Joke of the Day

[Postal]

you got buns

 

[Goret]

What do you give to a sick lemon?
Lemon aid

 

[Zelyn]

being an active CAB character

 

[Strixz]

A dyslexic walks into a bra..

 

[The Rock]

I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick.

I mean, how low can you go?

 

[The Rock]

I went to the pharmacy yesterday and asked the assistant what gets rid of the Coronavirus.

She said ammonia cleaner.

I said sorry I thought you worked here.

 

[The Rock]

What do you call a chicken that's staring at some lettuce?

Chicken sees a salad.

 

[adnolug]

There is a big monastery build from bricks that contains 5 thousand minions.
one day a guy on a red motor asked the minions - Hello minions can i sleep the entire night in your monastery? - Minions say - Alright!
The next day the guy drives away on his red motor in the morning and the monastery falls apart, minions die only 1 thousand is left they rebuild the monastery but from cobble because there isn't too much money.
The night comes and the same guy on the red motor comes and asks the same thing. Minions agree and the next morning monastery falls apart minions die! 500 is left, they rebuild it but from wood because there isn't enough minions to go to mine.
The same guy comes AGAIN on the night on his red motor. - hello!!! can i have a sleepover!!!?!? - the guy says, the minions respond - nooo go away! - but the guy begs on his knees and the minions agree. when the morning comes the monastery falls, minions die and 100 is left, they rebuild the monastery but from dirt because there isn't minions left to chop wood. and the same happends again, the guy with red motor but now ONLY ONE MINION IS LEFT, AS THE GUY ON RED MOTOR RIDES AWAY HE IS SO FUCKING ANGRY THAT HE GETS ON HIS YELLOW BIKE AND STARTS CHASING THE GUY ON THE RED MOTOR, HE GET'S HIM AND BEATS HIM UP.
The moral is:
Yellow bikes are faster than red motors.

 

[Johnny B. Goode]

a man goes to a doctor, worrying greatly about his two young boys
"oh doctor, it's awful. they just can't help it. ever since they were young all they wanted to do is this one job."
"hmm.. okay would you mind telling me what it is?"
"they both want to be valets!"
the doctor nods slowly
"worst case of parking sons i've ever seen."

 

[adnolug]

I've got a pun for doctors but it'ill be too sick
I've got a pun about construction but im still working on it

 

[The Rock]

What do you call a Rock that skips school.

A skipping stone.

 

[Strixz]

I was sitting in some traffic the other day, probably why i got run over now that i think about it.

 

[Charlie]

bitches be like "bitches be like" and then be the bitches that be like

 

[MaXenzie]

Was standing in a park the other day wondering why frisbees get bigger the closer they get.

Then it hit me.

 

[Zak]

diary entry 42

 

[hbag]

i stole this joke from someone and they know who they are

whats the difference between a magic wand and a stunstick
one's for cunning stunts, the other's for stunning cunts

 

[adnolug]

Give me your best joke. Best joke of the day will get a custom title 'Joker of Nebulous'

I've got a joke about construction but im still working on it

 

[Postal]

do you know mike

 

[The Rock]

The amount of bad coronavirus jokes is starting to reach worrying numbers.

Some scientists claim it might be a pundemic.

 

[Ibarra]

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business.