Serious Medical/Mental Illness. Or a general well being thread

[Trains]

tinder bitches be weird sometimes but it works

don’t pass up on it because it didn’t work too great at first

 

[Mic15000]

2 of my relationships came from tinder, but i have also used it for casual stuff in-between and beforehand


i'll be honest man, it sounds like a you-thing

It sounds to me, that you can approach dating in multiple ways. The question you want to ask yourself before is “what kind of person I am looking for?” and “what kind of person am i?” By doing so you can then decide which path you want to go to.

I feel like if you are more outgoing you’ll be fine either way. My main take away is know what you are getting into, dating apps are not going to be your golden ticket. They are biased against you after all. However, you can make it work if you are determined. You just have to be real and stay grounded but most importantly. WATCH THOSE RED FLAGS

 

[Deleted member 930]

It sounds to me, that you can approach dating in multiple ways. The question you want to ask yourself before is “what kind of person I am looking for?” and “what kind of person am i?” By doing so you can then decide which path you want to go to.

I feel like if you are more outgoing you’ll be fine either way. My main take away is know what you are getting into, dating apps are not going to be your golden ticket. They are biased against you after all. However, you can make it work if you are determined. You just have to be real and stay grounded but most importantly. WATCH THOSE RED FLAGS

Important thing also to mention is asking yourself time to time again.

Did i do something wrong? and what can i do to fix it?.

 

[Ond]

It sounds to me, that you can approach dating in multiple ways. The question you want to ask yourself before is “what kind of person I am looking for?” and “what kind of person am i?” By doing so you can then decide which path you want to go to.

I feel like if you are more outgoing you’ll be fine either way. My main take away is know what you are getting into, dating apps are not going to be your golden ticket. They are biased against you after all. However, you can make it work if you are determined. You just have to be real and stay grounded but most importantly. WATCH THOSE RED FLAGS

i just do it because its easy

and also because i am too busy to wait for someone to fall into my lap in real life lmao

there are people on there looking for serious things just as much as casual, you just need to know how to talk to people

 

[Mic15000]

i just do it because its easy

and also because i am too busy to wait for someone to fall into my lap in real life lmao

there are people on there looking for serious things just as much as casual, you just need to know how to talk to people

And there’s nothing wrong with that King, everyone does it for some type of different reason. Some people prefer slower stuff and other faster.

I totally agree however, whatever you do, knowing how to talk to people is key. In Love and Work. And its ok if you aren’t good at first, its important to keep practicing and get out your comfort zone.

 

[Deleted member 930]

And there’s nothing wrong with that King, everyone does it for some type of different reason. Some people prefer slower stuff and other faster.

I totally agree however, whatever you do, knowing how to talk to people is key. In Love and Work. And its ok if you aren’t good at first, its important to keep practicing and get out your comfort zone.

It's also important not to hold any grudges towards any invidiuals even if they didn't do anything wrong, who just don't have same kind of feeling you have for them.

I'm talking with experience.

My Mom's tires got slashed last year by someone who held a grudge against her and she received e-mails who called her all sorts of things.

 

[Subeh]

never liked tinder personally

it's more my upbringing than anything, i've just personally always seen tinder as a toxic concept and i'd much rather meet somebody face-to-face; call me oldschool but i think it's just a whole lot healthier

plus i'm not anything like i am in real life while i'm online. they'd get a totally incorrect impression of me and i hate that thought.

 

[Zeenz]

we all gonna make it brahs

 

[MaXenzie]

while i dont like tinder or use it i basically agree with @Ond

texting someone or speaking to them IRL, people decide whether or not they're romantically interested in you within seconds in my experience

tinder just speeds up the finding out part.

people are toxic and shallow regardless of whether or not they're using a dating app

 

[Subeh]

while i dont like tinder or use it i basically agree with @Ond

texting someone or speaking to them IRL, people decide whether or not they're romantically interested in you within seconds in my experience

tinder just speeds up the finding out part.

