorgo says, "HA YOU FOOL, THIS WILL NOT STOP ME!" And proceeds to kill all the children soldiers, who were really just kids who had wii controller gun controllers.
Scar boy looks up in agony once more, but Gorgo removes his head and shows that it was TOMMY WISEAU. He looks down, spitting on Gorgo's pathetic face, he says "I did not hit her." before bashing his noggin in. He wakes up in a bus full of GORGO FREEMONTY'S, looking around frantically as they gesture him forward to join their bizarre sex cult, he refuses and he is then kicked out of the bus where the OLD GEE GUY APPEARS.
"You are bad at your job, I honestly can see why your parents killed themselves, you can't kill Tommy Wiseau? You're kidding me right? His career consists of a single bad movie and living off memes, you're pathetic and I'm not remotely sorry for running over your dog." Said the Gee guy.
Scar boy looks up and responds, "YOU RAN OVER MY DOG???" Where Gee boy then slaps his hair and skips away. Scar boy cries in a puddle of his own tears, he knows he has failed and will never avenge his brother who DIED at white highland.
BUT THEN A GAS MAN APPEARS AND SAYS TO SCAR BOY "yoyoyo it's me your brother who did not actually die at white highland, you have nothing to be sad about." SCAR BOY jumps into the air and hugs his brother (no homo), they skip away in glee knowing everything is fine.
Meanwhile back in reality, Scar boy's corpse is tossed into the sea. A mysterious figure approaches Tommy Wiseau, he hands him a stack of 50,000 U.S. Dollars and whispers, "Your next target is this man." They hand them a picture of a man with a cigar in his mouth. "His name is Berkan Denizyaran, but his codename is Frank, I want you to eliminate him by any means possible, don't care how you do it just get the job done."
Tommy accepts the payment and takes the image, he looks back at the mysterious figure and responds, "Bye doggie." And leaps into the sea, swimming off towards the nearest coastline. The mysterious figure looks up at the sun dramatically, removing their hat...
Revealing that it is none other than BOLLOXED.
Standing on the edge of the crater
Like the prophets once said
And the ashes are all cold now
No more bullets and the embers are dead
Whispers in the air tell the tales
Of the brothers gone
Desolation, devastation
What a mess we made, when it all went wrong
Watching from the edge of the circus
For the games to begin
Gladiators draw their swords
Form their ranks for Armageddon
Bolloxed says, "You are a man who sold the world Berkan, and I will have your head for it."
I'M NUUUUUUUUUCLEARRRRRRR, I'M WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD. I'M BREAKING UP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSIIIIIIIIIIIDE, A HEART OF BROOOOOOOOKEN GLAAAAAAASS DEEEEEEEEEEEFIIIIIILD. DEEEEEEEP INSIDE THE ABANDOOOOOOOONED CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD.
*Credits roll*
Gorgo was enjoying his simple cool guy life, up until BAD PEOPLE ARRIVED. The united states of keemstar's military arrived at the facility hellbent on KILLING EVERYTHING THAT BREATHES OR MOVES OR MAKES NOISE OR LOOKS AT THEM WEIRD. Gorgo was scared, but then he realized he was actually very well trained and picked up a gun and started shooting rapidly at every man he see.
The military boys got reaaaaally angry and called in BLACK OPS (not racist), they were SUPER COOL, MAYBE EVEN COOLER THAN GORGO FREEMONTY. They dodged and zoomed past all his bullets, it was like slow motion but cooler. Then Gorgo got so fed up he tossed grenades everywhere and everyone died.
All seemed well for Gorgo and he decided to head towards the exit of white highland, that was UNTIL SCAR BOY ARRIVED. "STOP RIGHT THERE ORANGE MAN, IT IS I, THE MAN OF SCARS." The scar boy said.
Gorgo turns around dramatically with anime glasses gleaming, "NO YOU FOOL, YOU ARE BUT A BOY WITH A GREASY MULLET, YOU ARE NO MAN, PREPARE TO DIE!" Gorgo and Scar boy duke it out for 13 seconds, it would've lasted longer if it wasn't for the fact that Gorgo was beating a child to death with a crowbar.
Scar boy looks up in agony, his eyes are beaten into his skull and the light blinds his face, he says to Gorgo before he passes out, "u mom gay." Gorgo sheds a tear because his mother died from the grave illness gay many moons ago, he waltz out of the facility crowbar in hand. Scar boy awakens in front of a old man in a suit who appears to be removing articles of clothing.
"O-OH OH YEAH UH HEY WHAT'S POPPIN' ITSAME THE GEE GUY, I was definitely not attempting assault on an unconscious child no no!" Said the Gee guy.
