I've become so numbingly skilled at being a non-player, I don't think I'll ever recover, even if I wanted. I've mastered the ability to emote, and the ability to dodge without using the dodge perk.
Whenever I'm duelling someone, I sometimes just impulsively stop and stare to see what they would do, and without skipping a beat, with the chance of a miracle, the opoonent would do the same. And I would look at him, and he would look at me. And we would know. We would know we did not want to fight. We knew that we both wanted funny moment -- and as if telepathically communicating, we both kill each other spontaneously at the same time, and we were happy.
I cannot and never could play this game competitively. Not anymore. It's simply mind numbingly boring to just fight, and the only joy I find is watching someone die, turn to look at another player, and we would both shrug.