people are toxic and shallow regardless of whether or not they're using a dating app

i guess it just depends if u wanna be oldschool about it

ive never looked at women and thought "oh yeah i wanna date her", it's never been my intention; i'd much rather see a potential friend and not even think about the possibility of it evolving beyond that

im also just not a fan of actively seeking that sort of thing out. if it's gonna happen it'll happen and it'll more than likely happen purely because of me focusing on my passions; with a passion like photography i'm fairly confident i'm eventually going to run into somebody who's interested in the same thing yakno

 

[Ond]

i guess it just depends if u wanna be oldschool about it

ive never looked at women and thought "oh yeah i wanna date her", it's never been my intention; i'd much rather see a potential friend and not even think about the possibility of it evolving beyond that

im also just not a fan of actively seeking that sort of thing out. if it's gonna happen it'll happen and it'll more than likely happen purely because of me focusing on my passions; with a passion like photography i'm fairly confident i'm eventually going to run into somebody who's interested in the same thing yakno

the amount of people who exist who prefer the "old school" (overly romanticized) way of going about it are in a steep minority

most people your age prefer to just use dating apps because

A: its easier
B: allows you to prevent meeting creeps/annoying people before you waste time and money
C: allows you to find people who want the same thing without too much hassle

@MaXenzie got it right, it just prevents wasting time and money and lets you find out whether you like a person or not faster

I've met a lot of people through it, and even made friends out of some of the people I saw casually for a while - but trust me when I say, that friendships rarely evolve into relationships unless you see each other a lot or live together

 

[Subeh]

the amount of people who exist who prefer the "old school" (overly romanticized) way of going about it are in a steep minority

most people your age prefer to just use dating apps because

A: its easier
B: allows you to prevent meeting creeps/annoying people before you waste time and money
C: allows you to find people who want the same thing without too much hassle

@MaXenzie got it right, it just prevents wasting time and money and lets you find out whether you like a person or not faster

I've met a lot of people through it, and even made friends out of some of the people I saw casually for a while - but trust me when I say, that friendships rarely evolve into relationships unless you see each other a lot or live together

yeah its totally understandable, not saying i don't understand why people do it

i just personally can't stomach the idea of it. to me it seems impersonal and effortless, when - in my opinion - it shouldn't be something easy because that effort can make quite a good impression on people

then again, a lot of the time it can be down to where people live, too. i live in a pretty good area with pretty good people, but i know a lot of people overseas who live in high crime rate areas and/or generally shitty areas with a lot of shitty people, so dating apps are their best alternative

but i guess, too, it's got a lot to do with the fact i don't actively seek it and probably won't; the time i spend actively seeking it could be put into my passions, which in turn would probably lead to me finding friends/a potential partner purely because they happen to be interested in the same thing

i dunno. there's just something about dating apps that feels extremely artificial and bland, i don't really like it; i get far more enjoyment and self-satisfaction out of meeting people face-to-face without having spoken to them online beforehand, which could have a lot to do with the fact that - for a lot of my teens - i never really did that. i was home schooled (which i will never regret, mind you; even if it tanked my social strength) so i'm not surprised that i get so much more excited about doing it ye olden way rather than through smth like tinder

 

[Deleted member 22]

Not going great

 

[Deleted member 93]

Not going great

Whatsup pal?

 

[FreeSpy]

so, recently i've been talking to a girl, well used to, we tried to go out twice, one night i got wasted before told her drunkenly i'm not going out, another something else came up. ever since then it's been quiet or just radio silence because the spark that was there was off. in the end she told me she liked me but she wanted me to meet her in real life, and i was hesitant of getting in the relationship, simply because i knew it'd be a problem since neither of us were mentally stable for such a commitment, so i chose not to pursue it, even though i wanted to. I believed it'd be a fix to the whole problem and in the end, it was not.
now that she's talking to other guys and it's visible she is i feel fucked because i didn't commit, because i kinda wanted to, and especially recently with another issue, i feel like i'm too much and too little at the same time.

