Serious Medical/Mental Illness. Or a general well being thread

['77 East]

swoop in when they break up

dangerous thinking man

encouraging the attitude of 'hey if things go badly I benefit' just poisons people, especially when it comes to romance or politics

 

[Mute]

feel happy for them
but if they're no longer happy together than make yourself happy with her

again unsure how much time i got

almost wrapping up school, wont be here for the summer, people grow apart with time

if it works out great, if theyre happy great, dont think ill wait though

 

[Trains]

again unsure how much time i got

almost wrapping up school, wont be here for the summer, people grow apart with time

if it works out great, if theyre happy great, dont think ill wait though

you planning on uni? or you going into work straight away?

 

[MaelRadecs]

swoop in when they break up

no no no no dont encourage being an orbiter lmao

dont go looking for a relationship and dont wait for one either, good shit comes your way when you aren't actively searching for it gamer

 

[Snook]

man i really need to get this out
i have absolutely fucking destroyed my fingers cause anxietys kicked into 12th gear and i keep picking and biting at them so im semi-bleeding over my keyboard while i type this but i guess its for a positive reason

was debating where to post it but i need some i dunno advice or something


a while ago i made a post on the lgbt thread suspecting i didnt experience attraction, at the time i was in a pretty fucked up place mentally as i was the past few years, and the reason for it was due to me never experiencing "true attraction" so i was wondering if its that, guess not

had a crush for a few years now but never really spoke to her cause i was quite afraid and extremely closed off (and of social interaction in general), recently though ive been talking with a lot more people and becoming more open and shit and its been paying off so hooray, made a few friends for the first time in years
one of those friends happened to be the same crush mentioned previously

i cannot tell you how fucked up its got me dude i know some people are gonna see this and laugh but i genuinely didnt know you could even fucking feel this way, when people talked about it or i read about it in books or saw movies and tv shows i thought it was in an actual metaphorical sense to put it in perspective. my feelings for her kinda got kicked up to max

spoke to a few female friends to get their opinion and they say she likes me back, but i dunno, we've been talking quite actively for a week now (despite being in the same class for 4 years now), been watching horror movies she recommends me cause shes a big horror nut, spoke up until like 4-5am a few times, she says she finds me really funny, made an offhand comment about worrying for people she cares about after i went to bed early yesterday cause i had a massive fucking headache like never before. she's given me a few compliments about my hair and clothes

i genuinely just think she's being polite

yeah writing it out i feel fucking dumb too but im extremely fucking neurotic and she's really pretty and i feel like i got no fucking chance right cause she could probably pull any dude in the country

tomorrow we're going to an escape room with a few friends from school, was thinking of inviting her to coffee beforehand casually to discuss strategies and maybe giving her a note afterwards before we head home telling her what i feel

guess its kinda like my final chance since schools shut down since theres massive union protests for wages so idk when theyre gonna open back up, and even then theres only one month of school before we graduate

still feel like im gonna fuck it up though or she wont reciprocate and i really dont wanna lose her as a friend

gahd fuckin damn

just want to say @Mute what i would say to someone in one of our sessions if they came to me with this:

first of all don’t doubt yourself - you are funny and everyone gets negative thoughts but try and challenge them (fact or opinion, is there evidence to support this, etc)

secondly i just want to say (i don’t know much about your personal circumstances) but the more you do the better you feel so just do more of what you enjoy whether that be playing neb, going out to the cinema, watching a movie

life sucks sometimes but that doesn’t mean it’s all bad. you’re definitely a funny and charming person so i wouldn’t doubt yourself so much

 

[Luft]

nvm shes got a boyfriend mission aborted

 

[Ond]

nvm shes got a boyfriend mission aborted

swoop in when they break up

terrible advice, don't do this - rebounds are a very real thing

no no no no dont encourage being an orbiter lmao

dont go looking for a relationship and dont wait for one either, good shit comes your way when you aren't actively searching for it gamer

extremely based and good advice

when you actively search for something and want something so badly as you do (mute) you will look past very very red flags and accept insane shortcomings just because someone is paying attention to you - which is very bad down the line

again unsure how much time i got

almost wrapping up school, wont be here for the summer, people grow apart with time

if it works out great, if theyre happy great, dont think ill wait though

if they are in a relationship that started because they were in school together, and it also happens to be the way you got to know her, then you will more than likely never see this person again once school is over unless you go to university too and share the same classes

just keeping it real man

 