Scar boy responds, "WHO ARE YOU STRANGE OLD MAN IN MY HEAD!?"
The gee guy looks at him with a confused face and says, "I just said my name, it's gee guy, also go ahead and kill this orange guy that mangled your face lol k bye." THEN the Gee guy vanishes in thin air, dropping a smoke bomb but is actually leaving through a fire escape.
Scar boy awakens in a hospital in ALBOQUIEQOAHWOW and a mean british Asian approaches his bed, "AWAKE UP MY SOLDIER CHILD IT'S TIME TO FIGHT THE ALIEN INVASION AND ZOMBIES" he says. Scar boy looks at him in confusion, but gets up and grabs conveniently placed gun and runs along side him.
So uhh, I guess they fight a lot of aliens for awhile in incredibly poorly designed ma- I MEAN INCREDIBLY DESIGNED OPEN WORLD ENVIRONMENTS. After awhile Scar boy finds a man in a dark room with a rifle, he asks him "are you wacking it in here? That's disgusting."
The man emerges from the shadows and replies "oh, hi mark." It was none other than TOMMY WISEAU. They aim guns at each other for 15 minutes and put them down, just to walk out together in hand as new found friends.
Then uhm, something with a russian guy, then child slavery, oH THEN GORGO FREEMONTY APPEARS ON A BOAT 300 YEARS LATER WHERE THE COMBONE HAVE TAKEN OVER THE PLANET. Gorgo looks at scar boy, who is now scar slightly older boy, and his child army. Gorgo says, "HA YOU FOOL, THIS WILL NOT STOP ME!" And proceeds to kill all the children soldiers, who were really just kids who had wii controller gun controllers.
Scar boy looks up in agony once more, but Gorgo removes his head and shows that it was TOMMY WISEAU. He looks down, spitting on Gorgo's pathetic face, he says "I did not hit her." before bashing his noggin in. He wakes up in a bus full of GORGO FREEMONTY'S, looking around frantically as they gesture him forward to join their bizarre sex cult, he refuses and he is then kicked out of the bus where the OLD GEE GUY APPEARS.
"You are bad at your job, I honestly can see why your parents killed themselves, you can't kill Tommy Wiseau? You're kidding me right? His career consists of a single bad movie and living off memes, you're pathetic and I'm not remotely sorry for running over your dog." Said the Gee guy.
Scar boy looks up and responds, "YOU RAN OVER MY DOG???" Where Gee boy then slaps his hair and skips away. Scar boy cries in a puddle of his own tears, he knows he has failed and will never avenge his brother who DIED at white highland.
BUT THEN A GAS MAN APPEARS AND SAYS TO SCAR BOY "yoyoyo it's me your brother who did not actually die at white highland, you have nothing to be sad about." SCAR BOY jumps into the air and hugs his brother (no homo), they skip away in glee knowing everything is fine.
Meanwhile back in reality, Scar boy's corpse is tossed into the sea. A mysterious figure approaches Tommy Wiseau, he hands him a stack of 50,000 U.S. Dollars and whispers, "Your next target is this man." They hand them a picture of a man with a cigar in his mouth. "His name is Berkan Denizyaran, but his codename is Frank, I want you to eliminate him by any means possible, don't care how you do it just get the job done."
Tommy accepts the payment and takes the image, he looks back at the mysterious figure and responds, "Bye doggie." And leaps into the sea, swimming off towards the nearest coastline. The mysterious figure looks up at the sun dramatically, removing their hat...
Revealing that it is none other than BOLLOXED.
Standing on the edge of the crater
Like the prophets once said
And the ashes are all cold now
No more bullets and the embers are dead
Whispers in the air tell the tales
Of the brothers gone
Desolation, devastation
What a mess we made, when it all went wrong
Watching from the edge of the circus
For the games to begin
Gladiators draw their swords
Form their ranks for Armageddon
Bolloxed says, "You are a man who sold the world Berkan, and I will have your head for it."
I'M NUUUUUUUUUCLEARRRRRRR, I'M WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD. I'M BREAKING UP IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINSIIIIIIIIIIIDE, A HEART OF BROOOOOOOOKEN GLAAAAAAASS DEEEEEEEEEEEFIIIIIILD. DEEEEEEEP INSIDE THE ABANDOOOOOOOONED CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD.
*Credits roll*
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TheRobsterDJ
Nucleus
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I just realized.
IF HDTF IS CANON, THAT MEANS THAT KEEMSTAR WAS PRESIDENT DURING HALF LIFE ONE.
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