i've been on a trip recently that really highlighted to me a problem of mine, an inferiority complex. I've always felt speaking to my friends who were better physically, mentally, that i could never get to that point. not really because oh i can't put in the work, but i've always made excuses about shit, which have been half true. Anyway back on topic. A girl who i thought was cool n shit, i decided that on that trip i'd chat with her and try to make something. A friend, a whatever, i don't care. I don't want a relationship with her however as she's in my class and that'd be a problem eventually, even though I plan to move out of the school I'm in if shit doesn't get better.

i'm a shut in guy, until I have a couple drinks, and then I become a lot more active, buzzed up by booze or whatever, but i get a lot more sociable and a lot more open, but speaking to her a bit, and getting shut out, i realized something about the whole thing. i didn't make a good impression, and i've always been open about my flaws, but, that's my problem. my flaws always stick out, and it makes me feel less, than lets say her, who for example we only see her being smart, chill and all that, but people see me as a shut in who barely speaks, who's loud at other times and a know-it-all. it doesn't help i almost dated one of her friends twice but because of other things it did not work out, so i feel like that really doesn't help showing me in a better light than the flaws i mentioned

and i dunno, i think I have an inferiority complex, because I always look at people's work and shit and i go "wow, i wanna do that", start trying and realize I don't have what it takes, even though people have told me I do, or they told me stuff that makes me think i can do things. and then i fail, and then i think that the people i thought i could replicate in terms of quality, are a lot higher than me in skill, which in it of itself is fine but thinking that and then saying "oh i can't get there" is what makes me think I believe I'm inferior to people. Doesn't help a lot of the time i'm ignored by people, real life and online, like i'm an outsider in most things.

 

[Zeenz]

so, recently i've been talking to a girl, well used to, we tried to go out twice, one night i got wasted before told her drunkenly i'm not going out, another something else came up. ever since then it's been quiet or just radio silence because the spark that was there was off. in the end she told me she liked me but she wanted me to meet her in real life, and i was hesitant of getting in the relationship, simply because i knew it'd be a problem since neither of us were mentally stable for such a commitment, so i chose not to pursue it, even though i wanted to. I believed it'd be a fix to the whole problem and in the end, it was not.
now that she's talking to other guys and it's visible she is i feel fucked because i didn't commit, because i kinda wanted to, and especially recently with another issue, i feel like i'm too much and too little at the same time.

i've been on a trip recently that really highlighted to me a problem of mine, an inferiority complex. I've always felt speaking to my friends who were better physically, mentally, that i could never get to that point. not really because oh i can't put in the work, but i've always made excuses about shit, which have been half true. Anyway back on topic. A girl who i thought was cool n shit, i decided that on that trip i'd chat with her and try to make something. A friend, a whatever, i don't care. I don't want a relationship with her however as she's in my class and that'd be a problem eventually, even though I plan to move out of the school I'm in if shit doesn't get better.

i'm a shut in guy, until I have a couple drinks, and then I become a lot more active, buzzed up by booze or whatever, but i get a lot more sociable and a lot more open, but speaking to her a bit, and getting shut out, i realized something about the whole thing. i didn't make a good impression, and i've always been open about my flaws, but, that's my problem. my flaws always stick out, and it makes me feel less, than lets say her, who for example we only see her being smart, chill and all that, but people see me as a shut in who barely speaks, who's loud at other times and a know-it-all. it doesn't help i almost dated one of her friends twice but because of other things it did not work out, so i feel like that really doesn't help showing me in a better light than the flaws i mentioned

and i dunno, i think I have an inferiority complex, because I always look at people's work and shit and i go "wow, i wanna do that", start trying and realize I don't have what it takes, even though people have told me I do, or they told me stuff that makes me think i can do things. and then i fail, and then i think that the people i thought i could replicate in terms of quality, are a lot higher than me in skill, which in it of itself is fine but thinking that and then saying "oh i can't get there" is what makes me think I believe I'm inferior to people. Doesn't help a lot of the time i'm ignored by people, real life and online, like i'm an outsider in most things.