[Deleted member 930]

Nvm

 

[Mute]

you planning on uni? or you going into work straight away?

uni, but we arent going into the same major(?)/college

honestly surprisingly im sort of over it already, spoke about it with a few friends as well

thanks for the advice to everyone who posted as well

it was a good lesson in not waiting and putting shit off though

 

[Ond]

uni, but we arent going into the same major(?)/college

honestly surprisingly im sort of over it already, spoke about it with a few friends as well

thanks for the advice to everyone who posted as well

it was a good lesson in not waiting and putting shit off though

tinder, king

if you are old enough

getting out there and getting experience is, by itself, good for learning

 

[Deleted member 930]

tinder, king

if you are old enough

getting out there and getting experience is, by itself, good for learning

I wouldn't recommend Tinder if you wanna gather experience.

People on Tinder tend to be shallow and superficial and when you find matches they usually don't respond. I went to a Dance Course and met new people through this and we all shared same hobby and got to know us eachother.

But Dating Apps are real shit, people with high expectations because they themselves only want the best, for them you're just picture.

 

[Trains]

uni, but we arent going into the same major(?)/college

idk what it’s like out where you live, but if you're going to uni (especially if you're living there) you'll probably meet so many people you wouldn't believe

it’s all good baby baby

 

[Mic15000]

nvm shes got a boyfriend mission aborted

I’m in your same boat gamer, broke my heart when I found out but tbh after a while I said if she’s happy I’m happy. You can find other people. On the bright side you can still be friends!
[doublepost=1650036893][/doublepost]

tinder, king

if you are old enough

getting out there and getting experience is, by itself, good for learning

I would not recommend any Dating apps. They do work occasionally however I’m studying Marketing and on the topic of dating apps we’ve discovered their algorithm is biased against you if you are male. Promoting people who pay more and overall attempting /not/ to find you love. After all if you find something you won’t use the app anymore.

You’d have more luck stumbling through some bars or clubs (or classes if you’re in college) than dating apps.

 

[john]

I would not recommend any Dating apps. They do work occasionally however I’m studying Marketing and on the topic of dating apps we’ve discovered their algorithm is biased against you if you are male. Promoting people who pay more and overall attempting /not/ to find you love. After all if you find something you won’t use the app anymore.

You’d have more luck stumbling through some bars or clubs (or classes if you’re in college) than dating apps.

isnt the algorithm based on not swiping right too much and picky people being prefered??

also, even if this is true; it's still a good way to get out there. shallow people, whatever bias you've already got, its the place to go out on dates and actually get some experience in. i fundamentally disagree with this being a bad thing for social development and confidence

 

[Ond]

I wouldn't recommend Tinder if you wanna gather experience.

People on Tinder tend to be shallow and superficial and when you find matches they usually don't respond. I went to a Dance Course and met new people through this and we all shared same hobby and got to know us eachother.

But Dating Apps are real shit, people with high expectations because they themselves only want the best, for them you're just picture.

I’m in your same boat gamer, broke my heart when I found out but tbh after a while I said if she’s happy I’m happy. You can find other people. On the bright side you can still be friends!
[doublepost=1650036893][/doublepost]

I would not recommend any Dating apps. They do work occasionally however I’m studying Marketing and on the topic of dating apps we’ve discovered their algorithm is biased against you if you are male. Promoting people who pay more and overall attempting /not/ to find you love. After all if you find something you won’t use the app anymore.

You’d have more luck stumbling through some bars or clubs (or classes if you’re in college) than dating apps.

i'm keeping it real gamers, results vary depending on your approach and appearance

dating apps arent any more superficial than real life

people don't approach people they don't find attractive, and if you have shit chat odds are they won't respond either

staying in your shell and refusing to interact with women unless its in REAL LIFE just isn't the way things are done anymore, and it's easier when you know what people are there for from the get-go

 

[Mic15000]

isnt the algorithm based on not swiping right too much and picky people being prefered??

also, even if this is true; it's still a good way to get out there. shallow people, whatever bias you've already got, its the place to go out on dates and actually get some experience in. i fundamentally disagree with this being a bad thing for social development and confidence

Glad you asked. Tinder offers various tiers such as tinder Gold. Males who use that tier are swiped more than those who don’t. The reason we’ve discovered in class was because they are shown on more girls pages. Why? Well the truth is dating app demographic is highly male with less girls on it. To make money Tinder prioritizes those people by giving them the hope of love.

As I mentioned it might work, however so would going outside. And I don’t see tinder as much as a dating site than hook up site from what I’ve seen, however I admit that might just be pre-biases I was taught so I’m probably wrong on that.

but of course Results vary person by person so really it ups to you to decide your best approach.

 

[avralwobniar]

@Mute high school relationships very rarely, if ever last
when I was in it there was this couple that dated from freshman year to senior, 4 years, then broke up on the last two weeks before graduation.

college/uni and work is where you'll meet people that last

isnt the algorithm based on not swiping right too much and picky people being prefered??

also, even if this is true; it's still a good way to get out there. shallow people, whatever bias you've already got, its the place to go out on dates and actually get some experience in. i fundamentally disagree with this being a bad thing for social development and confidence

when I tried them out all I got was super shallow college girls being thrown into mine. you need the worlds best banger cover photo since that's all anyone will look at, and you need to talk some mad crazy game otherwise you'll get zero responses. if you dont got that, then you have to be on the grind treatin that shit like an mmo

 

[john]

As I mentioned it might work, however so would going outside. And I don’t see tinder as much as a dating site than hook up site from what I’ve seen, however I admit that might just be pre-biases I was taught so I’m probably wrong on that.

even if so, its still a good place for dates. if anything, that first meeting is a good figure of "is this a catfish" or "am i gonna get robbed and killed".

its all still conversation with new people that you'll build up overtime. this is again, not a bad thing

when I tried them out all I got was super shallow college girls being thrown into mine. you need the worlds best banger cover photo since that's all anyone will look at, and you need to talk some mad crazy game otherwise you'll get zero responses. if you dont got that, then you have to be on the grind treatin that shit like an mmo

as long as you dont front like you think the first woman you run into is gonna be a longterm relationship, its fine. just play the tinder game, know its just numbers and that if someones swiped you, they evidently find you hot; and fake it til you make it. its really not all that, and its good date practice.

 

[Deleted member 930]

i'm keeping it real gamers, results vary depending on your approach and appearance

dating apps arent any more superficial than real life

people don't approach people they don't find attractive, and if you have shit chat odds are they won't respond either

staying in your shell and refusing to interact with women unless its in REAL LIFE just isn't the way things are done anymore, and it's easier when you know what people are there for from the get-go

But what if ? you want a meaningfull relationship instead of a one-night stand.

If you go to Dating Apps for pussy then, it's fine i agree on that one because the people on those apps want something similiar.

But for people who want a serious and long lasting relationship it's important to pick a partner who is compatibile to you and on Dating Apps you won't happen to find those with exception of older people who have a bit more life experience.

I am more of a calm person and i just want some to spend time with someone, who can back me up on my harder days. My experience taught me, i still need to wait and in the mean time i'm just going to grind.

 

[Ond]

But what if ? you want a meaningfull relationship instead of a one-night stand.

If you go to Dating Apps for pussy then, it's fine i agree on that one because the people on those apps want something similiar.

But for people who want a serious and long lasting relationship it's important to pick a partner who is compatibile to you and on Dating Apps you won't happen to find those with exception of older people who have a bit more life experience.

I am more of a calm person and i just want some to spend time with someone, who can back me up on my harder days. My experience taught me, i still need to wait and in the mean time i'm just going to grind.

2 of my relationships came from tinder, but i have also used it for casual stuff in-between and beforehand


i'll be honest man, it sounds like a you-thing