I would say unironically it’s why people say you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take but you did the smart thing if you thought both of you weren’t ready

 

[Ond]

so, recently i've been talking to a girl, well used to, we tried to go out twice, one night i got wasted before told her drunkenly i'm not going out, another something else came up. ever since then it's been quiet or just radio silence because the spark that was there was off. in the end she told me she liked me but she wanted me to meet her in real life, and i was hesitant of getting in the relationship, simply because i knew it'd be a problem since neither of us were mentally stable for such a commitment, so i chose not to pursue it, even though i wanted to. I believed it'd be a fix to the whole problem and in the end, it was not.
now that she's talking to other guys and it's visible she is i feel fucked because i didn't commit, because i kinda wanted to, and especially recently with another issue, i feel like i'm too much and too little at the same time.

i've been on a trip recently that really highlighted to me a problem of mine, an inferiority complex. I've always felt speaking to my friends who were better physically, mentally, that i could never get to that point. not really because oh i can't put in the work, but i've always made excuses about shit, which have been half true. Anyway back on topic. A girl who i thought was cool n shit, i decided that on that trip i'd chat with her and try to make something. A friend, a whatever, i don't care. I don't want a relationship with her however as she's in my class and that'd be a problem eventually, even though I plan to move out of the school I'm in if shit doesn't get better.

i'm a shut in guy, until I have a couple drinks, and then I become a lot more active, buzzed up by booze or whatever, but i get a lot more sociable and a lot more open, but speaking to her a bit, and getting shut out, i realized something about the whole thing. i didn't make a good impression, and i've always been open about my flaws, but, that's my problem. my flaws always stick out, and it makes me feel less, than lets say her, who for example we only see her being smart, chill and all that, but people see me as a shut in who barely speaks, who's loud at other times and a know-it-all. it doesn't help i almost dated one of her friends twice but because of other things it did not work out, so i feel like that really doesn't help showing me in a better light than the flaws i mentioned

and i dunno, i think I have an inferiority complex, because I always look at people's work and shit and i go "wow, i wanna do that", start trying and realize I don't have what it takes, even though people have told me I do, or they told me stuff that makes me think i can do things. and then i fail, and then i think that the people i thought i could replicate in terms of quality, are a lot higher than me in skill, which in it of itself is fine but thinking that and then saying "oh i can't get there" is what makes me think I believe I'm inferior to people. Doesn't help a lot of the time i'm ignored by people, real life and online, like i'm an outsider in most things.

sounds like you were leading someone on because you were too afraid to actually commit to something serious, so she found someone else who would

(this is meant generally) you need to work on yourself and like yourself as a person before you get into a relationship with others, they won't fix the problems you have with yourself

you give up on things easily, and dismiss other things because you're used to getting away with doing nothing or little as long as you have an excuse for it - stop settling for average or "okay" and start pulling yourself up by the neck when the going gets tough, that's how you get better. This "inferiority complex" is just in your head, you can do as much as the other guy if you want to. Physically speaking, that is.

 

[MaXenzie]

sounds like you were leading someone on because you were too afraid to actually commit to something serious, so she found someone else who would

god I've accidentally done this like 3 times

though i might just be an actual retard because i thought hugging women was a platonic thing and didn't know they'd consider it romantic

 

[Ond]

god I've accidentally done this like 3 times

though i might just be an actual retard because i thought hugging women was a platonic thing and didn't know they'd consider it romantic

depends entirely how you hug them and how you talk to them

anything below the ribcage is romantic, anything above is platonic (imo)

 

[Deleted member 22]

sounds like you were leading someone on because you were too afraid to actually commit to something serious, so she found someone else who would

(this is meant generally) you need to work on yourself and like yourself as a person before you get into a relationship with others, they won't fix the problems you have with yourself

you give up on things easily, and dismiss other things because you're used to getting away with doing nothing or little as long as you have an excuse for it - stop settling for average or "okay" and start pulling yourself up by the neck when the going gets tough, that's how you get better. This "inferiority complex" is just in your head, you can do as much as the other guy if you want to. Physically speaking, that is.

Last few paragraphs mildly speak to me